


We All Lie

by baeconandeggs, blank_expression



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Bittersweet Ending, Heavy Angst, M/M, Minor Character Death(s), Psychotic Behavior, Romance, Some Fluff, Suicidal Thoughts, past!baekyeon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-16
Updated: 2019-05-16
Packaged: 2020-03-06 13:50:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 64,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18852355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/baeconandeggs/pseuds/baeconandeggs, https://archiveofourown.org/users/blank_expression/pseuds/blank_expression
Summary: Baekhyun just so happens to fall in love with the man who had destroyed everything he once loved.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> **Disclaimer: baeconandeggs/the mods is/are not the author/s of this story. Authors will be credited and tagged after reveals.** The celebrities' names/images are merely borrowed and do not represent who the celebrities are in real life. No offense is intended towards them, their families or friends. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this fictional work. No copyright infringement is intended.  
>   
> 
> **Author's Note:** First off, I want to thank the mods for always helping me out whenever I've got questions. To the mods, thank you so much for being so kind and understanding. Also, thank you for all the hard work you've done over the past few years. I really can't appreciate it enough. Second of all, I really want to thank the prompter for thinking of this prompt. I'm not sure if I've done justice, but I hope it satisfies you ^_^ 
> 
> Lastly, this is an important one, this fic gets extremely dark near the end, so read at your own risk! I've really enjoyed writing this fic a lot, but I've also shed many tears while writing it, so please just be aware T_T 
> 
> Thank you to all who may have stumbled upon this fic. Your interest in this fic already means so much to me, so thank you, thank you, thank you <3

Life was absolutely blissful for the young, married couple. 

 

After being married for five years already, the Byun couple was finally expecting their first child, a son to be exact. Baekhyun had been absolutely ecstatic. As soon as the doctor announced that their little baby was going to be a boy, Baekhyun had already started to imagine the fun he would have with his son once their child grows up. Baekhyun could already start counting the amount of activities they would do, and by doing so, his excitement grew exponentially. 

 

However, the same could not be said for his wife, Taeyeon. She merely sighed while her husband was grinning ecstatically. She had really hoped the baby would be a girl; Taeyeon had heard from her best friend, who had a son, that boys could be a little naughty as a toddler. 

 

Despite desperately wanting a daughter, Taeyeon didn’t love her baby any less. Their baby was created out of her and her husband’s love. 

 

The couple couldn’t have been any more grateful for their little baby. 

 

They had tried so many times to have a baby, but they have failed every time before this pregnancy. Just when they were about to give up, Taeyeon was finally experiencing the first symptoms of pregnancy. The couple decided to go the hospital when Taeyeon’s “flu” had not gone away for more than a week, and just like that, the doctor announced that they were pregnant.

 

It was absolutely one of the best days of their lives, besides their wedding day, of course. 

 

From that day on, Baekhyun and Taeyeon promised themselves that they’d love their baby unconditionally and that they’d protect him from any harm in the world.

 

* * * 

 

Taeyeon was sick, and Baekhyun would be a fool not to notice that. 

 

It started just when Taeyeon started her third trimester. The fevers lingered on for days. Some days the fever would go away, and just when they thought it’d stay away, it came back fiercer than ever. The fevers along with the pregnancy absolutely did not go along together. 

 

Taeyeon’s health wasn’t slowly deteriorating. It was becoming worse faster than ever as the days passed. 

 

Baekhyun did everything he could to help his wife in the slightest. He’d try to massage the areas on her body where she claimed it hurt; he’d try to cook meals despite being a terrible cook; and then he prayed and prayed. He begged the Heavens that everything would eventually be okay. 

 

Unfortunately, Baekhyun should’ve known better. 

 

Just a few days after Taeyeon had somewhat seemed to recover from one of her fevers, she began to have contractions. 

 

Their baby was ready to come out into the world, but Taeyeon was not. As soon as the contractions hit her, the fever came back, and it was back to take vengeance. Taeyeon had sobbed as she clung onto Baekhyun’s hands as they rode in the back of the ambulance. Since their baby had decided to come out two months too early before his due date, Taeyeon was immediately rushed to the hospital for an emergency C-section. 

 

As soon as Taeyeon was whisked away on her stretcher into the emergency room, Baekhyun immediately broke down. God knows how much he desperately wanted to break down before all of this happened, but Baekhyun tried to stay strong for the sake of his wife. He knew he had to be the support that Taeyeon needed while she was close to losing her life. 

 

When the doctor came out of the emergency room, Baekhyun looked up, eyes red and puffy from his tears. The tears merely continued to flow down his cheeks when the doctor asked him to make a choice that Baekhyun never imagined he’d have to make. 

 

“It’s either your wife or the baby, Mr. Byun. I’m sorry, but we tried desperately to save both.”

 

The doctor said it so simply as if it was nothing. As if losing even one of the two precious things in his life wouldn’t crush his entire soul and world. 

 

“I’m sorry, but you must make your decision quickly or you will lose both.” 

 

Baekhyun couldn’t even express his anger at the doctor for not even allowing him to grieve for a second. He had to make the right decision, but what was the right decision for him.    
  
“M-My…” Baekhyun whimpered out.  _ Wife _ , Baekhyun wanted to say, but he knew better than that. He knew if he said his wife, then Taeyeon would kill him after she wakes up, knowing that Baekhyun decided to kill their baby, their son that they promised they’d love unconditionally. “Baby. My son. Save him, please.” 

 

And that was the final answer that would change Byun Baekhyun’s life forever. It was the answer that destroyed half of his heart and soul. 

 

* * *

 

Baekhyun never would have imagined that he’d be placing lilies on top of his wife’s coffin, but here he was. Two weeks after Taeyeon’s death, Baekhyun had been placing lilies on top of her grave everyday. 

 

Losing Taeyeon was one of the most painful experiences of Baekhyun’s life. He cried endless tears on that miserable and horrendous day. Nothing would’ve made that day any better, not even his son who immediately had to be placed into the NICU. 

 

Their son was born prematurely, thus his lungs were not fully developed. Despite begging the doctors to save his son’s life, the doctors couldn’t even promise the young man that his son would live. Baekhyun had so desperately wanted to scream, scream at the doctors for not being able to promise him anything, scream at the Heavens for taking the love of his life away from him. 

 

It wasn’t supposed to end like this. None of this was supposed to happen. The couple had promised each other that they would love each other until they’re old with white hair; they promised each other they would die in each other’s arms. Now, Baekhyun couldn’t believe that he was standing above his wife’s grave, his tears dripping down his cheeks as the lilies fell to the ground. 

 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Baekhyun cried as he fell to his knees, clutching his chest for the pain was becoming unbearable. The image of seeing the blood surrounding his wife suddenly crossed his mind, and Baekhyun let out a soft whimper. He wanted to burn that traumatic image from his brain, but somehow it was the only image that would come to his mind, taunting him while he was awake and even in his nightmares. 

 

“I’m sorry,” Baekhyun cried once more as if saying it one more time could bring her back. 

 

She was gone. Taeyeon was gone. And a part of Baekhyun was gone on that day as well. 

 

* * *

 

Baekhyun stared helplessly at his son who was still in the NICU. 

 

Two months had passed ever since his son’s birth, which also means it had been two months since Taeyeon’s death. Nothing could have eased Baekhyun’s pain. The image of his dead wife still taunted him. The only thing that was keeping him sane was the baby inside the incubator. 

 

Baby. 

 

The little infant didn’t even have a name. Baekhyun had been so caught up with dealing with his wife’s death that he hadn’t even given his precious child a name. He and Taeyeon were supposed to come up with a name together after he was born, but of course that never happened. Taeyeon had passed away too early before she could give him a name.  

 

“Jaehyun,” Baekhyun said tiredly as he continued to stare at the baby. There was no response, of course. Even though two months had passed, the doctors still couldn’t promise him anything. In fact, they were rather surprised when the infant had survived more than one month in the incubator. Baekhyun would’ve called it a miracle, but he knew from the past that he shouldn’t call something a miracle too soon. Anything could happen. Just like what happened to his wife. “Taemin.” Still, no response. Just the baby’s chest slowly rising and falling. 

 

“Haechan… Jungwoo…” 

 

Nothing. 

 

Suddenly, a name popped up in Baekhyun’s head. “Taehyung.” 

 

And that was when the baby suddenly opened up its tiny pupils, and the first thing he saw was his father. His father who had fallen in love once again. Baekhyun’s vision began to blur, and soon he felt wetness on his cheeks. He soon realized that he was tearing up again, but for once in two months, he was crying out of happiness. His little baby, his little Taehyung, had opened his eyes and saw Baekhyun for the first time. 

 

“So you’ve finally decided to name your baby, Mr. Byun?” the nurse asked curiously. She saw Baekhyun’s tears and gave him a soft pat on the shoulder, deciding not to question why he was crying. 

 

“Yeah,” Baekhyun responded softly. “Taehyung. Byun Taehyung.” 

 

As soon as the name was spoken out loud, a sudden whimper could be heard in the incubator. 

 

The nurse smiled softly. “Looks like little Taehyung will be a miracle baby.” 

 

Finally, Baekhyun could sigh in relief. He placed his hand over his chest, feeling the soft beats of his heart. 

 

_ Did you hear that, Taeyeon? Our baby will live. Our miracle baby is truly a miracle. _

 

Eventually, a few weeks passed by like a breeze. Now, Baekhyun was anticipating holding Taehyung for the first time. 

 

Ever since the nurse had declared that Taehyung’s conditions were improving, Baekhyun continued to stay by his son’s side. Never once in those days that he stayed by Taehyung’s side did he think about his wife’s death. He would only think about how much Taeyeon would have wanted to witness this moment. He would think about how Taeyeon would have made a great mother. Though those thoughts hurt him, it didn’t hurt him as much as thinking about her death. He soon came to realize that Taehyung was slowly mending his broken heart. 

 

Nonetheless, Baekhyun was finally starting to think that he made the right decision. He soon realized that he did make the right decision when the nurse finally placed the swaddled baby into his awaiting arms. The nurse had made sure he washed his hands thoroughly and cleaned the dirt under his nails. Even though Taehyung’s immune system was slowly improving, it was still possible for him to get sick, and neither one of them wanted to risk that happening. 

 

As soon as Taehyung was placed into his arms, Baekhyun knew he had fallen in love. He never thought he would have fallen in love again, but right then and there, Taehyung was looking up at him, eyes filled with so much innocence and dependence on his father. 

 

Baekhyun promised from that day on that he’d be the father that Taehyung deserved. The young male promised himself that he’d protect Taehyung. He would do it even without his wife because all that he’s got left now is his son. 

 

“I love you, my little Tae-Tae.” 


	2. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

 

_ Five years later _

 

It was six o’clock sharp when the sound of an alarm blaring through the room could be heard. 

 

Baekhyun slowly opened his eyes, squinting a little as he did so when the morning sun hit his eyes. For a full minute, he didn’t move and allowed the alarm to keep on blaring. Only when Baekhyun felt like he could fully open his eyes again did he shut off his alarm, letting out a harsh sigh while doing so. With his eyes wide open now, he stared absentmindedly at the dull ceiling. The young man then placed his arm on the spot next to him, feeling the coolness of it from being untouched for so long. 

 

Five years. It had been five years since that dreadful day when the love of his life was snatched away from him just like that. It had been five years since he slept alone in a bed meant for two. And, of course, it had been five years since the birth of his precious, miracle baby. 

 

Taehyung, his only son, was his everything in the last five years. Taehyung was his treasure that he promised to protect from any harm. If Baekhyun had a chance, he’d say that he had been doing a pretty decent job at keeping his promise. 

 

Taehyung was slowly growing up into a brilliant, little boy. Despite only being five-years-old, the boy was able to see through his father’s emotions like no one other. Taehyung understood the pain and sacrifices that Baekhyun had to go through alone while taking care of him. In return, Taehyung would constantly give all of his love to his father. By doing so, he was slowly filling up the voidness in Baekhyun’s heart without the latter even realizing. Taehyung was the missing piece in his life that Baekhyun needed so desperately after Taeyeon’s death. 

 

Thinking of his son, Baekhyun allowed a small smile to creep onto his face. Today would be Taehyung’s first day of school. Baekhyun almost couldn’t believe it when he was reminded by his calendar. It seemed like only yesterday when Baekhyun was holding his precious jewel in his arms as he fed him with milk in his baby bottle. 

 

Baekhyun would have teared up right then and there just thinking about Taehyung’s baby days when he was caught off guard by the sound of his alarm ringing once again. He had forgot that he put it on snooze and immediately shut it off, now remembering why he had decided to wake up so early. 

 

Usually Baekhyun would wake up an hour later. Ever since Taehyung was born, Baekhyun’s body was now accustomed to waking up at such an early hour. It was because Taehyung had constantly cried at night, waking up his father at an ungodly hour in the middle of the night. Baekhyun, of course, couldn’t blame his son. Now that Taehyung was starting his first day of school, Baekhyun wished he cherished the days when his son was still an infant. 

 

Finally deciding to get out of bed, Baekhyun soon began to start his day. He told himself he’d wake up an hour earlier just so he could have more time to prepare for his son’s first day of school. 

 

After getting washed up and dressed, he quietly made his way down to the kitchen. It was still too early in the morning, and he didn’t want to wake up his son when school would start in a few hours. There was still time for his son to sleep, and Baekhyun wanted Taehyung to get as much rest as possible. 

Starting school was a big step in life, and Baekhyun wanted his son to be prepared as much as possible for this big step in life. 

 

Baekhyun soon started making breakfast. He usually would’ve made it rather quickly since he had actually improved his cooking skills a lot over the years (besides, being a single father required him to make healthy meals for his child), but since today was more of a special occasion, Baekhyun slowly prepared breakfast, making sure that everything was absolutely perfect. 

 

He had made miso soup along with rice, eggs, kimchi, and everything his son would’ve wanted. After making the dishes and placing them on the table, Baekhyun checked the time and sighed in relief knowing that there was still time plenty of time for his son to eat. Baekhyun had used up all of his time making breakfast for his son, so now it was finally time to wake him up. 

 

Going upstairs and heading towards Taehyung’s room, Baekhyun entered the little boy’s room silently. As he entered, Baekhyun would’ve sworn he felt his heart flutter as the sight of his son came into his view. He had looked almost exactly the same as he did when he was infant. The only differences were that his son’s teeth grew out, his hair grew longer, and of course he grew taller. 

 

Despite the small differences, Baekhyun could already see how his son would grow up to become a fine handsome, young man. 

 

Walking closer to his son, Baekhyun lied down gently beside him. Lightly placing his hand over Taehyung’s chubby cheeks, Baekhyun internally cooed at how adorable he looked. With his mouth slightly parted and his lips pouting, Baekhyun almost hated himself for having to wake up his son who looked like he was in so much peace.

 

Unfortunately, Baekhyun had no choice. As his son’s father, he had to make sure Taehyung was ready for his first day of school. 

 

Gently patting Taehyung’s cheeks, Baekhyun quietly whispered, “Taehyung, sweetie, you gotta wake up.” 

 

There was no response at first, so Baekhyun continued to whisper, “Baby, you gotta wake up for your first day of school.” Still there was no response, so Baekhyun decided another method of waking up his son. He would hum a song to him, and even though he’d usually hum to make his son fall asleep, he thought it was worth a shot to try and get him to wake up. 

 

Baekhyun soon hummed a lullaby that he’d always sang to Taehyung when the latter was an infant and had trouble falling asleep. He continued to hum until his son finally stirred, and soon he cracked an eye open. One thing lead to another and, soon enough, Taehyung had both his eyes wide open, staring at his father and reminding the latter of the day he named his son. Taehyung looking at him now reminded him so much of the time he opened his eyes when he was in the incubator, seeing his father for the first time. 

 

“Hello, my little angel,” Baekhyun chuckled at how cute his son looked at that moment. It was obvious that Taehyung was still sleepy, but he didn’t close his eyes. “Do you remember what today is?” 

 

Taehyung stared mindlessly at his father for a second before shooting his eyes wide open and letting out a huge grin. “It’s my first day of school, daddy!” 

 

“That’s right, baby. Are you excited?”

 

Taehyung nodded happily. 

 

“I’m glad. School will be so much fun. You’ll make so many new friends and learn a lot of cool things,” Baekhyun spoke to his child as he reminisced his past school years. His mind instantly remembered the time he met Taeyeon back in high school. At that time, Baekhyun wouldn’t have believed that seeing someone for the first time could be their true love, but he was proven wrong the moment he saw Taeyeon.

 

She was beauty at its finest, and she had captured his heart the moment she laid eyes on him. Just thinking about those special moments with his late wife almost brought Baekhyun to tears if it weren’t for his son who decided to climb onto his stomach. 

 

“Is daddy thinking about mommy again?” Taehyung pouted, his little crescent-like eyes beginning to tear up a little. 

 

Baekhyun had always appreciated his son for being able to read emotions, for it only made his son even more lovable to anyone who approached him. Unfortunately, it was times like these ones when he hated it because he knew he was hurting his son by thinking about his wife again. Never in his life would he ever wish to hurt his son, but here he was, thinking about Taeyeon which only made his son worry over him.    
  


It should’ve been the other way around: Baekhyun worrying over Taehyung. However, he really had to appreciate that there was at least someone in his life who cared enough about him. Baekhyun really wouldn’t know what to do with his life if Taehyung hadn’t survived. 

 

“Yes, daddy’s thinking about mommy,” Baekhyun decided to tell the truth. There was no point in lying to his five-year-old son who already knew the truth about his mother. “But don’t let that upset you. I’m just remembering the good times I shared with your mother, and I hope that you would have good memories too when you’re in school.” 

 

“I will, daddy! I promise,” Taehyung exclaimed cheerfully, the tears in his eyes already disappearing. 

 

“That’s good.” Baekhyun grinned before he sat up and opened his arms for his son. Taehyung immediately closed the gap between them and hugged his father, the latter doing the same but even more tightly. “I love you so much, Tae-Tae. Don’t ever forget that.” 

 

“I love you too, daddy.” 

 

Baekhyun smiled before he sneakily crept his hands over Taehyung’s sides and began to tickle him. Taehyung bursted into laughter, and soon waves of laughter and screams of joy could be heard throughout the small room. 

 

“Daddy, stop!” Taehyung gasped, and Baekhyun did so as he saw his son not being to able to take it anymore. 

 

Baekhyun stared lovingly at his son before asking him an essential question. “Now, my son, I have to ask you a very important question.” 

 

Taehyung tilted his head in confusion. “What is it, daddy?”

 

“Would you like grapes or apples for your snack today?” 

 

Taehyung thought for a moment before answering, “Both!” 

 

“Hm, good choice!” Baekhyun high-fived his son before both of them finally got out of bed. 

 

It was finally time for Taehyung to start his first day of school. No matter how much pain it brought upon Baekhyun to finally realize that his son was growing up and didn’t need to depend on him as much, he was nothing but happy as he watched his son smile ecstatically as he walked into his first class.  

 

Baekhyun didn’t leave until class finally started, and when it did, that was when Baekhyun had to go back to work, which was at the hospital. 

 

Before he and Taeyeon got married, Baekhyun had always studied to become a nurse. However, things happened. He had fallen deeply in love and chose to officially marry Taeyeon. Of course, he didn’t want school to interfere with his relationship, so he decided to be on a hiatus for a while. Although just when he was about to go back to school, Taeyeon got pregnant, and he knew there was absolutely no way he’d be able to study while taking care of his wife. Of course, Baekhyun had to put his wife first before anything else. 

 

After Taeyeon’s death, Baekhyun finally decided it was time to go back to school and finish his studies once and for all. When Taeyeon was still alive, she had brought them a steady income. Being a model surely had its benefits. However, Baekhyun knew he couldn’t rely on the leftover money forever, so he eventually began to take on internships at different hospitals.

 

There was no doubt that it was hard balancing the life of a father and student. Sometimes he just wanted it all to end. Sometimes he wanted to end his own dream. Sometimes he even wanted to give up his son for adoption, which he absolutely regretted ever thinking about it. However, Baekhyun was able to make some friends who were able to support him and encourage him to continue. But the biggest motivator was, of course, his lovely son who had cheered him on before he took his final exam. 

 

Without a doubt, he passed the test without trouble and soon became a registered nurse, gaining a pretty decent income. 

 

Sure enough, the years of hard work finally paid off, even though they had been filled with tears, anger, and frustration. Now he and Taehyung could live comfortably in a small house without worrying about money. That was all he could’ve ever wanted, and what he wanted was for him to be able to provide the things his son needed without struggling with money.

 

When Baekhyun arrived at the hospital, he had changed into his scrubs. As soon as he arrived, he walked over towards the front desk. Baekhyun smiled softly as he watched and listened to his two coworkers (they’re more like his best friends) bicker about last night’s news. 

 

“I’m telling you, Minseok, they’ll eventually catch him! They can’t just let that psychopath run around the streets any longer.” 

 

“Yeah, they’ll catch him… in like fifty years. It’s impossible, Jongdae, that man’s just too good if it’s been five years and they still haven’t caught him.” 

 

“Okay, but-”

 

“Hey,” Baekhyun finally interrupted, chuckling lightly when his two friends looked up at him with surprise. “What are you guys talking about?” he asked curiously before walking behind the front desk to get to his work station. 

 

“Baek, what’s up!” Jongdae exclaimed happily as he patted the said man’s back. “Minseok and I were just talking about the culprit on yesterday’s news.”

 

“Culprit? What culprit?” Baekhyun questioned with slight bewilderment before he was given a shocked look that was plastered on both his friend’s faces. Baekhyun felt slightly guilty for not catching up with the news lately, but who could blame him? He was a single, working father. There really wasn’t any time for him to catch up with the news, for he had been taking care of his son while working at the same time. “Sorry I’m not caught up with the news,” Baekhyun uttered sarcastically, rolling his eyes. 

 

“Baek… this culprit’s been around for years! Have you really not heard of him?” Minseok wondered, eyes looking worriedly over at his best friend and coworker. “The child shooter? You really haven’t heard of him?”

 

Oh.

 

_ Ooooh.  _

 

Now Baekhyun knew who they were referring to. Of course he had heard about the culprit, but that was years ago. 

 

Apparently there had been a man who’d shoot one child per school. Every two months, he’d shoot one child, but that happened four years ago. It had been so long since Baekhyun had heard of the culprit, but the man was supposedly starting again. The culprit was last seen in Busan, which was rather far from Seoul, where Baekhyun and his son lived, so the young nurse wasn’t too concerned about the culprit. 

 

“Seems like you remember now?” Jongdae asked, raising a brow. 

 

Baekhyun nodded and shrugged. “Yeah, but I don’t know why you guys are so concerned about it. Besides, he was last seen in Busan.” 

 

Jongdae and Minseok shared a worried glance at each other before they both looked at Baekhyun. “The last child he shot was yesterday, and he was seen an hour away from here in Seoul,” Minseok explained softly. 

 

“What… no….” Baekhyun whispered quietly. That couldn’t be. He could’ve sworn the man was last seen in Busan, so what the hell was he doing here in Seoul? Baekhyun tried not to let this worry him so much, but he couldn’t help the thought that seeped through his mind. What if the man shot his little Tae-Tae? That thought was gone as soon as it came. Baekhyun couldn’t think like that, and he wouldn’t allow himself to think like that. 

 

Baekhyun had found a school that was highly secured by security guards, so there was no way that one single man could get in there and start shooting. There was just no way. 

 

Baekhyun allowed himself to calm down for a bit before finally responding. “Look, I’m not that concerned about that psychotic man, and I don’t think you guys should be either. Besides, I’m sure the police would catch him soon. The man’s in Seoul for God’s sake! The police here in Seoul won’t let the man get away with this.”

 

“Ha! Baekhyun seems to agree with me that the culprit will be caught soon!” Jongdae exclaimed proudly, sticking his tongue out at Minseok. The latter merely rolled his eyes. 

 

Jongdae pouted in response and was about to make another statement before he and Baekhyun were paged to take care of a new patient. 

 

It was time to get to work now. 

 

* * * 

 

It was four o’clock when Baekhyun’s shift finally ended, and he honestly couldn’t have been more grateful. After a full day of taking care of patients, he was finally going to see his son. He couldn’t wait to ask Taehyung how his first day of school was, which was why he was practically rushing to take off his scrubs. 

 

“Whoa there, Baek, you know you can slow down a bit,” Jongdae commented as he saw his friend practically throwing his outfit into his bag without much care. 

 

“I can’t, I gotta pick up Taehyung soon.” Baekhyun was almost panting as he continued to throw stuff into his bag. 

 

“Oh yeah, wasn’t it his first day of school?” Minseok asked and Baekhyun nodded in response. “Was he nervous? Did he cry for you?” 

 

Baekhyun sadly shook his head. “He was rather excited for school. When we got there, he immediately took off towards the section of the room where there were books. He even asked me to read a few to him before I had to leave.” 

 

“That’s so cute! Remember, Baek, you really gotta cherish these moments because you know that these moments will only become memories that you can never get back,” Jongdae stated blatantly, and Minseok nodded in agreement. 

 

Baekhyun, too, agreed with the both of them. “You’re right. I still can’t believe that my baby’s actually going to school now. He’s growing up so fast.”

 

“Well don’t let us stop you from making more memories with him,” Minseok said gently. 

 

“Thank you guys, really. I… appreciate everything you’ve both done for me,” Baekhyun said every word with honesty because it was true. 

 

When Baekhyun went to nursing school again, everyone was competing against each other. It was one of the main factors that had caused Baekhyun so much stress. Everyone would try to tear each other apart, stepping on each other to get to the top. Fortunately, Baekhyun was able to meet Jongdae and Minseok, who became his two closest friends that he could really count on and trust. 

 

When he told them that he was a single father, they immediately offered to babysit Taehyung if ever Baekhyun needed the break to study or simply take a breather. 

 

Back then, none of them would’ve believed that they would all pass the exams together and work at the same hospital, but here they were now. They were practically inseparable from each other, and Baekhyun even gave them the title of being Taehyung’s godfathers. 

 

“Well, I’m going to get going now. I’ll see the both of you tomorrow,” Baekhyun waved farewell to his friends before heading out of the hospital and into his car. 

 

He was finally going to see his little Tae-Tae again after a hard day of work. Baekhyun couldn’t wait to ask his son how his day was, and he could only hope that Taehyung had a good day at school. 

 

Of course, the first thing he received when he entered the classroom was a big hug from his son. 

 

“Taehyung! How was your first day of school, sweetie?” Baekhyun asked as he picked up his son and allowed him to rest on the side of his hip as he held him. 

 

Taehyung grinned brightly. “Good! I really like school!” 

 

As soon as he said that, the teacher came up to them and smiled at Baekhyun. “He was absolutely a gem today. He was very well behaved, and he seems very determined to learn.” 

 

“Well, he definitely got that from his mother,” Baekhyun responded with fondness. 

 

The teacher chuckled lightly before a frown appeared across her face. That was definitely an indication that what she had to say was serious. Baekhyun didn’t want Taehyung to hear what she had to say, so he placed his son down and told him to play in the corner where there were other kids who were still waiting for their parents to pick them up. 

 

“Is there something wrong, Mrs. Choi?” Baekhyun asked worriedly. 

 

“As you may probably know, there’s been a shooter going around.”

 

Baekhyun nodded. “I’m well aware of that.”

 

“Yes, and I just want to tell you that this school is well prepared for anything that could happen. You don’t have to worry about your son while he’s here. His safety and the kids’ safeties are our priority.” 

 

Baekhyun suddenly felt relief rush over him. Even though Baekhyun was still a little worried, he knew he should trust the school to keep all the students safe. “Thank you for the warning.” 

 

“Of course.” 

 

Baekhyun then called for his son to come over again, and he smiled when it seemed like Taehyung was a little hesitant to leave his new friends. He wasn’t surprised by how easily Taehyung was able to make friends. Baekhyun knew Taehyung’s outgoing trait was definitely given to him by his father. The young man smiled to himself when he remembered how outgoing he was back in high school. In fact, he was actually the first to approach Taeyeon when they first met. Though he was filled with nerves at the time, Baekhyun learned that he’d never regret that moment in his life. 

 

When Baekhyun held onto Taehyung’s hand to lead him out to the car, the little boy seemed to notice how happy his father was. “Daddy, are you happy?” 

 

“Of course, baby. Why wouldn’t I be?”

 

“You were sad this morning,” Taehyung pouted slightly. 

 

Baekhyun’s heart clenched at how upset Taehyung sounded. He couldn’t believe his five-year-old son could still remember such small details about his emotions even after hours it had happened. Because he didn’t want his son to worry so much about him, Baekhyun smiled softly as he gently caressed his son’s cheeks. 

 

“Tae-Tae, I know daddy may seem upset sometimes, but just know that having you in my life makes me the happiest person on earth.”

 

The little boy’s eyes shined brightly with that comment. “I really make daddy happy?” 

 

Baekhyun nodded. “More than you will ever know.” 

 

Immediately, his son opened up his arms before giving his father a large embrace and burying his face into the crook of Baekhyun’s neck. “I love you, daddy.”

 

“I love you too, my little Tae-Tae.”

 

After the father and son duo cuddled for some time, Baekhyun decided it was time to celebrate. It was, after all, Taehyung’s first day of school, and he had done so well. Baekhyun thought it wouldn’t hurt to take his son out and give him a special treat. “You did so well today, Taehyung, and I’m so proud of you. I’ve decided I want to treat you to something a little special tonight. How does that sound?” 

 

Of course, just hearing the word “treat,” Taehyung’s eyes shined happily. The little boy exclaimed excitedly, “I’d like that!” 

 

“Good. Now does how does ice cream sound?” 

 

“Amazing!” 

 

Baekhyun laughed lightly at how adorable his son looked as the latter clapped for ice cream. It was truly an amazement at how ice cream could instantly cheer up any child. 

 

Looking at the grin plastered on Taehyung’s face, Baekhyun knew he wouldn’t trade that smile for the world. As long as his son was happy, then there was absolutely nothing Baekhyun wanted more in his life. Taehyung’s happiness was his happiness. He’d fight anyone who would even try to wipe the grin off his son’s face. 

 

When Baekhyun and his son finally arrived at the ice cream parlor, he allowed his son to roam around and look wondrously at the various ice cream flavors. Taehyung was amazed at the amount of different flavors, and his mind just wasn’t able to choose which flavor to get. 

 

Baekhyun already knew what he was getting, so he waited as his son continued to choose. Suddenly, a flavor caught his eyes and he pointed at that one. “I like that one, daddy.” 

 

Baekhyun looked at the flavor his son was pointing at and smiled sadly. His son was pointing at the chocolate flavored ice cream, which was his late wife’s favorite flavor. If his son wasn’t there, Baekhyun would’ve probably been drowning himself of memories of Taeyeon, but he had to stay strong for his son. With a slight nod, Baekhyun gave his order to the shop assistant. 

 

They waited as their orders were being scooped up before the shop assistant handed them one large cup of strawberry ice cream and a small cup of chocolate ice cream. Soon enough, they found a table to sit at and immediately began to devour their sweet dessert.

 

Whiling eating, Baekhyun finally asked his son what they did in school. 

 

“We learned how to read and write! Then we did some arts and crafts. One girl in my class forgot to bring markers, so I let her use some of mine! Then we ate lunch, and then we did some math. I don’t really like math, but it’s okay I guess,” Taehyung rambled on. If it was any other person he was talking to, the person would’ve most likely lost track of everything Taehyung said, but Baekhyun made sure to listen to every word his son said, smiling gently at his son because it seemed that Taehyung was really enjoying school. 

 

“I’m glad that you’re having a good time.” 

 

Taehyung grinned as he ate another spoonful of chocolate ice cream, getting a little bit of it over his mouth. Baekhyun laughed softly as he wiped the chocolate away. As he did so, he could only wish that Taehyung would stay this little. He wished that Taehyung would forever stay this age, still so dependent on his father while learning to slowly become independent. Baekhyun didn’t want this memory to fade. Even though the father and son duo were doing something as simple as eating ice cream, Baekhyun wanted memories like these to last. 

 

Baekhyun knew he was being selfish, but was it really that bad to wish for his son to stay this age? Baekhyun only wanted to make more precious memories with his son at this age. 

 

Unfortunately, Baekhyun knew that time would continue to move on, and aging was inevitable. 

 

Time would continue.

 

Things would start to change. 

 

For the better or for the worse?

 

Baekhyun didn’t know. That was up to fate to decide. 


	3. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

 

Time continued on like it always had. 

 

Days passed rather quickly, and eventually weeks gone by, which then lead to months flying through. Though time was moving rather quickly, Baekhyun tried not to let that fact get to him. As each day had passed, he was able to witness his son’s growth. Baekhyun, of course, wasn’t going to take that for granted. To be able to see even the smallest of changes in his son brought him nothing but happiness. 

 

Taehyung was excelling in school, making him one of the brightest and most outgoing kids in class despite being one of the younger kids. Baekhyun honestly couldn’t be anymore prouder of his son. 

 

Other than his son slowly growing up, nothing else in Baekhyun’s life had changed much. Fortunately, he hadn’t heard much about the culprit as of late, which could be either a good or bad thing. Either the culprit had moved on or that the culprit was still lingering around in Seoul before making his next move. Since it had been months since Baekhyun had last heard anything about the man, he slowly forgot that the man had even existed. 

 

With the amount of time that had passed, Baekhyun almost couldn’t believe that his little baby’s sixth birthday was coming up. This was just another proof to him that Taehyung was truly growing up, and he couldn’t do anything to stop that from happening. No matter how much Baekhyun didn’t want his son’s birthday to come up, he knew it would come up eventually. Baekhyun was also determined to make his son’s birthday one of the most memorable days for him. 

 

He was going to plan a birthday party, and Baekhyun hoped it would be one of the best so his son could have a good and memorable birthday that he deserved. 

 

After Baekhyun sent Taehyung to school like usual, he drove to work before he entered the hospital, mind still wondering and planning how to make his son’s birthday party as good as it can be. 

 

“Hey, guys,” Baekhyun greeted his friends as he walked behind the front desk like usual. His friends, of course, greeted him back with a warm smile before Baekhyun decided to seek some advice from them. “Hey… I kind of need help with something.”

 

Jongdae merely widened his eyes. “Wow, Byun Baekhyun is really seeking advice from us? That’s definitely a first!” He laughed while Minseok nudged him in the arm while he rolled his eyes. “What? It’s true!” Jongdae pouted. 

 

Baekhyun also realized that it really was true. This was probably one of his first times asking his friends for some advice. Since Baekhyun liked to be dependent and make decisions for himself, it was rather rare for him to seek much advice from anyone. However, this one time was important for him. It was very important for him to make his child’s birthday the best birthday he could ever have. He even promised himself that he would continue to work hard every year to make his son have the best birthday ever. 

 

Taehyung’s birthday was absolutely everything to Baekhyun, even though it was the day his wife passed away. Baekhyun tried not to let that fact affect his emotions, for he didn’t want his son worrying over him. No matter how much it still hurt Baekhyun to remember the pain he felt the day he lost his wife, Baekhyun knew that that day was still very much a blessing to him. It was the day his son was born, and even though Baekhyun’s heart broke on that day, it was also the day when it slowly began to heal. 

 

Baekhyun may have lost the love of his life that day, but he had also been blessed with another one. His one and only son. Of course, there was absolutely nothing that could stop Baekhyun from making Taehyung’s birthday the best it could ever be, which was why it was absolutely necessary to seek advice from his friends. 

 

Baekhyun sighed and looked pleadingly at his friends. “I’m planning a birthday party for Taehyung since his birthday is coming up this weekend. I just want to know what your guys’ opinion are about what I should do.” 

 

“Well, what have you planned so far?” Minseok asked curiously. 

 

“I made a party reservation at the new bounce house place that opened up just recently. Do you think the kids will like that, though? What if they’re too young? Maybe I should cancel the reservations-”

 

“Whoa, relax there, Baek,” Jongdae interrupted, caressing his friend’s back in an attempt to comfort him before Baekhyun had a panic attack. “I think that’s great! And no, the kids will all be either five or six, right?” 

 

Baekhyun slowly nodded. 

 

“That’s not too young at all. My brother one time brought his two-year-old son to a bouncy house, and they had a lot of fun. But that’s not what matters.”

 

Baekhyun raised a brow at Jongdae, curious as to what he had to say next. 

 

“What matters is the dessert! All kids love sweets, so you better have the best cake ever, Baek,” Jongdae explained casually, getting a snort from Minseok in response. “It’s true!” 

 

“Let me give you  _ real  _ advice, Baekhyun,” Minseok immediately cut Jongdae off before the latter could speak again. “Have you talked to Taehyung about what he’d like at his party?”

 

“Of course. He said he wanted it at that bounce house.” 

 

“Then I think it’s perfect. That’s what your child wants, and I know how much you want Taehyung to be happy.” 

 

Baekhyun sighed tiredly as he rubbed his forehead in frustration. Was it really that hard to plan a birthday party for a six-year-old? Was he trying too hard? No. He couldn’t think like that. Taehyung was his only child. Baekhyun would give Taehyung the world if he asked for it. 

 

Baekhyun wasn’t given enough time to think more about how he should plan his son’s birthday party before he received an incoming call. He looked at his phone, frowning when he saw the caller ID. 

 

“Hello?” Baekhyun immediately picked up, heart pounding in his chest when he heard the speaker on the phone. “I see…”

 

Jongdae and Minseok shared a look of concern when they saw the creases on Baekhyun’s forehead increase. 

 

“O-Okay… I’ll see what I can do. Goodbye,” Baekhyun said over the phone before hanging up, letting out an irritated sigh. “Damn it,” he silently cursed. 

 

“Who was that?” Jongdae questioned cautiously, not wanting to force his friend to tell him what happened.

 

“My mom,” Baekhyun answered after a few seconds. “He said that my dad’s in the hospital. She didn’t really explain why, but I’m guessing it had something to do with his cardiac system.” 

 

“And?”

 

“She said I should visit him over the weekend.”

 

Jongdae widened his eyes. “But Taehyung’s birthday is also this weekend, and doesn’t your parents live in Bucheon?”

 

“They do,” Baekhyun exclaimed annoyingly as he tiredly rubbed his face. “What should I do? I love my dad, and I really want to visit him if anything happens, but what about Taehyung?”

 

Jongdae stayed silent for once, unable to help his friend choose between his father or son. This forced Minseok to take action as he patted Baekhyun on the back. “I think what you should do is visit your father.” 

 

“But what about Taehyung?” Baekhyun looked up at his friend in disbelief. 

 

“Look at it this way,” Minseok continued. “Your father is in the hospital, and anything can happen while he’s there. I think you should visit him just in case anything happens. However, in Taehyung’s case, Jongdae and I can help out with his party. We’ll make it so much fun for him that he won’t even remember that you’re not there.” 

 

Baekhyun rolled his eyes, but he nonetheless chuckled, feeling slightly relieved that he had such great friends who’d do anything to help him out. “I’m not going to turn down your offer because I’ll have to think about it. I’m going to have to talk about it with Taehyung tonight.”

 

“Yeah, you do that,” Minseok smiled genuinely at his friend. “And just remember that we’ll always be here for you when you need it.”

 

“Thank you guys. I really appreciate it.”

 

* * *

 

It was close to Taehyung’s bedtime when Baekhyun finally decided he had to discuss his situation to the young boy. 

 

The father had put off the discussion ever since he picked up his son from school. Baekhyun admitted he was afraid -terrified even- of what could be his son’s reaction. Baekhyun felt like he was going to disappoint his son if he told him he couldn’t make it to his birthday party. Dread was already pooling in the bottom of his stomach when he finally said to his that they needed to talk. Baekhyun would do anything for his son, but disappointing him was definitely not on the list. 

 

When Taehyung had looked up at him, Baekhyun felt his heart clench painfully in his chest. He hated having to break the news to Taehyung, but he had no choice. His son deserved to know the truth. With a lot of effort, Baekhyun decided to lie down next to Taehyung on his bed. 

 

“Tae-Tae,” Baekhyun started, letting out a shaky sigh when his son hummed, indicating that he was listening to his father. “Your grandfather… isn’t doing so well.” 

 

Taehyung widened his eyes, clearly shocked. The last time he saw Baekhyun’s father was a few months ago when the elderly man apparently seemed very healthy. Hearing that his grandfather wasn’t doing well probably shocked Taehyung more than Baekhyun thought it would. 

 

“I was told today that he wasn’t doing very well. I think I have to visit him this weekend,” Baekhyun said softly, waiting anticipatingly for his son’s reaction, heart still racing as his couldn’t calm his nerves down. 

 

“I think you should visit him!” Taehyung claimed without hesitation. 

 

“But… your birthday is this weekend. I’m going to miss your sixth birthday,” Baekhyun spoke softly, not believing that his son understood the situation that well. 

 

“That’s okay! You can be there for my seventh birthday.” 

 

Baekhyun almost wanted to cry from hearing his son’s words. If he had to choose one time when he greatly appreciated his son’s deep understanding, then he probably had to choose this one. He couldn’t believe his own son was telling him to choose his grandfather over him. 

 

“T-Taehyung, are you sure? If I do choose to see your grandfather over the weekend, I don’t want you to think that I love you any less. The both of you are so important in my life.”

 

The little boy only nodded, a large smile plastered on his face. “I’ll be okay, daddy! But after you come back, can we go out to eat ice cream again?” 

 

“Of course, baby. Of course, anything for you,” Baekhyun immediately responded, laughing happily when Taehyung jumped into his chest and gave him a large embrace. 

 

“I love you, daddy.” 

 

“I love you too. I love you so much, Tae-Tae.” 

 

There was a lingering silence in the room, and Baekhyun thought his son was asleep when he tried to remove the little boy off his chest to get him into a more comfortable position. However, as he tried to move his son, Taehyung only snuggled closer to his father, mumbling softly, “Daddy?”

 

“Hm?” 

 

“Can I sleep with you tonight?” 

 

“Of course you can.” Baekhyun allowed his arms to relax over his son’s body as he held him. He pulled the covers up and hoped that this was comfortable enough for his son. Before he went to sleep, Baekhyun took one last look at his son, wondering how he could be so lucky to have such a precious gem. Baekhyun smiled softly to himself before he placed a gentle kiss over Taehyung’s forehead and then shut off the lights. “Goodnight, Tae-Tae. Sweet dreams.”

 

_ I love you, my precious son. _

 

* * *

 

Baekhyun knew he was probably overreacting at the moment, but who could blame him? He was going to leave his son in his best friend’s house for two nights, which was something he had never done. Sure, there was probably one time when Baekhyun had no choice but to leave his son at Minseok’s and Jongdae’s apartment, but that was for one night. Now, he had no choice but to leave him there for two nights. 

 

Baekhyun was already starting to regret his decisions. “Maybe I can come home earlier on Saturday… Wait, maybe I should just call mom and tell her I can’t go. Actually-”

 

“Baek!” Jongdae butted in before his friend could ramble on any longer, unable to see his friend worry for that much longer. “ _ Relax. _ He’ll be fine here. Besides, we’re his godfathers, so you can trust us to take care of him.”

 

Baekhyun sighed. “It’s not that… It’s just that I don’t want to miss his birth-”

 

“Okay, that’s a lie, Baek, and you know it. You’re just scared of leaving him alone here,” Jongdae smirked when he saw that Baekhyun was about to protest but couldn’t. “Exactly. Now go worry about your father. Taehyung will be fine here. Will you, Tae?” Jongdae looked down at the little boy and smiled when he was given a nod in response. “See?” 

 

Baekhyun sighed before he kneeled down, wanting to talk to his son on an eye-level. “Daddy trusts that you that you’ll behave, okay? I’ll be back on Sunday morning, and then we can go get ice cream, okay?” 

 

“Am I invited?” Jongdae interrupted, chuckling lightly when Baekhyun glared up at him. 

 

“Anyway… Tae-Tae, I hope you have the best birthday ever. Daddy loves you so much.” 

 

“I love you too, daddy.”

 

Baekhyun opened up his arms, allowing Taehyung to hug him once more before he leaves. 

 

They hugged for a while before Baekhyun finally decided it was time to leave. Reluctantly, he let go of his son before he waved goodbye to Taehyung and Jongdae. Since Minseok had a Friday shift at the hospital, he was unable to see Baekhyun before the latter left. However, Baekhyun still made sure to text Minseok his gratitude for helping him take care of his son for the weekend. 

 

Baekhyun continued to wave goodbye until he got into the car. Getting into the car, he sent his son a flying kiss before driving off. 

 

_ I’ll see you soon, Tae-Tae. _

 

* * *

 

The minute it turned twelve o’clock, Baekhyun began to dial a number onto his phone before he waited for the person on the other line to pick up. 

 

_ Come on, come on… _

 

Soon enough, the person on the other line eventually picked up.  _ “Hello?”  _ Jongdae said tiredly over the phone.  _ “Baek? Is that you?” _

 

“Yeah, it’s me,” Baekhyun replied, feeling slightly guilty for calling his friend at such a late hour, but this phone call was absolutely necessary for him. “Sorry I’m calling at this hour, but I just want to check in on you. And how’s Taehyung?” 

 

“ _ Baek,”  _ Jongdae exasperatedly sighed.  _ “You’ve got to relax. He’s perfectly fine and is sleeping very peacefully right now.” _

 

“Oh.” Baekhyun felt relieved, but he was a little upset since the main reason for the phone call was for him to wish his son a happy birthday. He wanted to be the first to say it as a compensation for not being there for his birthday. “I see. Then can you wish him a happy birthday on my behalf, please?” 

 

_ “Of course, Baek. I’ll let him know in the morning, and I can call you in the afternoon or something.”  _

 

Baekhyun sighed. “It’s ok, you don’t have to. I’m going to be busy for the rest of the day, so I probably won’t have the chance to look at my phone.” 

 

_ “That’s fine,”  _ Jongdae answered.  _ “As long as he knows that you remembered his birthday, you and I both know he’ll be very happy.”  _

 

Baekhyun smiled despite knowing that Jongdae wouldn’t be able to see it. Jongdae’s statement was anything but false. Taehyung was just too nice to hold any grudges, and he certainly would be more than happy knowing that his father still remembered his birthday. “Don’t forget to tell him that I love him.”

 

Jongdae merely chuckled.  _ “I wouldn’t dream of it.” _

 

“Good.” 

 

With Baekhyun’s heart feeling a little bit more at ease, he finally decided to hang up, but not before he wished Jongdae goodnight and showed his gratitude for taking care of his son. Of course, Jongdae said he didn’t mind and that Taehyung was being an absolute angel. Indeed, that sure sounded like his son. 

 

Knowing that his son was being well taken care of, Baekhyun was finally able to get some sleep. He knew he would need it because he would have to visit his father in the hospital in the morning. It was surely going to be a long, long day.

 

* * *

 

It was late Saturday night when Baekhyun finally returned to his parent’s house with his mother. He and his mother had just eaten out after both of them took care of Baekhyun’s father for the whole day. Surely enough, it was exhausting, but it was worth it because he was able to see his father again and be with his family. 

  
It had been so long since he and his parents have seen each other. It wasn’t because Baekhyun had a bad relationship with them. No. It was, in fact, the opposite. He actually had a great relationship with his parents. Unfortunately, his parents constantly had to work because they recently opened a new restaurant. Because managing a restaurant was no easy task, it was hard for Mr. Byun and his wife to visit their son. Not only that, but because Baekhyun lived in Seoul and already had a job there and a son, it only made it even harder for him to visit his parents. 

 

However, just because they couldn’t see each other that much, Mr. Byun and his wife would still make an effort to portray their love to their son by sending him some money once in a while. No matter how many times Baekhyun protested, saying that he didn’t need the extra money, his parents never listened. They’d continue to send money to him, and they would always send in a gift to their grandson. Baekhyun had always been appreciative of his family, so finally being able to see them again brought nothing but happiness to him. 

 

As Baekhyun and his mother stepped into the house, his mother immediately offered to make him some tea, and Baekhyun knew he couldn’t decline because his mother would make it anyway. 

 

When they walked into the kitchen, Baekhyun allowed himself to sit at the table as his mother began making some tea. While his mother prepared the beverage, Baekhyun decided to check his phone, cursing when he saw that it had run out of battery. Quickly plugging the phone into his charger, Baekhyun waited with anticipation as his phone began to charge.

 

While he waited for his phone to turn on again, his mother had already finished making the tea and placed the hot beverage on the table as she herself sat across from Baekhyun. Smiling gently at her son, she then began to speak after taking a sip of tea. “Isn’t it Taehyung’s birthday today?” 

 

Baekhyun quickly nodded, still feeling guilty that he couldn’t be there for his son’s birthday. He could only hope that he had fun at his birthday party and that Minseok and Jongdae were treating him well. 

 

“I know it was hard for you to come here, but your father and I really can’t express how much we appreciate it,” Mrs. Byun said as she held her son’s hands. “Thank you, really.” 

 

“Of course, mom. Although it hurt me to leave Taehyung on his birthday, I’m glad I was able to see you and dad again.” 

 

Mrs. Byun smiled again before she seemed to have remembered something. She suddenly got up from her chair and told her son to wait downstairs while she went upstairs. Baekhyun waited for a few minutes before his mother quickly rushed back downstairs and she came into the kitchen with something in her hands. Baekhyun could only wonder what his mother was holding before she handed the item to him. 

 

“What is it?” he asked curiously, peeking into the bag. 

 

“Taehyung’s birthday present. I’d be an awful grandparent if I didn’t give my favorite grandchild a present for his birthday.” 

 

“Oh… mom,” Baekhyun felt himself tearing up as he took out what was in the bag and saw that it was a beautifully knitted scarf. Along came with it was a matching set of gloves and a hat. Baekhyun gently ran his hands along the set of accessories, feeling the tight stitches, and he couldn’t imagine how long it took his mother to make everything. “It’s absolutely gorgeous.” 

 

“Thank you.” She smiled graciously. “Since little Tae-Tae’s birthday is close to winter time, I thought I’d give him some warm, new accessories. This shall keep him warm for the winter. I don’t want him catching a cold.” 

 

“It’s perfect. I’m sure Taehyung would love this, mom.” 

 

“I hope so.” 

 

Baekhyun got up from his seat and went up to his mother before he gave her a kiss on the cheek. “Thank you.” 

 

When Baekhyun was on his back to go back to his seat, he saw that his phone was finally turned on. However, what surprised him was the amount of notifications he was receiving. Thinking that it was probably just Jongdae sending him pictures from the party, Baekhyun was excited to look at his phone. 

 

The minute Baekhyun looked at the notifications, he felt his world come crashing down upon him. 

 

_ From Jongdae: _

 

_             Baekhyun, I’m so sorry. I’m so so so so so sorry. Taehyung’s in the hospital.  _


	4. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

 

Baekhyun was gasping. He felt like he was running out of breath, felt like something was choking him, and he couldn’t breath. The young man hadn’t even thought to look down and see that he was choking himself. His very own hands were wrapped around his neck. Baekhyun wanted to wail, wanted to scream, but most of all, he wanted to  _ die.  _

 

_ The minute Baekhyun looked at the notifications, he felt his world come crashing down upon him.  _

 

_ From Jongdae: _

 

_ Baekhyun, I’m so sorry. I’m so so so so so sorry. Taehyung’s in the hospital.  _

 

_ When Baekhyun looked at the message, he was laughing hysterically. He paid no heed to his mother who sent him a worried glance. He only continued to look at the message that his friend had sent him. It must have been some kind of joke. Jongdae probably just wanted him to call him, but Baekhyun wasn’t replying so he sent him this message. There was no way Baekhyun would believe in this bullshit.  _

 

_ No way.  _

 

_ Baekhyun eventually decided to call Jongdae to make sure everything was okay. A part of Baekhyun wanted so desperately to believe that Jongdae was joking, but he couldn’t stop the other half of him who thought otherwise. Baekhyun kept his hopes up, though, as he waited for Jongdae to answer his call.  _

 

_ Soon enough, Jongdae picked up the phone. Baekhyun was about to ask him if everything was okay before he heard a cry over the phone, and that was all that Baekhyun needed to know. It was all that he needed to know that everything was certainly not okay.  _

 

_ “Baekhyun, it’s all my fault! It’s all my fault. This is all my fault. I’m so sorry. I’m sorry. Baekhyun, I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m so, so, so sorry.” Jongdae was practically panting over the phone, and Baekhyun didn’t even have the strength to talk, afraid that he’d break down because just hearing the frightened tone in Jongdae’s voice told him that everything was definitely, certainly not okay. “I-I… Taehyung’s in the hospital. I-I tried c-calling y-you… But you didn’t p-pick up. H-He’s i-in… a c-coma. I’m sorry, I’m sorry. God, please, Baekhyun just say some-” _

 

_ Baekhyun hung up, feeling his hands begin to shake. His mother’s eyes widened when she watched her son get up from his seat only to come crash down, legs completely collapsing.  _

 

_ “Oh my God, Baekhyun!” she screamed with terror. “Son, what happened?!”  _

 

_ “T-Tae…”  _

 

_ “What happened?!”  _

 

_ “H-Hospital.” _

 

_ Mrs. Byun instantly gasped, covering her mouth with her hand as tears began to pool in her eyes. “Baekhyun, you have to go. G-Go to Taehyung… m-make sure he is okay.”  _

 

_ “M-Mom… I don’t think he is-” _

 

_ “NO! You don’t know unless you see him. That’s why you have to go. Go, Baekhyun. You have to go!” She cried, wondering how his son still wasn’t crying. This was his baby, his only child, his only son. “Just please tell me he’s okay when you see him, okay? Promise me?”  _

 

_ Baekhyun didn’t say a word as his mother helped him up from the floor. He felt like he was going to collapse again if his mother wasn’t holding onto him.  _

 

_ Baekhyun felt his mother shove his keys and the birthday bag into his hands.  _

 

_ “Just promise me he’ll be okay. Okay?”  _

 

_ Baekhyun wasn’t sure if he could promise his mother anything.  _

 

_ The drive back home felt like days when it only took a few hours despite breaking a few traffic laws. The drive was anything but calm for Baekhyun. The entire drive felt like torture to Baekhyun. He refused to stop thinking about what could’ve happened. A part of him still had a tinge of hope, thinking that maybe Taehyung had just gotten into a little accident and had to get stitches. However, he couldn’t get Jongdae’s voice out of his head when he called the young man. Baekhyun remembered Jongdae’s voice, and he remembered how terrified Jongdae sounded. It sounded more serious than just a few stitches.  _

 

_ As the thoughts continued to swarm in his head, the pain blooming in his chest was becoming more and more intolerable. Baekhyun knew that this wouldn’t end well. His heart begged and pleaded for him to believe otherwise, but his mind knew he shouldn’t keep his hopes up. He learned he should never have his hopes up in situations like this. The last time he had such high hopes was when he believed that Taeyeon and his son would both be alive, and look where that got him.  _

 

_ But this was Taehyung. This was his baby, his miracle baby that he promised to protect, and Baekhyun failed. He failed as a father and a husband.  _

 

_ “Fuck…” Baekhyun cried desperately, the tears in his eyes making his vision blurry. He knew it was dangerous to drive like this, but he didn’t care. All he could think about was his son, his baby. “Please… please…. Please. Anything but my son. Anything.”  _

 

_ It was way past midnight when Baekhyun finally arrived at the hospital. Jongdae had messaged him that they sent Taehyung here, so here the young man was. He stared at the hospital in front of him. All of a sudden, he despised what he was looking at, despite it was the place where he worked, despite it being the place where it was supposed to save people. Baekhyun chuckled bitterly.  _

 

_ Taeyeon wasn’t saved here. She died here. _

 

_ Baekhyun’s bitter chuckle turned into a soft whimper before he couldn’t keep his sobs to himself anymore. He finally let one tear drop, and as soon as the one tear dropped, the others followed. “Baby, please be okay.”  _

  
  
  


_ Baekhyun eventually forced himself to step out of the car and into the hospital. He felt like his legs would collapse onto him, but he knew he couldn’t stop here. No. Not until he at least saw his baby and knew that he would be okay.  _

 

_ One step.  _

 

_ Two steps. _

 

_ Three steps.  _

 

_ Baekhyun had to force his body to move, to at least get into the damn hospital. When he stepped in, he could’ve sworn he received confused looks from his coworkers, wondering why he was there when it wasn’t even his shift. Baekhyun also wanted to ask that question. This wasn’t where he should be. He should be at home with his son, reading a story to him or humming him to sleep.  _

 

_ So then why? Why was he at this DAMN hospital?!  _

 

_ Baekhyun took the elevator to get to his son’s room. Dread began to rush through his veins as the elevator went higher and higher. Jongdae had also messaged him where the room was, so Baekhyun knew where they were.  _

 

_ Ding!  _

 

_ Baekhyun was startled when the elevator doors opened, revealing a white, dull hallway. When he stepped out, he didn’t expect to see Jongdae waiting by the elevator door.  _

 

_ As soon as they met each others’ eyes, Baekhyun instantly noticed the redness and tiredness in Jongdae’s eyes. That’s when Baekhyun knew. He knew it was all over. Immediately, he felt his friend hold onto him. It seemed as if Jongdae already knew he’d eventually collapse, just like his world.  _

 

_ “My baby… oh, God… my baby,” Baekhyun wailed out loud.  _

 

Baekhyun was gasping. He felt like he was running out of breath, felt like something was choking him, and he couldn’t breath. The young man hadn’t even thought to look down and see that he was choking himself. His very own hands were wrapped around his neck. Baekhyun wanted to wail, wanted to scream, but most of all, he wanted to  _ die. _

 

“Baekhyun, stop! Please, you’re hurting yourself!” Jongdae pried his friend’s hands away from his neck when he immediately noticed what Baekhyun was doing to himself. 

 

“Taehyung… What happened?! What happened to my baby?! Jongdae, please tell me he’s okay. Please, just tell me that. Please, please, please…” Baekhyun begged, tears streaming down his cheeks. 

 

“I don’t know,” Jongdae answered truthfully. “H-He… just disappeared somehow. When we went to find him… S-Someone m-must’ve s-shot-”

 

“No. D-Don’t say it. NO! Please…” Baekhyun screamed, paying no heed to the people who were passing by them. He just found out that his child was shot. His baby… hit by a bullet. That just couldn’t be. They promised they were going to see each other again. Baekhyun didn’t think this was how he was going to see his baby again. Never in his entire life did he think that this was what would happen. 

 

“He’s in a coma,” Jongdae finally said, having no choice but to break the news to his best friend. “The doctors said… he has less than 10% of surviving. But even if he does survive, he’ll probably be in a vegetative state, since he received a lot of brain damage.” 

 

“God…” Baekhyun choked out. “Oh… God. Tae-Tae, I’m so sorry. I’m so damn sorry.” 

 

“Do… Do you want to see him?”

Baekhyun had to ask himself if he was ready to see exactly what state his child was in. No matter how much he wanted to say no, he knew he couldn’t. Although he was afraid to see what his son would look like, he knew in his heart that this may be the last time he would get to say goodbye. 

 

“Let me see him.” 

 

Jongdae nodded, holding his friend up as he lead him to Taehyung’s room. The door was closed, and Baekhyun was almost afraid to open it. He appreciated his friend for opening the door for him. The first person he saw in there was Minseok, who was crying silently to himself. The moment Minseok looked up only to see Baekhyun, the shorter male cried even more. “B-Baekhyun… W-We’re so sorry.” 

 

Baekhyun couldn’t even hear what his friend was saying as his eyes laid itself onto the figure on the bed. It was Taehyung, but… it wasn’t. “T-That’s not him. That’s not my son.” 

 

“Baekhyun-” Minseok tried to say but was cut off by Baekhyun who cried out. 

 

“THAT’S NOT HIM! T-Tell me… where’s my Tae-Tae? H-He’s at home, right? Did he sleep well? Did he eat well? How was his birthday?” Baekhyun questioned as he walked closer to the bed, getting a better view of the person in the bed, surrounded by machines and tubes. 

 

“T-That i-is your son, Baekhyun,” Minseok whispered softly before Jongdae shook his head at him, indicating that he shouldn’t remind their friend about the truth. 

 

“Baby, remember when we promised each other that when I come back, we’ll get ice cream together? You just have to open your eyes, okay? Just open them, and we can go right away, hm?” 

 

There was no response, of course. Only the sounds of multiple machines beeping constantly. Taehyung would always respond rather quickly to him. Then why was it that this time it wasn’t the case? Why? 

 

_ Why? _

 

_ Why?! _

 

_ WHY?! _

 

Baekhyun sobbed, feeling like the air in his lungs had been sucked out of him as he held onto the child’s hand, feeling how cold it was. But this hand felt so soft and familiar, and Baekhyun wished it didn’t feel this way because it only showed him that this was reality. This really was his son. 

 

“TAEHYUNG!” Baekhyun screamed out, feeling like he was suddenly going to collapse once again. His little angel wasn’t supposed to be here. Taehyung should be at home in bed cuddling with his father. 

 

But reality slapped him hard in the face. This was his son right here in the hospital. Baekhyun wanted to do nothing except be with his only son. And he planned to do just that as he finally sat down on a chair, watching the peaceful look on Taehyung’s face. 

 

“Daddy’s right here, and he won’t be leaving any soon.” 

 

* * *

 

_ “Come here, Tae-Tae. Come to mommy.”  _

 

Baekhyun suddenly opened his eyes as he shot upright from his bed. 

 

One month.

 

It had been one month since Taehyung’s accident, and his son had yet to be woken up from his coma. Baekhyun was, however, given the offer to keep his son on life support, or he could end it. But Baekhyun wanted to wait. He couldn’t let go. Not yet, at least. He didn’t want to give up, and hoped Taehyung hadn’t given up yet either. 

 

When Baekhyun was given the offer, his mind instantly brought him back to the time when it took weeks for his son to open his eyes and look at him. It took even more weeks for Taehyung to finally show that his conditions were improving. Baekhyun believed that this could still be the case. Taehyung had been a fighter when he was a baby, and he was still fighter even now. 

 

Unfortunately, deep down inside of Baekhyun’s heart, he knew that it was impossible. Every time he went to visit his son in the hospital, his conditions either worsened or it stayed the same. There was no improvement. Time was running out, and Baekhyun knew it. 

 

Ever since he tried to sleep after seeing his son in the hospital in that condition, he’d have nightmares every night. Well, it really couldn’t be considered a nightmare. It was more like a whisper. Every night, he’d hear his wife’s soft and soothing voice. Baekhyun knew it was her because he made sure to memorize his wife’s voice before she passed away. 

 

Every night, she’d be whispering, telling Taehyung, their son, to come to her. 

 

Baekhyun wasn’t sure how he could be hearing this in the first place, but he knew it was definitely his wife. And he soon realized that his wife was trying to take their son away from him. Baekhyun laughed bitterly to himself. Was this punishment for him for being unable to protect their son? 

 

“God… Taeyeon, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I couldn’t protect our son, but please… please don’t take him away. Just… not yet.” 

 

He needed two more days

 

He wanted two more days because by then it would be Christmas. If Taehyung would not wake up by then, then Baekhyun knew that it would be time to let go, and he’d accept that no matter how harsh the truth was. 

 

Just two more days. 

 

_ I miss my son, Baekhyun.  _

 

“I know, Tae.” 

 

_ You said you would protect him.  _

 

Baekhyun cried once again. “I know!” He covered his ears, hoping he’d stop hearing voices from his voice. 

 

_ You failed me and our son. _

 

“SHUT UP!” 

 

_ Two days. You get two days.  _

 

And then it was silent. 

 

Baekhyun continued to cry as he let out soft whimpers. He was already feeling more than guilty. He didn’t need his deceased wife to make him feel more guilty. 

 

Not wanting to feel even more guilty, Baekhyun slowly got up from bed. He needed to get himself together. Two days. He had two more days left. There was absolutely no time to waste. Without hesitation, he walked into the bathroom and got himself ready. 

 

However, just before he entered the bathroom, he suddenly stopped as his eyes automatically landed on a picture of his wife. Usually, the picture would’ve brought comfort to him, but this time it didn’t. Lately, the picture merely seemed to haunt him. Without another second to think, Baekhyun placed the picture down. 

 

For once, he didn’t want to see Taeyeon. 

 

* * *

 

Baekhyun had stopped thinking. He stopped thinking the moment he went to a bakery, bought a cake, and went to the hospital. Now that he was in the hospital, mind finally clearing up a little, Baekhyun couldn’t help the tears from flowing down his cheeks once again. 

 

Baekhyun had bought a chocolate cake at the bakery, remembering that chocolate was his son’s favorite flavor. Now that he was in the hospital, looking at his son who seemed so at peace, Baekhyun realized that he had no one left now. His wife was gone, and his son would soon be gone as well. 

 

There was no one to share the cake with. 

 

Everything that he once loved was gone, and Baekhyun just simply wanted to disappear along with them. The thought had been lingering in his mind for a while now. Before it had just been a suggestion made by his mind a while ago. Now, it wasn’t a mere suggestion. It was what his heart wanted. If there was nothing left in this world for him, then there was no reason for him to live. 

 

Baekhyun wanted it all to end. In two days, he’d do it. He’d follow his son. A bitter smile appeared on his face. 

 

_ So this is how it’ll end.  _

 

_ I’m sorry.  _

 

While Baekhyun smiled sadly at his son, the door suddenly opened. The young man didn’t even have to look up to know it was Jongdae and Minseok. They, along with Baekhyun, had also been visiting Taehyung everyday. Not only that, but they had accompanied their friend to watch over the little boy. Jongdae and Minseok knew more than anyone else that in this point of Baekhyun’s life, it was definitely not safe to leave him alone. Thus, they had decided upon themselves that they would make sure Baekhyun wouldn’t do anything stupid. 

 

“Baekhyun, did you eat yet?” Minseok asked softly as he sat down on a chair next to his friend. 

 

The latter didn’t respond, deciding to only shake his head. 

 

Jongdae sighed. “Baekhyun, you have to eat.” 

 

“Why, Jongdae?” Baekhyun seethed, eyes finally looking up at his friend. “Don’t you get it? I’m done.” 

 

“What do you mean by that?!” 

 

“I’m finished.” 

 

“Baekhyun… you don’t really mean that.” 

 

“I do, and you guys can’t stop me from thinking this way. I have  _ fucking _ nothing left. My wife is dead. My son will soon be dead. Tell me, what do I have to live for? It would just be so much better if I just… if I just died-”

 

“SHUT UP!” Jongdae screamed, startling both men in the room. In all of the years that Baekhyun and Minseok had been friends with Jongdae, never had they seen him raise his voice like. “Shut the fuck up, Baekhyun. Don’t you dare talk like that. Your life is so damn precious. You’re a nurse here in this hospital. You’ve saved and helped so many people. Your life is precious to me and Minseok. We loved Taehyung just as much as you do. How do you think we felt when  _ we _ were the ones who found him like that? If you’re gone… then… I’ll go with you!” 

 

“Jongdae…” Baekhyun whispered, eyes widening and glistening with tears. He couldn’t believe that he had been neglecting the two people who had helped him so much in the past few years. Even though Taehyung had been under their care, Baekhyun couldn’t blame them for what happened. He knew that neither of his two friends could ever have the intention to hurt their friend. It was simply an accident caused by some psychotic man.

 

Jongdae and Minseok didn’t even have to visit Taehyung everyday, but they did. Every single day, they’d ask Baekhyun if he ate, if he slept well, and if he needed a break and that they could watch over Taehyung for a bit. Baekhyun felt awful for neglecting his friends because deep down inside, he knew the ones who felt the most guilty was them. 

 

“I’m sorry. I-I’ll… try my best not to think like that.” 

 

Jongdae didn’t even respond as he walked over to his friend and opened his arms before engulfing his friend in them. 

 

At that moment, Baekhyun knew he wasn’t truly alone, but the pain still lingered in his heart, and Baekhyun wasn’t sure if there was anyone who could mend it this time. Not even Jongdae or Minseok. 

 

As Jongdae hugged his friend while the latter began to sob in his chest, Baekhyun knew it. 

 

It was time. 

 

It was time to let go. 

 

He’d do it. He’d have to live life without his son and wife. Maybe… just maybe if he tried hard enough, it wouldn’t be as bad as he thought it’d be. 

 

* * *

 

_ My little Tae-Tae, my dearest son, you were everything I could have asked for. You were my angel, my miracle, and my everything. Not a day will go by when I won’t think of you. This was never supposed to happen. I should have been there for you. I should have been a better father for you. I have failed you, and I will forever regret it.  _

 

_ Taehyung…  _

 

Baekhyun silently wept as he watched the little casket being lowered into the ground. 

 

_ I’m so sorry.  _

 

It lowered inch by inch, and everytime it lowered, Baekhyun felt his heart cracking.

 

_ I will miss you so much. _

 

Baekhyun felt his body become numb when the casket was finally underneath the ground. 

 

_ You will forever be my little angel.  _

 

His hands began to shake as people around him threw their flowers into the hole. 

 

_ Taehyung, when you see your mother again, tell her I apologize.  _

 

Baekhyun walked up to the hole, vision becoming blurry as he held the flower above the casket. 

 

_ I apologize for failing you and her.  _

 

Gently, Baekhyun let go of the flower. 

 

_ You deserved so much more than this.  _

 

As the flower slowly fell to the top of the casket, so did Baekhyun’s world.

 

_ I love you, baby. I love you so damn much.  _

 

Soon enough, the flower laid upon the casket. Baekhyun just wanted so badly to bury himself along with his son. He wanted so badly to just hold his son one more time. 

 

Just one more time. 

 

He reached down, but it was too late. 

 

Dirt began to cover up the casket, and there was nothing he could do about it. 

 

Baekhyun sobbed until he couldn’t see the casket anymore. Tears streamed down as face as his friends held him, trying their best to comfort him, but it was futile. Baekhyun’s heart was broken, and there was no possible way it could ever be mended again. 

 

Time seemed to have stop. 

 

Baekhyun felt like the pulse within him had stopped. He had no conscious of his surroundings. Baekhyun merely stood standing, not even noticing that the sun had already set, and many of the people who went to his son’s funeral had already left. 

 

It was only him, Jongdae, Minseok, and his son and wife left. 

 

Baekhyun didn’t stop staring at the hole that had finally been covered up, knowing that his son was underneath the ground next to his mother. 

 

The tears had stopped, but that didn’t mean his heart didn’t stop breaking. 

 

“Baekhyun… I-I think we should leave now. It’s getting late. We can always come tomorrow,” Jongdae said to his friend, hoping he’d get a response, but his hopes were merely crushed when Baekhyun had yet to say a word. 

 

It took Jongdae and Minseok a few minutes to finally decide that Baekhyun wasn’t going to say anything, so instead they opted to drag him away. Baekhyun didn’t protest, however, his eyes still staring lifelessly ahead. 

 

As the three of them all settled into the car, Baekhyun decided it was time to talk. “Can you guys drop me off at the ice cream parlor?” 

 

“Okay…” Minseok said cautiously. “Do you want us to come in with you?” 

 

“No,” Baekhyun answered plainly. “Just drop me off there.” 

 

Minseok didn’t argue as he drove to the ice cream parlor. As soon as he got there, Baekhyun muttered a soft “thanks” before getting out of the car. He watched Minseok drive off before entering the ice cream parlor. 

 

Baekhyun didn’t even have to look at the ice cream flavors because he already knew what he was getting. “May I have one large cup of strawberry ice cream?” 

 

“Sure! Anything else?” the shop assistant asked cheerfully, oblivious to the sadness in Baekhyun’s voice as he spoke. 

 

“Yes… a small cup of chocolate ice cream, please.” 

 

“Of course. Coming right up!” 

 

As the shop assistant handed him the two cups, Baekhyun quickly paid before taking the two cups and finding a place to sit. He found a table in the corner and placed the two cups of ice cream down before he sat down on the chair.

 

Baekhyun then looked across him.  

 

His heart shattered once again. 

 

Without holding back, Baekhyun allowed his tears to once again flow down his cheeks like an unbroken stream as he continued to stare at the empty seat across from him. Taehyung should’ve been sitting in that seat right now. The little boy should’ve been happily eating his ice cream, but instead, the ice cream just stood there, slowly melting away. 

 

Baekhyun covered his face with with his hands as he sobbed into them, hoping that no one would notice how broken he felt. But this loneliness that lingered in his heart was becoming unbearable, and it hurt. It fucking  _ hurt _ so much that Baekhyun just wanted to scream, to let it all out. 

 

How could someone just take away his son from him? How could someone be so damn cruel? Taehyung was his precious gem, his baby that had been so easily snatched away from his hands. Baekhyun, at this point, didn’t know what to feel. Was he supposed to feel anger? Sadness? Disappointed? Baekhyun didn’t know, but he definitely knew that he was feeling a plethora of emotions at that moment. 

 

The strawberry ice cream was slowly melting, but Baekhyun paid no heed. He only looked at the other cup of ice cream across from him, noticing that the ice cream had already melted. The person who was supposed to eat it wasn’t there to eat it. 

 

The pain in his chest was becoming more and more intolerable. It was as if he was the one who was getting shot because it just  _ hurt.  _ Baekhyun just wanted the pain to go away. He wanted it to end. 

 

Getting up, Baekhyun took the cup of chocolate ice cream in his hands. He was going to throw it onto the floor, never wanting to see this damn flavor ever again. He was so close to doing it if it wasn’t for the shop assistant who walked up to him. 

 

“Sir, closing time is in five minutes.” She looked down at the melted ice cream in the cup. “Oh… I see you haven’t finished your ice cream. We can give you an extra five minutes to finish it. Just please hurry up-”

 

“No need.” Baekhyun shook his head. “I’m done,” he said the last word softly to himself.  

 

“Oh… okay,” she said quietly. 

 

Without another word, Baekhyun left a tip on the table before he walked out, cursing when he noticed it was snowing. 

 

_ Taehyung always loved the snow.  _ Baekhyun thought as he remembered the times he and his son would always play outside in the snow during the winter. It was a special memory that Baekhyun would always cherish because it was the first time Baekhyun had a real smile on his face in a long time after his wife died. It was the first time he laughed so hard with his son. However, most importantly, it was the first time that Baekhyun was able to  _ forget _ about the past and live in the moment. 

 

Baekhyun walked mindlessly as these memories were brought up. Having no particular destination in mind, he simply walked away, not caring if he wasn’t wearing a coat despite the freezing weather. Baekhyun liked it this way, anyway. It helped numb the pain for a bit. 

 

Baekhyun merely walked and walked and walked. He looked down at his feet as he did so, not wanting to look up because he wasn’t even sure where he was heading off to. The young man only stopped when he saw that there was something in front of him. He then looked up, shocked to see that it was a gate to the school that his son went to. 

 

Looking at the school, Baekhyun smiled sadly, remembering his son’s first day of school. 

 

_ “Hello my little angel,” Baekhyun chuckled at how cute his son looked at the moment. It was obvious that Taehyung was still sleepy, but he didn’t close his eyes. “Do you remember what today is?”  _

 

_ Taehyung stared mindlessly at his father for a second before shooting his eyes wide open and letting out a huge grin. “It’s my first day of school, daddy!”  _

 

_ “That’s right, baby. Are you excited?” _

 

_ Taehyung nodded happily.  _

 

Wincing at what was once a happy memory now turned into a painful one, Baekhyun tried to remember what happened later that day when he took his son out to eat ice cream. 

 

While eating their ice creams, Baekhyun finally asked his son what they did in school. 

 

_ “We learned how to read and write! Then we did some arts and crafts. One girl in my class forgot to bring markers, so I let her use some of mine! Then we ate lunch, and then we did some math. I don’t really like math, but it’s okay I guess,” Taehyung rambled on. If it was any other person he was talking to, the person would’ve most likely lost track of everything Taehyung said. But Baekhyun listened to every word his son said, smiling gently at his son because it seemed that Taehyung was really enjoying school.  _

 

_ “I’m glad that you’re having a good time.”  _

 

_ Taehyung grinned as he ate another spoonful of chocolate ice cream, getting a little bit of it over his mouth. Baekhyun laughed softly as he wiped the chocolate away. As he did so, he could only wish that Taehyung would stay this little. He wished that Taehyung would forever stay this age, still so dependent on his father while learning to slowly become independent. Baekhyun didn’t want this memory to fade. Even though the father and son duo were doing something as simple as eating ice cream, Baekhyun wanted memories like these to last.  _

 

No… this memory was also becoming a painful one. 

 

_ No, no, no… _

 

These precious memories weren’t supposed to hurt him, but it did because he knew that the memories would stop shortly after that. There would be no more memories of him and Taehyung. With that realization, the pain in Baekhyun’s suddenly turned. It turned into something more vicious, something dangerous. It was becoming anger, something Baekhyun had yet to feel ever since his son passed away. 

 

Baekhyun curled his fists as they began to shake. The anger was soon becoming too much for him, and without another thought to himself, he slammed his fist into the brick wall next to the gate. 

 

“FUCK!” Baekhyun cried out as he held his hand, knowing for sure that it was broken since he could barely move his fingers. “FUCKING HELL!” He screamed, not caring that he probably looked like a madman, but he had every right to feel this way. “I just want you back… Taehyung. I just want to hold you once more in my arms.”

 

The anger soon dissipated, but the pain didn’t. No matter how much Baekhyun just wanted to stay and look at the school, he knew he should treat his hand soon. He took one last look at the school, feeling the pain in his chest growing more when he realized it would be the last time he’d probably ever see the school. There was no reason for him to go there anyway. 

 

Walking back home, Baekhyun knew he would be greeted by an empty house. As soon as he stepped into his house, Baekhyun knew he was right. He was met with a dark and silent living room. Turning on the lights, Baekhyun felt his heart clenching when he saw that it was exactly the way it looked before his son passed away. 

 

Baekhyun hated it. He fucking despised it. His very own house was bringing him nothing but memories of him and his son together. Baekhyun didn’t want that. He just wanted the pain to go away. He didn’t want to remember his son anymore. 

 

Baekhyun screamed as he looked for the nearest picture of him and son together before grabbing a hold of one and smashing it onto the floor, glass shattering into tiny, million pieces just like his heart. It wasn’t enough, however, to wipe the memories away. He needed to destroy more. He just wanted to it…  _ end.  _

 

He cried out as he grabbed another picture and smashed the frame next to the already broken one. 

 

It didn’t work. 

 

The memories were still there. 

 

_ God… just when will it fucking end?! _

 

He smashed another one and then another one until exhaustion slowly crept onto him. Baekhyun sobbed as he finally looked around him, noticing the billion pieces of glass shards that was now littered on the floor. Baekhyun chuckled bitterly. 

 

_ So is this how it’ll end?  _

 

Indeed. This was probably the end of him. Baekhyun smiled. Maybe he’d finally see his wife and son again. His eyes slowly began to close, and when they did, Baekhyun knew he was losing consciousness. However, just before he lost consciousness, he could’ve sworn he heard two voices. 

 

“ _ Baekhyun, oh my God!”  _

 

It sounded like… Jongdae. 

 

Baekhyun wished it wasn’t his voice, though. But that didn't matter. He’d soon see his wife and son again. That was all he could ever wish for. 

  
It was getting dark. It was getting  _ very  _ dark. By the time Baekhyun could notice that someone was trying to get him to wake up, he was already consumed by the eternal darkness. 


	5. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

 

_ Two years later _

 

Two years had passed by in a blur. It felt like he wasn’t  _ living _ life. Much rather, it felt like he was watching a film with neither color nor sound. That was Baekhyun’s perspective in the past two years. So much had happened in the past two years that it didn’t feel like it was only two years. It felt like ten years had passed by. 

 

The only way Baekhyun was able to tell that ten years hadn’t passed was because he knew that if ten years actually passed, the memories of his deceased son and wife wouldn’t hurt so much. 

 

Despite two years passing, it still hurt Baekhyun to think about the past, but it was getting better. Baekhyun was learning to slowly overcome the pain, and he had Jongdae and Minseok to thank for. 

 

That night when he returned home from the ice cream parlor, Baekhyun had really thought it would be the end for him. He remembered that night like it was just yesterday. The sound of the picture frames shattering onto his floor still rang in his mind. He couldn’t specifically remember the physical pain he felt, but what he heard from Jongdae was that he was bleeding so much. Baekhyun, however couldn’t even remember he was bleeding. He was so blinded by the emotioinal pain, anger, and sadness that he ignored the physical pain. 

 

If it hadn’t been for Minseok and Jongdae who wanted to check up on their friend since he didn’t answer his phone calls, Baekhyun would have suffered from injuries that would have costed a lot. It wouldn’t cost him as much as his life, but it would’ve costed him stitches and surgeries. If Minseok and Jongdae had been a minute late, Baekhyun would’ve gotten surgery, but because they were able to save him just before the glass could cut too deep, Baekhyun only suffered a few cuts and a wrist sprain. 

 

When Baekhyun woke up from the hospital that night, he was met with terror and sadness in Jongdae’s eyes. Jongdae had cried that night as he told Baekhyun how scared he was. He thought he almost lost his best friend. 

 

Baekhyun felt absolutely miserable and guilty as he watched his friend cry because of him, but he couldn’t help but burst out that he was feeling pain and sadness too. As the two friends talked, they came to a decision that Baekhyun would get therapy. 

 

The therapy had worked, but only a little bit. It just wasn’t enough to help Baekhyun mend his broken heart, so he therefore decided it was time to keep himself more busy. Deciding it was time to take another extra step in his career, Baekhyun went back to school to study and become a doctor. Because he didn’t have his son to take care of, Baekhyun was able to put all of his attention into studying. 

 

Baekhyun had become one of the top students in med school. He aced his exam without a problem and soon was hired by the same hospital he worked for as a doctor. Being a doctor was very much different from being a nurse. It required more time out of his life, and that was exactly what he needed. Baekhyun needed something to distract himself from the memories of what occurred two years ago. So far, it had been working. 

 

Now, Baekhyun was just working lifelessly in the hospital. He really didn’t have much of a goal in life anymore except to hopefully live long enough until he’ll retire. Before, his goal in life would’ve been to protect his son at all cost, take care and love his son no matter what, watch his son grow up to become a young, handsome man and witness his son living happily ever after. Unfortunately, his son’s happily ever after was snatched away from him, and Baekhyun didn’t even get the chance to ever witness the happily ever after. Not like that even existed at all. 

 

Baekhyun tried to take as many shifts at the hospital as he could, keeping himself as busy as possible. This was the only way for him to stay somewhat sane. Although the young doctor had lost hours of sleep, it was worth it as long as the nightmares wouldn’t haunt him. 

 

With hours of sleep lost, it was obvious that something had to keep Baekhyun up. Thus, the latter would always grab himself a cup of a coffee before heading over to the hospital and starting his ordinary day at work once again. 

 

As soon as he arrived at work, he was, of course, greeted by his two closest friends. 

 

“Baek!” Jongdae greeted enthusiastically. The said man merely nodded at him, showing that he at least acknowledged his friend. Usually, Baekhyun would’ve always greeted his friend back with a smile, but after the incident that happened two years ago, it had been so hard for him to smile. He was only grateful that his two friends understood. That way, he didn’t have to make an effort to put a fake smile in front of them everyday. “Have you slept last night?” Jongdae finally asked, concern laced in his voice. 

 

Baekhyun glanced at him for a bit and shook his head. 

 

Jongdae sighed. He had a feeling his friend didn’t sleep last night, as if the dark circles and bags underneath Baekhyun’s eyes weren’t enough of an indication. As always, that would be Baekhyun’s answer. The latter constantly claimed that he didn’t sleep, and Jongdae perfectly understood why, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t concerned for his friend. He knew how much the nightmares still haunted Baekhyun in his sleep, but Jongdae just wanted his friend to get some rest. 

 

Baekhyun knew his friend was worrying over him before he said sternly, “Look, I’m fine. I had a cup of a coffee in the morning. I’ll be fine.” 

 

Minseok, who hadn’t said anything yet, spoke to Jongdae before the latter could protest. “If he says he’s fine, then he’s fine. Let’s not bother him anymore.” 

 

Baekhyun turned around, thanking Minseok before looking through some of the files of his patients. 

 

That was all that his friends would get out of him. There would be no follow up questions or answers. There was no laughter, no jokes made by Baekhyun, no teasing from Jongdae. Baekhyun knew he was shutting his friends out of his life, but it was better that way, he deemed. 

 

Everytime he loved someone, they always happened to disappear, and it would always break him. That was why Baekhyun wanted to spare the pain. Although the loneliness never left him throughout the years, at least it wouldn’t hurt him if his two friends would ever disappear on him. 

 

As Baekhyun was looking through the files, he noticed there was a new file added to the system. Curiously, Baekhyun clicked on the profile and saw that a large portion of the patient’s health information was missing. 

 

Minseok seemed to see what Baekhyun was looking at and told him that there had been a new patient admitted to the hospital last night. “He’s a strange one. Last night, he came in with scratches and bruises all over his body, but he wouldn’t let anyone touch him or treat him.” 

 

“So who’s treating him now?” Baekhyun questioned, eyebrows frowning from Minseok’s explanation on the newly admitted patient. He never heard of a patient who never wanted to be treated for their injuries. “And where is he staying?”

 

“Well, no one’s taking care of him in particular at the moment. They’re waiting for him to calm down a bit in hopes he’ll eventually tell the doctor,” Minseok answered casually. “And I think he might be staying in room 614.” 

 

Baekhyun nodded, taking in all of the information that he was just given. “Who was assigned to treat him?” 

 

“I think it might’ve been Dr. Ahn.”

 

“Tell her that she doesn’t have to treat him.” 

 

Minseok widened his eyes, clearly shocked.  

 

Jongdae, who had been silently listening, was also shocked. “Then who’s going to take care of the new patient?” 

 

Baekhyun shrugged. “Me.” 

 

“But if he doesn’t respond to Dr. Ahn, who’s one of the best doctors here, what makes you think he’ll respond to you?” Jongdae asked, crossing his arms as he watched Baekhyun assign the new patient to himself instead of Dr. Ahn. 

 

“I’ll make him,” Baekhyun said emotionlessly before he got up and headed to the new patient’s room without another word said to his friends. 

 

When Baekhyun finally found the room, he stood in front of it, thinking to himself why he just assigned another patient to his already long list of patients he had to take care of. It wasn’t until long before he was reminded of the fact that he just wanted to  _ forget _ . Seeing more patients was the only way for him to forget because it kept his mind occupied. Hearing about this new patient from Minseok, Baekhyun was rather curious yet enthusiastic about treating the patient. From what he heard, it seemed that this patient was quite troublesome. 

 

The more troublesome the merrier. Baekhyun sniggered bitterly before he finally opened the door. Looking inside, Baekhyun could see a young man who was probably in his late twenties or early thirties. The first thing the doctor noticed was that the man was definitely tall. Since the man was lying down on a bed, Baekhyun couldn’t make an exact estimate, but if he had to guess, the patient was at least more than six feet tall. 

 

The patient wasn’t exactly overweight nor was he too skinny. Baekhyun could see that the patient actually had a very slender and lanky figure. However, that wasn’t what stood out to him. What really stood out was the man’s - might he say - very large ears. 

 

Even though Baekhyun had already taken care of so many patients, never before did he have patients who had ears as large as this patient’s. Already, Baekhyun was quite intrigued by the young lad who laid in bed, eyes closed and chest rising up and down at an even pace. 

 

“Mr. Park, is it?” Baekhyun questioned the patient. “You don’t have to pretend to sleep. I’m Dr. Byun, and I’ll be your new doctor.” 

 

Baekhyun stood right next to the hospital bed, looking down at the young man and waiting for the latter to drop his facade and wake up. When the patient had yet to drop his facade, Baekhyun already knew that this one patient definitely had a stubbornness issue. It was nothing new to the doctor. He would have to be just as stubborn then. Baekhyun was going to speak again before the patient finally fluttered an eye open. 

 

“Awake?” Baekhyun asked mockingly before the patient frowned. “Sir, I know you don’t want to talk about what happened, but can you at least say your name?”

 

The patient only glared at him before he snorted and tried to turn onto his side, but it was obviously a vain attempt when the man hissed in pain. 

 

Baekhyun rolled his eyes before he explained to the patient that he had a large cut on his left side. “You’re going to have to give me some information before I can do any treatment on you.” 

 

“I don’t want your damn treatment,” the patient seethed, eyes glaring dangerously into Baekhyun’s eyes, but the latter was unfazed. “Just leave me the fuck alone. I was doing fucking fine before I came here.” 

 

“The nurses and doctors here are just trying to help,” Baekhyun said calmly. He was getting frustrated. Never before had Baekhyun ever heard from a patient that they didn’t want to get treated. 

 

“None of you guys will be able to help!” the patient lashed out, eyes glistening with anger. However, when Baekhyun took a better look into the patient’s eyes, he could see what he saw was in his own eyes a few years ago: sadness. 

 

Baekhyun remembered what he looked like when he looked at himself in the mirror two years ago. He remembered looking into his own eyes, seeing nothing but anger and grief. Baekhyun had been furious with himself. He had continued to ask why. Why couldn’t he have been a better father? Why didn’t he just stay with his son for his birthday? Why? However, no matter how angry he was at himself, he also felt sadness and depression. Baekhyun had never felt so lonely after losing a loved one. 

 

Seeing the look in the patient’s eyes had truly reminded what he looked like only two years ago. Although there was still anger, Baekhyun felt the anger slowly dissipating. Instead, it was only replaced with a blanket of sadness and loneliness. There was nothing to be angry at anymore, but Baekhyun could still feel the pain of being abandoned and alone, and it just  _ hurt.  _

 

“You won’t understand how I feel. No one will!” the patient continued to cry out. “No one can help me… Not anymore.” 

 

Baekhyun’s head perked up as he stared at the patient before he softened his glare. Shaking his head, Baekhyun quietly let out a shaky sigh. “I understand how you feel.” 

 

“I doubt it. You’re a doctor. You’re probably living the life right now with a wife and children.”

 

Baekhyun gritted his teeth at the man’s response while the palm of his hands turned into fists. Although Baekhyun wanted so badly to smack the patient in the face, he had to restrain himself. Unfortunately, it was rather a hard task to do, but Baekhyun kept reminding himself that the patient knew nothing about him. 

 

“You’re wrong,” Baekhyun replied simply with a tint of venom in his voice. “I’ve lost the love of my life seven years ago. Soon after, I lost our child.” Baekhyun’s heart clenched at the mention of his son. It had been so long since he mentioned his son, yet here he was, telling a complete stranger about his son who passed away. 

 

Just before the pain could become more unbearable, Baekhyun told the patient that he was going to leave. “I’ll come back until you calm down again.” 

 

The moment Baekhyun had his hand on the doorknob, ready to leave, the patient called out to him. Baekhyun froze, but he didn’t turn around, for the last person he wanted to see was this patient. 

 

“Wait…” the man said softly, the anger in his voice clearly disappearing. “I’m… sorry.”

 

Baekhyun had yet to say anything before the man finally said, “My name is Chanyeol, by the way. Park Chanyeol.”

 

Baekhyun merely nodded before he opened the door and silently left, not even realizing that this patient was already giving him a huge impression before it was too late.

 

* * *

 

“Park Chanyeol? So that’s his name?” Jongdae asked his friend who wrote down the man’s name in the file. “How was he?” 

 

Baekhyun shrugged, not paying much attention to Jongdae and his questions. He was still thinking about how he told the man what happened to his son. Honestly, Baekhyun didn’t know what he got himself into, and he wasn’t sure if should regret assigning the new patient for himself. 

 

Chanyeol was definitely a patient that Baekhyun never had before. All the patients he had in the past were so willing to get treated, but not Chanyeol. The latter was different, yet Baekhyun could see the similarities between Chanyeol and himself. The patient had mentioned that no one could help, and Baekhyun understood exactly what the man was probably feeling. Chanyeol probably felt so much pain that there was no one who could help him heal from the pain, and Baekhyun knew exactly how that felt when he lost his son. 

 

Baekhyun sighed exhaustingly as he tried to fill in more of Chanyeol’s files but found himself unable to do so when he realized that he barely knew a thing about the patient. The man had yet to tell the doctor anything about himself except for his name, which was absolutely frustrating for Baekhyun. 

 

If the patient continued to refuse to tell what happened, then Baekhyun would just have to force Chanyeol to tell him. The sooner the patient got treated, the sooner Chanyeol would leave the hospital so that Baekhyun wouldn’t have to deal with the stranger anymore. 

 

Despite talking to the young man for barely half an hour, Chanyeol was already beginning to irk Baekhyun, and the latter didn’t know why besides the fact that he had to mention his son after not talking about him for months.

 

“Chanyeol’s… a strange one,” Baekhyun finally said, eyes still looking at the patient’s profile. “He doesn’t want to get treated, and he told me something that made me realize that we may have more things in common than we realize.” 

 

“Really? What did he say?” Minseok asked before Jongdae was able to. 

 

Baekhyun looked apologetically at his friend. “You know doctors aren’t supposed to disclose private information.” 

 

Minseok pouted before saying that Baekhyun could tell them as a friend rather than a doctor, but Baekhyun was stubborn. He wasn’t going to say another word about the new patient. 

 

“Ugh, when did you get so lame, Baek?” Jongdae teased lightheartedly before he was given a glare by the young doctor. Minseok could only laugh out loud when Jongdae feigned offense. 

 

Baekhyun couldn’t help but let out a soft chuckle seeing his two friends starting to tease each other. For some reason, after he met Chanyeol, Baekhyun felt different. He himself wasn’t sure how, but he felt irked yet at ease. He felt irked because he had to mention his son, but it also felt good knowing that there was someone else who understood how he felt. 

 

Both men felt so much pain and thought that no one in their lives could help them. Maybe Baekhyun could really get along with this patient. 

 

* * *

 

“How are you feeling tonight, Mr. Park?” Baekhyun asked calmly in the evening. It had been a few hours since he had last seen the patient, for he wanted to give Chanyeol a few hours to calm down a bit. 

 

“Better,” Chanyeol simply replied, saying no more than that. 

 

It seemed like it had worked because now Chanyeol wasn’t refusing to answer any questions. 

 

“Do you think you’re able to tell what happened?” 

 

Chanyeol looked away. He appeared as if he was thinking about something before he gave a short, quick response. “I was being an idiot.” 

 

Baekhyun raised a brow. “How so?” 

 

“I wanted to die.” 

 

“What-” Baekhyun gasped before Chanyeol could interrupt him. 

 

“Relax. I wasn’t thinking at that moment. I’m better now, though. Trust me.” 

 

“Sir, this isn’t something to joke about. You need therapy as soon as you get treated,” Baekhyun quickly stated as he began to list down some therapists who he believed may help the young patient. However, as Baekhyun was making his list, he was stopped by Chanyeol who placed his hand over the doctor’s. 

 

“Like I said, I’m fine now. I was just being an idiot. Besides, I doubt therapists will make anyone feel better. You just tell them your feelings, and they wouldn’t even listen. They just try to make you feel a little better and then take your money,” Chanyeol blatantly explained as if he had gone through therapy and didn’t get much out of it. 

 

Come to think of it, Baekhyun could partially believe the patient. He remembered when he went to therapy to talk about his son and wife. It didn’t help much. All he really got out of it was that one more person in his life heard about his depressing life. Well, that explained a lot about why Baekhyun didn’t feel that much better after his sessions were over. 

 

“All right,” Baekhyun hesitatingly said as he picked up the slip of paper and crumpled it, not noticing the small smile on the patient’s face. “Then forget it.” 

 

Baekhyun didn’t say much after that before he looked over the patient’s files once more before looking at Chanyeol, noticing how round and large they were. Baekhyun felt intrigued when he also realized that the anger in those large eyes he saw from before completely dissipated. It was as if he never felt anger in the first place. Instead, it was filled with a dark, empty abyss. Right now, Baekhyun couldn’t tell a single thing about the patient. Chanyeol truly hid his emotions well, Baekhyun noticed. 

 

“I’m looking through your files now, Mr. Park, and I notice that there are some things that are missing. If you don’t mind, in order for you to get treated, I’m going to have to ask you some questions about your health history. Do you consent?” 

 

Chanyeol casually shrugged as he nodded.  

 

When Baekhyun was done asking the questions, Baekhyun got the files organized before he sat up and was about to leave, telling Chanyeol that he’d look over the files before giving him the treatment. However, there had been one question that had been lingering in Baekhyun’s mind, and he couldn’t help but ask out of curiosity. “Why are you suddenly being so cooperative, Mr. Park?” 

 

“I’m not being cooperative, doctor. I’m only being cooperative towards you.” 

 

Baekhyun frowned, confusion settling in. 

 

Chanyeol merely chuckled before he answered, “You seem to understand what I’m going through.” 

 

“Oh…” Baekhyun murmured as his facial features relaxed a bit. “I see.” 

 

With that, Baekhyun left the room without another word. He had went inside the room with one question, now he was leaving it with more questions than ever. 

 

* * * 

 

It took exactly three days for Chanyeol to get his treatment; after his treatment was completed, he was still required to stay in the hospital so that the doctor and nurses could check up on him and see how he was recovering. To say the least, Chanyeol would be discharged from the hospital in a few minutes after making a successful recovery from receiving a few stitches. 

 

“You are prohibited from making any excess movements. Do I make myself clear, Mr. Park?” Baekhyun strictly stated as he finished up writing on the patient’s files. “I cannot stress myself enough, but do not open those stitches.” 

 

“Yes, doctor,” Chanyeol exhaled tiredly after being repeatedly told not to make too much movement and not to open up his wounds. 

 

“Okay…” Baekhyun hesitatingly said as he signed his signature on the files. “Well, I guess you’re free from this hospital, Mr. Park. I wish you the best of luck. Hopefully I won’t have to see you in the hospital again,” the doctor teased, smiling gently when he saw that his patient had a smile reflecting his own. 

 

“Yeah… I-uh…. Thanks,” Chanyeol muttered softly before he got up from the bed. He had already gotten dressed and was ready to leave, but it seemed like there was something going on in his patient’s mind. Baekhyun could tell because he saw that Chanyeol was hesitating to leave. 

 

Curiously, Baekhyun asked, “Is everything okay? Do you have any questions?” 

 

“Yes,” Chanyeol straightforwardly stated. “Um…” he coughed. “Well, I… uh…. Actually, nevermind. Forget it.” 

 

Baekhyun slightly tilted his head in confusion. Chanyeol had definitely been one of the strangest patients he ever had. If the doctor had to be honest, he was sort of grateful that Chanyeol had made a fast recovery. The sooner Chanyeol was out of his sight, the better, Baekhyun thought. Shrugging, Baekhyun eventually replied, “If you say so. Have a good day, Mr. Park.” 

 

The patient only gave a stiff nod before he set off, leaving Baekhyun more confused than ever. That, however, wasn’t any different from the way Baekhyun reacted to the patient while he treated him. Ever since Baekhyun began the treatment, Chanyeol had shown him many mixed emotions. 

 

There had been times when Chanyeol teased the doctor for not smiling or talking enough; there were other times when he joked around with Baekhyun, making quirky jokes that the doctor found absolutely no humor in. Despite that, Baekhyun would have to admit that he did chuckle a few times because of Chanyeol who laughed at his own lame jokes. Then there were those moments when Chanyeol didn’t say anything at all, almost as if he was thinking deeply about something. 

 

Honestly, Baekhyun didn’t know what to say about Chanyeol except that he was truly a strange one. Baekhyun was honestly glad that he got the patient off his shoulder, and he really did hope that Chanyeol could live well despite everything he must have gone through. He really hoped, but like always, Baekhyun should’ve learned to never hope for much. 

 

It happened only a week later.  

 

Baekhyun was on his way to another patient’s room when he completely missed the sight of a certain tall, slender figure that sat on the chairs in the waiting room. The figure sat there, waiting for what seemed to be at least fifteen minutes before Baekhyun stepped out of the room again with the patient. 

 

“It shouldn’t be anything too serious, Mr. Kim. However, if you continue to cough after having taken these medicines for a few days, then I recommend coming back here again,” Baekhyun explained professionally as gave the patient a slip of paper of what kinds of medicines he should take. After the patient thanked him and left, Baekhyun was already on his way to his next patient. However, while Baekhyun was looking down at his files, he didn’t notice the certain figure approaching him.

 

Unfortunately, it was too late. He accidentally bumped into a tall figure, and before Baekhyun could realize, all the files in his hands dropped onto the floor, papers scattering everywhere.    
  


“Shit,” Baekhyun murmured softly as he kept his eyes looking down at the floor. He bent down to start picking up the papers, but when he did so, a large pair of hands made itself visible to Baekhyun’s view. Looking up, Baekhyun widened his eyes before he glared angrily at the man. “You! What are you doing here?” 

 

The tall, slender man smiled sheepishly as he helped the doctor pick up the papers. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to make you drop everything.” 

 

“That’s not what I asked,” Baekhyun seethed, teeth gritting against each other because now he would have to sort out all the papers again. Not only that, but he was running late into seeing his next patient. “What are you doing here, Mr. Park?” 

 

“Chanyeol,” the man said, smile still on his face. 

 

Baekhyun continued to glare at the man. “What the hell-”

 

“Call me Chanyeol. Since I’m not your patient anymore, you don’t have to be so formal.” 

 

Baekhyun shook his head, anger beginning to settle within him. “Look,  _ Chanyeol _ , if there’s nothing wrong with you, then you shouldn’t be here. If you haven’t noticed yet, this is a hospital and I’m a doctor. I’ve got patients to take care of. I’m sort of busy here.”

 

“Oh, then I’ll make it quick!” Chanyeol exclaimed excitedly, grinning brightly. Baekhyun almost wanted to smack that grin off Chanyeol’s face, but he restrained himself due to professionalism. If anyone saw a doctor smacking a harmless man, then there would definitely be trouble for him. 

 

Refraining himself from doing anything to the young man, Baekhyun took a deep breath in, trying to calm himself down. “Fine, what do you want?” 

 

“Let’s get dinner together. It’ll be my treat.” 

 

Well, that certainly came out of nowhere, Baekhyun thought. “No,” the doctor simply replied as he tried to reorganize his paperwork. 

 

“Why?” 

 

“Because I don’t want you to treat me.” 

 

“But you took care of me, and I just want to treat you back. It’s sort of my way of saying thanks for helping me when I really needed it,” Chanyeol explained himself, but Baekhyun was having none of that. There was no way in hell he would allow this strange man offer him to a meal. Baekhyun was perfectly capable of having a meal on his own, and for years he ate his meals  _ alone _ . He wasn’t going to allow some man who he treated offer him a meal. 

 

“My answer is still a no.” 

 

“Then I’ll keep asking until you say yes.” 

 

“Not possible.” 

 

“I’d say it is possible.” 

 

Baekhyun rolled his eyes at how stubborn Chanyeol was. “Just leave me alone. If there’s something wrong with you, I’ll have another doctor check up on you. But I’m currently busy,” the doctor grumbled as he started to make his way to his next patient, hoping that the strange man would get the message. 

 

Clearly, Chanyeol didn’t get the message. 

 

“Then I’ll ask again when you’re not busy,” Chanyeol claimed, obviously very optimistic in wanting to invite the doctor to a meal.  

 

“Let’s see you try,” Baekhyun tested, smiling victoriously to himself when Chanyeol finally stopped following him. Now that should have gotten rid of the strange man. 

 

Baekhyun would soon find out how wrong he would be. Just what the hell was he thinking when he decided to assign himself to treat this peculiar man? 


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 5**

 

It happened again the next day. 

 

Baekhyun was typing quickly on the keyboard, filling out and updating the system on the computer. The minute he finished updating the system and clicked ‘save,’ he looked up only to be shocked to see the same, peculiar man from yesterday. “Chanyeol, what is it?” Baekhyun asked patiently, knowing that his two friends were probably looking at the two of them, wondering how their friend could know this person. 

 

“So… how about tonight?” 

 

Baekhyun let out a heavy sigh before he leaned into Chanyeol’s ears and whispered harshly, “It’s a strong no from me.” 

 

“Why?” Chanyeol persisted. 

 

“I’m busy.” 

 

“You can’t be busy all the time,” the man struck back, clearly more persistent than ever. “Please?” 

 

“No.” 

 

“Fine, then I’ll come back tomorrow to ask again. Hopefully you’ll change your mind,” Chanyeol said as he left the hospital, leaving the doctor to fume over what just occurred.

“I won’t,” Baekhyun grumbled to himself as he stiffly sat on the chair. He knew what would happen next. Immediately, his two friends asked what just happened.

 

“Wasn’t that the strange patient? What is he doing here?” Minseok asked curiously with Jongdae right behind him, wanting to hear Baekhyun’s answer. 

 

The looks of concern and curiosity that were plastered on his two friends’ faces had Baekhyun feeling slightly guilty. With so much going on in his mind, he just never got the time to actually tell Jongdae or Minseok about what happened, despite him promising them two years that he’d try his best to talk to them if anything was ever bothering him. 

 

“Well,” Baekhyun began, looking down at the floor, not being able to bear seeing his friends’ reactions. “Ever since Chanyeol got discharged, he keeps asking me to eat dinner with him. His treat.” 

 

“Oh my God, he did that?!” Jongdae exclaimed, clearly shocked. Minseok, who looked just as shocked, only widened his eyes. “Well, what did you say to him?” 

 

“I said no.” 

 

“Why?” 

 

Baekhyun gave an offended look. He only decided to tell his two friends because he thought they would be on his side and agree with him that Chanyeol was way too strange. He definitely didn’t think that they’d question his decline. “What do you mean why?” 

 

“Why’d you decline him?” Jongdae wondered. 

 

“He’s… creepy,” Baekhyun murmured softly. “Besides, I don’t have time for him. I’ve got plenty of work to do.” 

 

“Baek,” Minseok spoke this time. “Why don’t you just accept his offer and go out for one night? You really do need the break, and honestly he doesn’t seem that creepy. Did he say why he wanted to treat you?” 

 

“He said he wanted to do it to show his gratitude for me being able to treat him,” Baekhyun simply answered. 

 

“That’s a good reason,” Jongdae claimed truthfully. “Honestly, I think you should say yes to him. It’s just for one night, and then maybe he’ll leave you alone.” 

 

Baekhyun groaned in frustration, irritation building up because his friends just weren’t understanding him. He didn’t want this to happen. He didn’t want this strange,  _ creepy _ man who was once his patient ask him to treat him to a meal. First of all, Baekhyun barely knew the guy. Second of all, and the main reason for not wanting to go out with Chanyeol was because of the sole fact that he didn’t want to get too close with the man. 

 

Two years ago, Baekhyun promised himself that he would never let anyone enter his heart ever again. He already had two people who he held extremely close to his heart be snatched away from him. Baekhyun refused to have a third person come in only to be snatched away again. Even though Jongdae and Minseok were Baekhyun’s two closest friends, he had them blocked from entering his heart. 

 

Baekhyun had built a wall so high up and so thick that it’d be a miracle if anyone was able to break it down. He only built it so strongly because he didn’t want to be hurt again. No. Never again. The pain had been so unbearable that it almost torn Baekhyun apart. 

 

Not again. 

 

_ Never again.  _

 

Baekhyun didn’t want to go through it again. 

 

However, as Baekhyun thought about Jongdae’s words, he did think it would at least be polite of him if he accepted Chanyeol’s offer. Besides, Chanyeol was only asking for one night. One night and then it’d be over. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. 

 

Baekhyun sighed, thinking to himself why he allowed himself to tell his friends about Chanyeol in the first place. He couldn’t believe it, though. Was he actually going to agree with Chanyeol’s offer? Baekhyun thought about it for a moment only to come to the conclusion that maybe he was growing soft after everything happened to him. 

 

Although Baekhyun told himself that he’d agree to Chanyeol’s offer, he only hoped that the man wouldn’t show up the next day. If Chanyeol didn’t show up, then Baekhyun wouldn’t have to agree in the first place. Yes, that was definitely what Baekhyun hoped for. 

 

* * *

 

“So have you changed your mind?” 

 

Baekhyun stared incredulously at the tall male before him. The doctor, to say the least, was absolutely and utterly shocked. He had hoped for so much, yet this was the outcome. Baekhyun looked into the large, round eyes that shone so brightly as the owner of those eyes pleaded once again. To Baekhyun’s dismay, he knew he had lost the game. There was nothing to say but a simple “yes.” 

 

“I’ll come back tomorrow if you say - wait… what?” Chanyeol asked skeptically, leaning closer to the obvious shorter male as his eyes widened. “Are you really agreeing?” 

 

Baekhyun casually shrugged. “It’s not like you’re giving me a choice, are you?” 

 

Chanyeol allowed a huge grin to appear on his face. “Nope!” 

 

Baekhyun sighed, feeling like he had been played. Chanyeol knew from the beginning that the doctor would eventually lose and say yes. Baekhyun never even had a chance. 

 

“So where and when are we having dinner?” 

 

“How about Friday night at 7?” Chanyeol suggested to which Baekhyun agreed since his shift would end at 6 on Fridays. 

 

“That’s fine with me.” 

 

“Great! Then I’ll pick you up at 7.”

 

Baekhyun stared at Chanyeol, expecting the latter to leave now that he finally agreed. However, Chanyeol stayed rooted to his spot, leaving Baekhyun confused. Raising a brow, the doctor asked, “Are you going to leave now, or…?” 

 

Chanyeol smiled sheepishly as he rubbed the back of his neck. “Where do I pick you up?” 

 

Oh.

 

_ Oh.  _

 

Baekhyun debated whether he should have Chanyeol pick him up from work or from his house. Since Baekhyun realized that he probably wouldn’t see the man after their night out together, it’d be better for the man to pick him up from the hospital. “Just pick me up at the hospital.” 

 

“Okay! I’ll see you then!” 

 

“Yeah… see you,” Baekhyun mumbled, watching the tall male finally exit the hospital with a large grin on his face. Great, now he had to think about what he should wear on Friday. Maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to agree. Just when Baekhyun wanted to call Chanyeol to cancel, he remembered he didn’t have the man’s number.  _ Damn. _

 

_ It’s just one night _ . Baekhyun told himself. It shouldn’t be too bad, right?

 

* * * 

 

Baekhyun couldn’t believe it. He really couldn’t. In fact, it took him a full five minutes to look at what laid in front of his eyes before he could actually believe what he was seeing. Even then, he still couldn’t what he was seeing. 

 

What exactly could he even be seeing?

 

Well, he was looking at Chanyeol to be exact, who came just on time to pick up the young doctor. Chanyeol, who offered to treat him to dinner, was wearing nothing but a black hoodie and black tight jeans. The man also wore a pair of round glasses that should’ve looked absolutely ridiculous on him, but Chanyeol made it work somehow. His hair was slightly messy compared to the last time Baekhyun saw him, but that wasn’t what bothered him. 

 

What bothered him was the fact that Chanyeol had seemed so much like a gentleman when he offered to treat him to dinner, yet the man was dressed as if he was in a high school gang or something. Unlike Baekhyun, the latter actually tried to look somewhat decent. He wore a white t-shirt with a grey cardigan on top, and of course he put on a pair of blue jeans. It was simple, but at least it was decent. 

 

Honestly, if Baekhyun was in someone else’s shoes, he probably would’ve guessed that Baekhyun and Chanyeol were buddies in high school or something and definitely not thirty year old men.

 

“Ready?” Chanyeol asked, eyes still so round and bright with anticipation for their night out together. 

 

“Yeah… sure,” Baekhyun murmured as he quickly followed Chanyeol, hoping none of his coworkers would see him going out with a man who was almost a head taller than him. He was so close to the exit, and just when he thought that he wouldn’t be caught, a loud voice shouted out for him. Baekhyun internally groaned, recognizing that voice from anywhere. 

 

“Baek!” Jongdae exclaimed cheerfully, smirking slightly when he eyed the taller man for a second before turning to look at his friend. “You’re going out tonight?” 

 

“Yeah,” Baekhyun sighed as his friend let out a soft chuckle. 

 

“Where are you two going?”

 

Chanyeol decided to speak up. “It’s a secret!” 

 

“I see. Well, have fun you two!” Jongdae waved farewell before he winked at Baekhyun, a clear indication that he wanted his friend to text him as soon as he returned home. 

 

“Was that your friend?” Chanyeol asked to which Baekhyun quickly nodded and immediately ushered the taller male out of the hospital, not wanting anyone else to see them together. 

 

When the two got out of the hospital, Chanyeol began to lead the doctor to his vehicle. As soon as they arrived, Baekhyun’s jaw dropped in utter shock. Honestly, Baekhyun couldn’t even count the amount of times Chanyeol had shocked him that day. 

 

“Sorry, I know you probably weren’t expecting  _ this.”  _

 

Baekhyun incredulously shook his head as he continued to stare at the scooter. Well, he certainly wasn’t expecting to ride a scooter with the man. He at least hoped it would be a decent car. Keeping his thoughts to himself, Baekhyun took the helmet that Chanyeol gave him and got on the scooter. 

 

“Ready?” Chanyeol asked as he sat in the front, already starting the engine. 

 

“Yeah.” 

 

“Hold on tight.” 

 

“What-”

 

Before Baekhyun could say anything else, the scooter began to move and the doctor immediately brought his hands to hold onto Chanyeol’s waist. Baekhyun had never ridden a scooter, and if he had to be honest, he was kind of terrified. Despite Chanyeol going pretty slowly, Baekhyun felt like they were totally going faster than average. 

 

When Chanyeol sped up, Baekhyun only tightened his grip on Chanyeol’s waist. He shut his eyes closed, not wanting to see what was happening in front of him. However, after a few minutes had passed, Baekhyun finally opened one of his eyes. He soon opened both of his eyes and he was finally getting used to the feeling of being on a scooter. Although Chanyeol was driving a lot smoothly, Baekhyun found himself to still be holding tightly onto the man’s waist. He wasn’t taking any chances of falling. 

 

They rode for about fifteen minutes when Baekhyun felt like he was actually enjoying the ride instead of being terrified of it. He kept his eyes open, watching the scene around him. It was so different from being in a car where he constantly felt trapped inside the vehicle. However, being on a scooter allowed him to see and feel so much more. 

 

Just when Baekhyun almost couldn’t get enough of his surroundings, he realized the scooter was slowing down. They were probably close to their destination. With a tinge of sadness, Baekhyun slowly loosened his grip on Chanyeol’s waist until they came to a complete stop. 

 

“So?” Chanyeol asked from the front. “How was it?” 

 

“It was… fine,” Baekhyun casually replied before Chanyeol emitted a loud wave of laughter. “What?” Baekhyun wondered with slight offense. 

 

“You were absolutely terrified. Admit it.”

 

“No, I wasn’t!” Baekhyun exclaimed in defense, but it was futile. Chanyeol had a smirk on his face when he fully turned around to face the doctor. 

 

“Well the way you held onto me didn’t tell me that you were fine.” Chanyeol grinned victoriously when Baekhyun only grumbled incoherently. “That’s okay. I know it can be scary at first, but it gets better after a while.” 

 

Baekhyun huffed in irritation. “Who said there would be a next time?” As soon as those words left the doctor’s mouth, he felt kind of bad when he saw the look of hurt flash across Chanyeol’s face. “N-Nevermind…” Baekhyun said softly, still feeling terrible because the way Chanyeol looked before actually hurt Baekhyun himself. 

 

Baekhyun suddenly felt like an asshole for saying what he just said out loud to the man. Although Chanyeol had been quite a creep, the man was still human. He was probably experiencing the same thing Baekhyun felt when he lost Taehyung. The doctor sighed softly. The least he could do was at least sympathize with Chanyeol; he knew nothing could hurt more than knowing how lonely it felt when a person experiences so much pain to the point where he or she felt like no one could help them. 

 

“Where are we eating by the way?” Baekhyun quickly asked, trying to change the conversation and smiled internally when he was successful. A small smile came across Chanyeol’s face when he pointed what was in front of them. 

 

When Baekhyun turned around, he had expected to be some high quality restaurant. Certainly, he wasn’t expecting this. Once again, Chanyeol shocked him for nth time that night. 

 

“A… convenience store? We’re eating at a convenience store?” Baekhyun questioned with bewilderment. 

 

“Oh… sorry,” Chanyeol quickly apologized. “Were you expecting a better restaurant? I-I… would have brought you to somewhere better, but I’m not really in the position to do that yet. I’m… sorry.” 

 

Baekhyun turned to look at Chanyeol and saw the hurtful features on the taller man’s face. Gently, Baekhyun caressed the man’s back and smiled gently at him. “No, this is perfect. It’s been a while since I’ve eaten some good ramen.” 

 

The dejected look on Chanyeol’s face was soon replaced with a large grin. “I’m glad. Shall we get some ramen then?” 

 

“Yes, we shall.” 

 

Although both men entered the convenience store together, the two of them separated once they were actually in the store. Baekhyun had went off to look at his favorite types of ramen when Chanyeol went to search for his. While looking through the aisle, Baekhyun realized that this was actually kind of fun. He had really expected Chanyeol to bring him to some decent restaurant, and then they’d probably share a glass of wine in the restaurant. However, being in convenience store and looking through all the different types of ramen made Baekhyun realize that this was so much better. 

 

It got even better when Baekhyun picked out his ramen and decided to get a bottle of beer. It had been so long since Baekhyun got a sip of alcohol, for being a doctor just didn’t give him either the luxury or time to simply relax and take a sip. Now that he had paid for his simple meal, the excitement only grew within him. 

 

It had been so long since he had this opportunity to sit down and eat like this. Most of the time, Baekhyun would just order takeout from a Korean or Chinese restaurant since he didn’t have much time. He also never really considered eating ramen since he knew, being a doctor and all, that eating ramen everyday wasn’t a good choice. Now, he finally had the chance to eat it after a few years without it. 

 

After Baekhyun paid for his things, he searched for Chanyeol who was sitting on a stool with an empty stool next to him. Baekhyun took that seat next to the man. As soon as he sat down next to the taller male, he grimaced when he looked at what Chanyeol got. 

 

“Really? You didn’t get spicy ramen?” 

 

“Nope! It’s too spicy for me,” Chanyeol admitted without shame. “Besides, Jin ramen is way better than Shin ramen.” 

 

“Oh my God!” the doctor gasped in complete disbelief. “You did not just go there.” 

 

“I just did, though.” 

 

“Psh, you have no taste then.” Baekhyun smirked widely as began to dig into his ramen. “Ugh, this is so much better than what you have.” 

 

“I doubt that.” 

 

Baekhyun was about to protest before Chanyeol unexpectedly shoved some of his ramen into the doctor’s mouth. “Hey!” Baekhyun mumbled, unable to say anything else as he chewed on the ramen that he was given by Chanyeol. Surprisingly, the ramen was actually better than Baekhyun thought, but of course he couldn’t admit that to Chanyeol. 

 

“How is it?” 

 

“It’s okay, I guess.” Baekhyun smirked when Chanyeol had a sullen look on his face. Just as Chanyeol was about to take another bite of his ramen, Baekhyun shoved some his spicy ramen into Chanyeol’s mouth. “Gotcha!” 

 

“Hey!” Chanyeol exclaimed, face already becoming slightly red because of the spiciness. “Ah! It’s so spicy!” 

 

“Nah, you’re just weak.” 

 

Chanyeol was panting by the time Baekhyun finally felt nice enough to hand the taller male some of his beer. Although it was absolutely hilarious to see Chanyeol almost freaking out about how spicy the ramen was, he did feel a little bad for torturing the taller man like that. He also felt a little bad for chuckling a little bit, which was also something he hadn’t done for so long. 

 

Ever since Taehyung’s death, it had been so hard for Baekhyun to actually have fun and let out a real laugh. However, here he was with Chanyeol, smiling and chuckling almost as if he never lost his son two years ago. No matter how much Baekhyun wanted to feel guilty, he wanted to be selfish for once. He wanted to feel happy for once in a long time, and somehow being with Chanyeol made this feeling of happiness reappear once again in his life. 

 

Baekhyun let out a soft sigh as the both of them had calmed down a little bit. They ate in a comfortable silent after that with Baekhyun occasionally taking small sips of his beer. 

 

“Hey,” Chanyeol caught the said man’s attention when the latter turned to face the taller male. “Can I… get to know you more?” 

 

“What?” Baekhyun asked, knowing fully well what Chanyeol just said, but he was still a little surprised. “Like what?”

 

“I don’t know. Just tell me about yourself. Your age, your birthday, how you became a doctor, and… I don’t know. Whatever you’re willing to share, I guess.”

 

Baekhyun was about to argue back, telling Chanyeol that they probably would never see each other again and that the taller man was only wasting his time. However, looking into Chanyeol’s eyes and seeing the loneliness and hurt radiating from those orbs, Baekhyun realized he wasn’t able to do it. He couldn’t push Chanyeol away from him now after everything that happened so quickly in such a short amount of time. 

 

Sighing, Baekhyun knew he had no choice but to answer the man. He thought about how he should answer before he finally spoke up. “Well, you know my last name. My full name is Byun Baekhyun. I’m 32 years old, and I’ll be turning 33 in May.” 

 

The taller male nodded, replying that he was the same age as Baekhyun, but his birthday was in November, so Baekhyun was only a few months older. When there was a pregnant pause between them, Baekhyun could see that Chanyeol wanted to ask something else.

 

“If you have something else you want to ask, just ask.”  

 

“Can you… Can you talk about…” Chanyeol hesitated, obviously conflicted with asking his next question. 

 

Baekhyun somewhat knew what Chanyeol was going to ask, so the doctor helped the man finish his sentence. “You want me to talk about how I felt when I lost the love of my life, don’t you?” 

 

Chanyeol widened his eyes a little before he responded with a small nod. “Only if you don’t mind, though!” Chanyeol quickly said. “I-I know you must’ve felt terrible, so you don’t have to tell me anything if you don’t want to.” 

 

Baekhyun didn’t. He really didn’t want to tell Chanyeol anything. Despite having a lot of fun that night, Baekhyun felt like he wasn’t even close enough to Chanyeol to tell him about what happened in his past. In fact, to him, Chanyeol was nothing but a stranger still. He was nothing but just a past patient to him. Baekhyun tried so hard to stop himself from saying anything, but there was something holding him back.

 

It was as if there was something in his mind, telling him that it was okay to tell Chanyeol about what happened. The taller man did say that he had been feeling lonely, so that meant that Chanyeol would probably understand his feelings. 

 

Chanyeol would be the first person to actually understand how he felt. Knowing this, Baekhyun couldn’t stop himself from speaking out loud anymore. Just as he spoke, he looked into Chanyeol’s eyes and saw how understanding Chanyeol felt. 

 

“I… I lost my wife seven years ago. She died while giving birth to my son,” Baekhyun said softly; he honestly couldn’t believe he was telling this stranger everything, but something in Chanyeol’s eyes told Baekhyun that he could trust the man. “I had a beautiful, lovely son. H-He was everything to me. My late wife and I tried so hard to have a baby, but every time we tried, we failed. That was why my son was so important to me when he was finally born. He was my little miracle. He was all I had left.” 

 

Baekhyun didn’t even realize his vision was beginning to blur as he talked about his son. The memories of that day when he received that unfortunate text message from Jongdae still haunted him to this day. As he brought the memory to the surface of his mind, Baekhyun felt himself shaking. “My son was already five years old, and he was going to turn six.” The anger within him also resurfaced, and Baekhyun felt himself clenching his fists. “I had to leave him with his godparents because my dad was admitted to the hospital. I… I left him alone on his sixth birthday when it happened.”

 

Baekhyun suddenly gasped as the memory flashed. The pain came along with the memory, but unlike the memory that disappeared, the pain lingered in Baekhyun’s chest as he tried to keep his breaths calm. “There was an accident,” Baekhyun simply said, not wanting to elaborate because the memory of what really happened still hurt to say aloud. “H-He was in a coma for a month.”

 

Baekhyun looked at Chanyeol once again, staring directly into the man’s eyes as his eyes began to turn red from the unshed tears. “I murdered my son on that Christmas day.”

 

Quickly wiping the tears before they could fall, Baekhyun continued. “I allowed the doctors to turn the life support machine off. I… I killed my son. It was all my fault.” 

 

They stayed silent after that with Baekhyun not having anything else to say. Baekhyun had already looked away from Chanyeol, so he wasn’t sure how Chanyeol reacted to what he just told him, but he already had a feeling that Chanyeol probably felt the same thing as him. Chanyeol probably thought he was a murderer. 

 

Baekhyun realized he still had his fists clenched until he felt something large and warm wrap itself around his clenched fists. Looking up with his blurred vision, Baekhyun widened his eyes when he saw that Chanyeol had gently wrapped his hands around Baekhyun’s fists. 

 

“W-What…” 

 

“I know we probably both did something in the past that we shouldn’t have done…” Chanyeol whispered softly. “But I just want you to know that you did not kill your son. You’re not a murderer. You only did what you thought was the right thing to do. I’m sure your son is in a better place now.” 

 

Baekhyun sighed softly as he loosened his clenched fists. “It still hurts. No matter what, this feeling of guilt and loneliness just won’t disappear. That’s why I became a doctor. I did it to keep myself busy so I don’t have to think about what happened.” 

 

“Baekhyun… I- I really don’t think what happened was your fault. I honestly think that-”

 

Before Chanyeol could even finish his sentence, Baekhyun quickly snatched his fists away from the taller male’s hands and took a swig of his beer. “Forget it. Sorry I told you about my lame story,” Baekhyun said, feeling a little guilty when he saw the how dejected Chanyeol looked. Although Chanyeol looked hurt, Baekhyun knew what he did was right. He couldn’t allow Chanyeol to get too close to him because just like anyone who got too close to him, they disappeared. Baekhyun wouldn’t allow that to happen to Chanyeol. “Why don’t you tell me about what happened to you?” 

 

This time, Chanyeol sighed sadly. “I’ve also lost someone I loved. However, it was honestly anything but romantic. Our relationship is considered what they call unrequited love,” the taller male admitted. “The person loved someone else… and I just recently found out that person died a few years ago. I was so angry that I stumbled upon a bar, found someone who took me in for a while, but… this person is kind of crazy.” Chanyeol paused for a second almost as if he was thinking about whether or not he should continue. Eventually, Chanyeol opted to stay silent. 

 

“I… see,” Baekhyun replied softly, not really having much to say. He was a doctor, not a therapist. “I’m sorry for your lost and for what happened.” 

 

“I’m sorry for yours as well.” 

 

With that response, both men became silent. What was once comfortable silence surrounding them suddenly became an awkward silence, and Baekhyun hated it. The atmosphere became slightly tense, and before it could get too tense, Baekhyun finally whispered that he wanted to go home. 

 

“Sure, I-I can take you back home.” 

 

“Thanks, Chanyeol,” Baekhyun replied with nothing else to say after that. 

 

Was this really how it was going to end? 

 

Just when Baekhyun felt like he was having fun in his life, the person who actually made him feel happy and excited was going to disappear. 

 

Maybe this was supposed to happen. Maybe he and Chanyeol just weren’t made for each other despite having to gone through a similar experience of losing someone precious in their lives. 

 

Maybe Chanyeol just wasn’t the right one for him.

 

Maybe.


	7. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

 

One week had passed ever since Baekhyun had last seen Chanyeol. The last time he saw him was the night when Chanyeol treated Baekhyun to a meal at the convenience store. Even though only a week had passed, the memory had become nothing but a blur to Baekhyun. 

 

All he could remember was that they laughed, talked about their lives, and just when they got a little too close, Baekhyun decided that it was enough. Soon enough, Chanyeol brought him home, and that was all there was to it. Chanyeol didn’t say much after he had dropped the doctor off at his home. The man neither asked for his number nor did he ask to hangout again after that. 

 

If Baekhyun had to be honest, he was slightly disappointed only because he really thought that maybe Chanyeol could have made a good friend. However, the more he thought about it that night, the more grateful he was because Baekhyun didn’t want another person to get too close to him again. The loneliness he felt that night hurt a little more, but Baekhyun felt like it was what he deserved, and nothing could change his mind. 

 

Baekhyun’s life soon turned back to normal after that night. He had not seen the tall man, and it seemed like Jongdae and Minseok got the idea that Baekhyun didn’t want to talk too much about Chanyeol when he came into work one day being more silent than usual. 

 

Just like that, Chanyeol was nothing more than just a memory, a stranger. He was just one of the many patients that Baekhyun took care of, and once he was done taking care of them, they’d leave him. At least that was what Baekhyun thought. 

 

He thought that Chanyeol wouldn’t come back again. Baekhyun really thought that that would be the case, but Chanyeol was able to prove him wrong. 

 

When Baekhyun’s shift ended that day, he quickly said his farewells to his friends and coworkers before leaving the hospital. Just when he was going to search for his car, a loud, deep voice could be heard from across the street. Squinting, Baekhyun looked across from him to see who it could be, and he couldn’t believe who he saw. 

 

“Baekhyun!” 

 

“C-Chanyeol?” 

 

Suddenly, Baekhyun felt like he couldn’t move. It was as if he was stuck and frozen, unable to make any movements. Instead, Chanyeol was the one who walked across the street, getting closer to Baekhyun as he did so. 

 

Baekhyun almost wanted to run away. He wanted to scream at Chanyeol, yell at him for trying to get too close to him, but Baekhyun found himself unable to do so. Helplessly, he merely stared at the tall figure who walked across the street and was now standing directly in front of Baekhyun. 

 

“Hi,” Chanyeol greeted, voice so soft and gentle. “I… I know you probably weren’t expecting me.” 

 

“You’re right,” Baekhyun blatantly admitted. “I wasn’t expecting you at all.” 

 

“Look, Baekhyun, I’m sorry about what happened last night. I’m sorry I asked about what happened in your past. It was insensitive of me, and I regret it.” 

 

Baekhyun looked up at Chanyeol and saw the apologetic look plastered on his face. Sighing, Baekhyun replied, “It’s not your fault. I’m sorry if I made everything too awkward. I… have my reasons for doing so.” 

 

“Oh, okay.” 

 

“So…” Baekhyun said, wanting to break the awkward silence that was already growing between them. “What brings you here? Because if you only came here to apologize, then you’re stupid. I was never mad at you in the first place, so you shouldn’t even be apologizing, by the way.” 

 

“Actually,” Chanyeol started just as he took his hand out of his pocket. “I was looking for you anyway.” 

 

Baekhyun gasped as when he saw what Chanyeol was talking about. Immediately, Baekhyun gently held onto Chanyeol’s hand and began to inspect it, instantly noticing the blood and large cut that ran from the top of Chanyeol’s thumb to his wrist. 

 

“What the hell?!” Baekhyun nearly screeched, feeling his heart ache because he knew this would definitely require stitches. “What did you do to yourself?” 

 

“I don’t know… it just kind of happened,” Chanyeol admitted shamelessly. 

 

“You fool!” Baekhyun cried out as he quickly dragged Chanyeol into the hospital, wanting to immediately start the operation on Chanyeol’s hand. As he dragged Chanyeol into the hospital, he missed the gentle smile that had been displayed on Chanyeol’s face. 

 

An hour had passed until Baekhyun finally felt like he could calm down a little, the adrenaline in his veins slowly beginning to fade away. Letting out a soft sigh, Baekhyun spoke quietly. “You’re an idiot.” 

 

“I’ve realized,” Chanyeol chuckled as he inspected his wrist that was now nicely stitched up and wrapped in white gauze tape. “You’ve done a good job.” 

 

Baekhyun merely rolled his eyes but smiled anyway. “It’s late now. How did you get here anyway?” 

 

“I walked.” 

 

“Do you live close?”

 

Chanyeol stayed silent for a moment before he looked at Baekhyun with an absolute straight face. “I walked five miles to get here.” 

 

Baekhyun widened his eyes, surprise and shock filling his orbs. “You walked five miles here with a bleeding hand?! What is wrong with you? You could have at least called the ambulance.” 

 

The taller male casually shrugged, completely oblivious to the urgency hidden within Baekhyun’s voice. “I wasn’t that concerned.” 

 

“You should have been!” Baekhyun scolded, not knowing where this sudden anger was coming from, but he was clearly pissed if him raising his voice wasn’t a clear enough indication. “Something could have happened. You could have lost a lot of blood.” 

 

“But I didn’t,” Chanyeol refuted back. 

 

“But it  _ could _ have happened.”

 

“But it  _ did not _ .” 

 

Baekhyun clenched his fists that had formed ever since Chanyeol told the doctor he walked five miles to get to the hospital. He had to be careful of his actions. At that moment, he and Chanyeol were nothing but a doctor and a patient. Baekhyun had to remind himself that he and Chanyeol weren’t even friends in the first place. Despite that, Baekhyun wasn’t cold-hearted enough to not care for Chanyeol’s wellbeing. Maybe he cared a little more than a doctor should, but it was only because he and Chanyeol had a mutual understanding of what if felt like to lose someone who was dear to them. Maybe that was why Baekhyun felt more connected to Chanyeol than any of the other patients he had. 

 

“Do you at least have a ride from someone?” Baekhyun finally asked, unclenching his fists as the anger slowly seeped away. 

 

Chanyeol shook his head.

 

“Can you at least call a taxi or something?”

 

“I don’t have enough money,” Chanyeol responded as he stood up, already getting ready to leave. However, Baekhyun wasn’t having any of that and stopped the man from exiting the room. 

 

“Wait… Chanyeol…” Baekhyun hesitated when the taller male bore his eyes onto the doctor. “Let me give you a ride. My shift already ended, and I was going to go back home anyway. I can drop you off before I go back home.”

 

It was silent for a few seconds. Chanyeol stayed mum, not saying anything as he stared at Baekhyun. It wasn’t until a few seconds later did Chanyeol eagerly nod. “I’d really appreciate that. Thank you.” 

 

Baekhyun only nodded in response, deciding not to say anything so as to not make the tension around them too awkward. 

 

Before Baekhyun knew it, he had someone in the car who, for once in a long time, wasn’t Jongdae or Minseok. It was someone who was neither a friend nor foe. Despite seeing Chanyeol a few times already, Baekhyun still told himself that he thought of the taller male as nothing more than a patient or even acquaintance. 

 

Once Chanyeol got into the car with Baekhyun, the latter asked for the patient’s address before he drove off. As Baekhyun drove to Chanyeol’s house, he turned on the radio, setting the volume so it wasn’t too loud or quiet in the car. The two men sat in silence, neither one of them said a word to each other. 

 

It wasn’t until Baekhyun entered a rather shabby looking neighborhood did the doctor finally speak up, raising a brow with curiosity. “You actually live around here?” 

 

“Yeah,” Chanyeol answered blatantly as he pointed to a house and asked Baekhyun to stop the car. “Oh, that’s my house.” 

 

Baekhyun stopped the car and looked up in the direction where Chanyeol was pointing to. To say that Baekhyun was shocked would be an understatement. He was utterly petrified-- disgusted even. What he saw was a house, but it wasn’t an ordinary looking house. The house looked like it had just withstood a hurricane and was now barely standing. Baekhyun tried to look a little more carefully, and then he noticed that the original house was supposed to be white, but it seemed as if all the white paint had been chipped off, leaving nothing but a bare, unsturdy house. 

 

Baekhyun bit down on his lower lips as Chanyeol graciously thanked the doctor for dropping him off and closed the door. 

 

Baekhyun was so close to start the car again and drive away, hoping that this would be last time he would ever see Chanyeol. However, for some reason, Baekhyun couldn’t move. It was as if his heart was telling him to stay and to do something. His heart was demanding him to do anything except let Chanyeol go inside his house. 

 

Baekhyun mentally slapped himself, asking himself why the hell he was thinking about this. Chanyeol was just a mere patient to him; he shouldn’t even be Baekhyun’s main concern in the first place, yet somehow Chanyeol became the one and only thing that Baekhyun could think about. All he could think about was how lonely Chanyeol must feel to live in a house like that after losing someone so close to him. 

 

Baekhyun knew the pain as well. He knew the pain of walking into a dark, empty house when there should have been a child and wife waiting for him. He knew what the pain felt like more than anyone, so maybe that was the reason why he couldn’t just leave. Maybe that was why Baekhyun rolled the windows down and yelled out Chanyeol’s name. And maybe that was the reason why Baekhyun asked his patient, this stranger to stay at his place just until his wrist heals. 

 

Chanyeol could only stare at Baekhyun with widened eyes, wondering if this was some kind of joke. Baekhyun could only offer the man a tiny smile, assuring him that none of this was a joke, and he was completely serious. 

 

“B-Baekhyun… are you sure about this? I mean… I’m completely capable of living alone, and-”

 

“It’s okay. I’ve thought about it for a while,” Baekhyun explained with honesty. “There’s no way I’m letting you injure yourself again, so I’m allowing you to stay at my place so I can, you know, make sure nothing happens to you.” 

 

“I-I… wow… um… thank you, Baekhyun. I really appreciate it.”

 

Smile growing a little more, Baekhyun softly responded, “Just go and get your things.” 

 

And with that, Chanyeol quickly went inside his house to get his things before entering Baekhyun’s car again, ready to go home with the doctor.

 

* * *

 

Baekhyun’s house was as casual as it could be. Despite earning a lot of money from job of being a doctor, Baekhyun never thought about moving. It was something that Baekhyun couldn’t bear to think of because the current house he lived in was a place where he and Taeyeon first lived in. It was the house where he and Taehyung’s relationship gradually grew. It was a house filled with precious memories that Baekhyun didn’t dare to forget and leave behind.

 

Although the house was small, it was definitely big for one person to live in. It also had everything Baekhyun needed, so there really wasn’t a reason for him to move. 

 

Even though Baekhyun didn’t see his house as that extravagant, Chanyeol most likely begged to differ. As soon as they walked in to the house, Baekhyun could hear Chanyeol let out a soft gasp. Looking behind him, Baekhyun could see that Chanyeol’s eyes were widened in surprise. 

 

“Honestly, it’s not much,” Baekhyun admitted truthfully, but Chanyeol shook his head. 

 

“I’ve never been in a house as nice as this one before. It honestly feels like a mansion to me. I feel like I’m intruding.”

 

Baekhyun chuckled shyly. “Don’t worry, you’re not.” 

 

Before Chanyeol could pop his eyes open, Baekhyun quickly gave the patient a tour of the house, showing him where everything was so that the man wouldn’t get lost. 

 

“You can sleep in the guest room,” Baekhyun finally said as he finished the tour of his house. “I’ll get you some extra blankets.” 

 

Chanyeol thanked the doctor before he noticed a room that Baekhyun had yet to show him. “Hey, what’s in this room?” the taller male asked as he placed his hand over the doorknob. However, before he could even twist the knob open, Baekhyun immediately stopped him, his hands gripping tightly onto the man’s wrist. 

 

“This room is off boundaries,” Baekhyun declared, voice stern and steady and almost dangerously low. The doctor almost felt kind of bad that he nearly scared his patient.  _ Almost _ . 

 

The room that Chanyeol had almost tried to open just happened to be Baekhyun’s son’s room. After the death of his son, Baekhyun couldn’t take the pain anymore. He couldn’t bear to see his son’s room, knowing that his Taehyung should have been in there. It hurt Baekhyun everytime he passed by the little boy’s room. Just when Baekhyun couldn’t take the pain anymore, he knew he had to do something. Instead of destroying the room, Baekhyun had covered every inch of furniture within the room before closing the door and locking it, for Baekhyun didn’t have any plans of ever stepping into the room again. 

 

He knew that if he ever stepped foot into that room again, the pain would come crashing down upon him, harder than ever. 

 

“Sorry,” Baekhyun apologized, trying to keep his voice soft and calm. “Just… don’t ever go into this room. Please.” 

 

Chanyeol quickly nodded, a clear indication that he understood Baekhyun’s request, and he immediately stepped back from the room. “I’m sorry for trying to open the door. My curiosity got the best of me,” the taller male admitted honestly. 

 

“It’s okay.” Baekhyun quietly reassured before he soon lead Chanyeol to the kitchen. It was a simple room in which Baekhyun, unfortunately, rarely used. It wasn’t because Baekhyun didn’t want to use the kitchen. It was simply because he had no time at all to cook himself a decent meal, which was why he’d often order takeout. Baekhyun, being a doctor, knew more than anyone that it wasn’t exactly healthy, but he really didn’t have much of a choice. 

 

Not only was time an issue but also because of the fact that Baekhyun didn’t really have anyone to cook for anymore. When his son and wife had been alive, Baekhyun would often put a lot of effort into cooking decent meals for them. However, now that his family was gone, Baekhyun didn’t care much about cooking for himself or anyone else. 

 

Now that Baekhyun actually had a guest in his house, he knew he shouldn’t order takeout. The least he could do was cook a decent meal for his very own patient. Unfortunately, he looked through his refrigerator, and he frowned upon seeing how empty it was, save for some leftover vegetables and other food he thought most likely expired. 

 

“Damn it,” Baekhyun groaned, hoping that Chanyeol wasn’t able to hear him. Unfortunately, the taller male happened to catch what he just said and asked the doctor what happened. 

 

Baekhyun sighed softly. “I wanted to make a decent meal for you since you’re staying over, but I really don’t have anything in this house. I apologize for being so unprepared.” 

 

With that said, Baekhyun looked down; he was slightly embarrassed for admitting that he didn’t have any food prepared. However, all embarrassment was gone when a wave of laughter was heard throughout the kitchen. Baekhyun suddenly looked up only to see that Chanyeol was hysterically laughing while clapping his hands. 

 

“You don’t have to treat me like some king, Baekhyun. I’m good with eating anything to be honest,” Chanyeol responded as he wiped the tears of laughter away from his eyes. “Besides, you letting me stay in your house is good enough for me. You don’t even have to feed me or anything.” 

 

Baekhyun hummed, but he still wasn’t satisfied. He had to at least get something so the two of them could eat. “I guess I’ll just order pizza?” 

 

“That works for me,” Chanyeol assured. 

 

Baekhyun nodded as he took his phone and dialed the pizza store. While waiting for the person to pick up, Baekhyun asked Chanyeol what he wanted, and the latter responded with pepperoni pizza. When the person on the line finally picked up, Baekhyun placed the order of two slices pepperoni pizza and two slices of pineapple pizza. As soon as Baekhyun hung up the phone, he saw the look of disgust on Chanyeol’s face.

 

“What?”

 

“You like pineapple pizza?” Chanyeol questioned cautiously. 

 

Baekhyun leaned back on the kitchen counter as he crossed his arms together over his chest. “Yeah, and what about it?” 

 

Chanyeol feigned a gasp. “You treacherous monster.” 

 

“Hey, what’s so bad about pineapple pizza?” 

 

“Well, the fact that tropical fruit should not be put on Italian dishes at all!” 

 

“Have you ever tried pineapple pizza?” Baekhyun tested, a slight smirk showing on his face.

 

“No, but I can only imagine how disgusting it is.” 

 

This time, Baekhyun nearly gasped before he retorted, “At least I didn’t get a generic pepperoni pizza. There’s nothing special about that.” 

 

“But at least it makes sense,” Chanyeol replied. 

 

The two men continued to argue about pizza toppings until the doorbell rang, finally saving Baekhyun’s energy from arguing with his patient about pizza toppings. However, no matter how much Baekhyun didn’t want to admit it, talking to the man about pizza toppings surely kept his mind from thinking about his son for a while. Baekhyun actually felt relieved for once, for the thought of his son dying wasn’t on his mind. Baekhyun soon thought that hanging out with Chanyeol brought more good than harm. 

 

When Baekhyun went to get the pizza and return to the kitchen, he and Chanyeol immediately dug in. They ate in silence, neither one of them were saying a word as they consumed their food. Baekhyun knew that Chanyeol was throwing him weird glances for eating pineapples on pizza, but the doctor only managed to ignore the patient. 

 

“So,” Chanyeol started after taking a sip of his soda, breaking the silence that lingered between them. “I have a question for you.” 

 

Baekhyun looked at Chanyeol for a second before hesitating to answer. 

 

“You’re not obliged to answer if you don’t want to,” Chanyeol assured the doctor. 

 

Although Baekhyun still hesitated, he nodded nonetheless. “Okay, what’s your question?”

 

“Why don’t you have any pictures hanging in your house?” 

 

That question certainly caught Baekhyun off guard, and he immediately stopped chewing on his slice of pizza as he looked at Chanyeol almost as if the man was crazy. “I didn’t think anyone would’ve noticed,” Baekhyun said slowly, voice shaking a little from hesitating to answer his patient’s question. 

 

The reason why Baekhyun didn’t have any pictures of his family hanging in his house was simple. It was because Baekhyun knew if he ever saw his family again, the painful memories of them passing away would return to him. It took him days, weeks, months, and even years to forget about the memories of them passing away. If he ever saw them again, Baekhyun didn’t know if he could bear the agony all over again. 

 

Baekhyun had explained that to Chanyeol, and it seemed like the latter understood, for he didn’t say another word about Baekhyun’s family again. 

 

It was rather late by the time the two men finished their dinner. As soon as Baekhyun finished cleaning up the kitchen with the help of Chanyeol, he stated he would be going off to bed. It was a lie, of course. He knew he wouldn’t be sleeping. Just like any other night, Baekhyun knew that he’d end up staying awake after having his usual nightmare. This night would be no different. 

 

Baekhyun bid Chanyeol goodnight before he went off to his room. Honestly, there wasn’t any point in trying to get some rest when he knew it’d be impossible. However, it wouldn’t hurt to try, Baekhyun thought to himself as he shut his eyes closed.

 

Not even two hours had passed did Baekhyun immediately open his eyes, mind consumed with nothing but those frightening nightmares that he’d get every time he slept. After looking at the time only to see that it was 2 AM in the morning, he knew that there was absolutely no way he’d be able to sleep for the rest of the night. 

 

Without even trying to go back to sleep, Baekhyun immediately got up from his bed. He first washed up, hoping that it would help him get rid of the remnants of the nightmare that was stuck in his mind. Unfortunately, it didn’t help. Baekhyun could still remember what happened in his nightmare. He could still remember the look of his son’s face in his nightmare when Taehyung screamed for him to save him. Baekhyun couldn’t help but wince when he heard a scream linger in his mind despite knowing that it was all in his head.

 

“Fuck…” Baekhyun whimpered agonizingly as he wiped his tear-stained face. “Fuck…” the doctor repeated, the nightmare of his son dying felt so real. It was like this everytime. Every night, Baekhyun had to face his son’s death. It was as if the more Baekhyun tried to escape reality, the closer reality would catch up to him. 

 

Baekhyun wanted to scream. He wanted to scream his frustration out, but the sudden thought of a guest staying in his home suppressed his urge to scream. Baekhyun tried to keep his breaths even, hoping that that would at least calm him down. It helped a little bit, but it wasn’t enough. 

 

Though it usually didn’t work, Baekhyun decided he needed a glass of water to help him calm down a little bit. 

 

Without wasting another second, Baekhyun slowly stepped out of his room and quietly tiptoed to the kitchen. He didn’t want to wake up the guest in his house, which was why he tried so hard to be as silent as possible. However, just before he reached the kitchen, he noticed that the lights were still on. 

 

Baekhyun could’ve sworn he turned the lights off before going to sleep. Feeling slightly skeptical, Baekhyun searched for the nearest object in sight, which coincidentally turned out to be a baseball bat. With a baseball bat in hand, Baekhyun slowly made his way to the kitchen. However, when Baekhyun was just a few feet away from the kitchen, Baekhyun thought he smelled ramen being made. 

 

“What the fuck?” he whispered softly, questioning who could be making ramen at this house. 

 

Wanting an immediate answer, Baekhyun instantly stepped foot into the kitchen as he screamed, “Who are you and what are you doing in my kitchen?!” Baekhyun’s jaw dropped as soon as he saw who exactly was in his kitchen. “Chanyeol?!” 

 

The taller male only gave the doctor a sheepish grin. “Hi,” Chanyeol greeted as he waved awkwardly to the doctor. “I couldn’t sleep and I was still a little hungry. I found some ramen in one of your cabinets. I hope you don’t mind if I used two packages.” 

 

Baekhyun was absolutely speechless. He took a glance at the clock and couldn’t believe his eyes. It was more than 2 AM in the morning, yet he had one of his patients in his kitchen, making ramen. “Uh… I don’t mind, but don’t you think it’s a bit late?” Baekhyun was eventually able to say.

 

Chanyeol also took a glance at the clock before he casually shrugged. “I can’t even sleep, so I don’t really find it that late.” 

 

Baekhyun frowned as he walked closer to the guest. “Why can’t you sleep?” 

 

“I’m scared…” Chanyeol admitted right away, avoiding eye contact with the doctor. 

 

“Scared of what?” 

 

“The nightmares.” 

 

Baekhyun paused before he could get too close with his patient. “You get nightmares?” 

 

Chanyeol simply nodded. 

 

Baekhyun wasn’t sure how he was supposed to feel with this newly found information. He knew that Chanyeol was greatly affected from losing the love of his life, but he didn’t know that it would affect him to this extent. For some reason, to know that someone else understood the same pain as him and be greatly affected made Baekhyun realize that he and Chanyeol had a lot more in common than he thought. 

 

“How about you, Baekhyun?” Chanyeol questioned, finally looking into Baekhyun’s eyes this time. “Why are you up?” 

 

“I… also get nightmares,” Baekhyun stated with honesty. “I haven’t gotten proper sleep ever since… two years ago.” 

 

“It’s understandable. After losing someone you love, your mind just can’t help but think about that loved one,” Chanyeol said softly as he continued to look into Baekhyun’s eyes. “But then there are always going to people who think you’re crazy.” 

 

With that response, Baekhyun’s ears instantly perked up. “Right? And then these people tell you to at least try to get some sleep or try to forget about that person, but they just  _ won’t _ fucking understand.” 

 

“Exactly, and no matter how hard you try to explain to them, they just won’t understand.” 

 

Baekhyun slowly widened his eyes as he stared deeply into Chanyeol’s eyes and almost saw his reflection within those deep, dark orbs. While Baekhyun was so absorbed into staring into Chanyeol’s eyes, he almost didn’t hear what Chanyeol had to say to him, so Baekhyun had to ask the patient to repeat what he just said. 

 

“I said,” Chanyeol slowly started, “I said I understand what you’re going through. I know how you feel. I know very well, Baekhyun.” 

 

For once, just for once, Baekhyun wanted to hear those words. He wanted to hear that he wasn’t the only one who was probably losing his sanity. Now, Baekhyun was actually able to hear those words from not even Jongdae or Minseok but this random stranger, Park Chanyeol. 

 

“I understand what you’re going through as well, Chanyeol.” 

 

“I guess that makes the two of us, right?” Chanyeol said, a soft smile slowly appearing onto his face. 

 

“Yeah,” Baekhyun later responded with a light chuckle. “I guess you’re right.” 

 


	8. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

 

If Baekhyun had to be completely honest with himself, he would have to admit that having Chanyeol as his guest wasn’t as bad as he thought it would be.  

 

Although Chanyeol had only been living in Baekhyun’s house for a week, Baekhyun was already starting to get used to the taller male’s presence in his house. For Baekhyun, it felt nice to come to a house where he wouldn’t be met with only darkness and silence. Ever since Chanyeol started staying in Baekhyun’s house, the taller male had offered to at least cook dinner whenever Baekhyun returned home from work as a compensation for allowing him to stay at the doctor’s house. 

 

Baekhyun did have to at least admit that Chanyeol was a pretty good cook. At least the taller male was a better cook than he was. 

 

While Chanyeol stayed at Baekhyun’s house, this allowed the doctor to be able to watch over Chanyeol and make sure that he wouldn’t have any more injuries. Not only that but he was also able to check on Chanyeol’s hand and make sure that it was healing properly. Luckily, Chanyeol’s hand was healing just fine, which meant that Chanyeol would be allowed to go back to his own house soon. 

 

However, that thought already made Baekhyun’s mouth taste bitter. He didn’t know why, but somehow the thought of Chanyeol leaving him to go back to his own house made Baekhyun feel slightly disappointed. The doctor knew that he shouldn’t be feeling this way. Besides, Chanyeol was merely a patient to him, and Baekhyun knew that he shouldn’t really feel any emotional attraction to one of his patients. However, he and Chanyeol had become pretty close ever since the taller man stayed in Baekhyun’s house. 

 

The two of them would often talk about how they felt whenever Baekhyun returned home from work. In fact, they would talk about anything. From talking about their favorite foods to their favorite songs, Baekhyun was able to learn so much about Chanyeol and vice versa. 

 

No matter how much Baekhyun wanted to deny it, he couldn’t deny the fact that in only the span of one week, he couldn’t even consider Chanyeol an acquaintance or patient anymore. Instead, he saw Chanyeol as a friend. 

 

Baekhyun should’ve liked this, however. He should’ve enjoyed the fact that he made a new friend, but he, in fact, hated it. Baekhyun despised it. Making a new friend certainly wasn’t in his plan because he was scared of letting someone into his heart only for the person to be taken away from him again. Baekhyun was absolutely terrified. This had already happened two times, and Baekhyun didn’t doubt that it would happen the third time. 

 

Despite being absolutely terrified of making this new friend, Baekhyun didn’t have the strength to tell Chanyeol to go. Chanyeol was persistent; he had made it so hard for Baekhyun to not like him, so now the doctor didn’t have much of a choice but to see Chanyeol as a friend. 

 

Thankfully, it hadn’t been that bad. Chanyeol proved himself to be better friend than Baekhyun thought he’d be. At least Chanyeol had the decency to clean up after himself and had offered to cook for the two of them as long as Baekhyun would buy the groceries. 

 

Honestly, Baekhyun would have to admit that spending his time with Chanyeol was rather quite enjoyable. It certainly beat spending his time alone in his dark and dreary house. 

 

Just as Baekhyun was already getting so used to Chanyeol’s presence in his home, Baekhyun was suddenly hit with the reminder that Chanyeol didn’t live in his house. Eventually, the taller male would have to go back to his own sanctuary, and he was reminded by this fact as he was taking a look at Chanyeol’s wrist. The wrist had certainly healed up quite nicely, and there really wasn’t a reason for Chanyeol to stay with Baekhyun any longer. 

 

“Your hand is healing very nicely,” Baekhyun explained to the patient as he continued to check on the hand. “I honestly think you can go back to house by tomorrow.” 

 

“Oh?” Chanyeol said, obviously a little surprised. “It feels like just yesterday when I accidentally cut my hand.” 

 

“Well, you better not have another accident like this again. I really don’t want to see you in the hospital for the third time. No offense,” Baekhyun teased lightheartedly as he put down Chanyeol’s hand. 

 

“I make no promises,” Chanyeol chuckled softly before the room became silent, the two men not knowing what else to say. 

 

“Well,” Baekhyun finally spoke after a long moment of silence between the two of them. “I guess we should go to sleep now? It’s getting late.”

 

Chanyeol looked at the clock hanging on the wall. It wasn’t even midnight yet, but he nodded nonetheless. “Yeah... “ 

 

“Goodnight, Chanyeol,” Baekhyun stated, but before he could go back to his room, Chanyeol abruptly stopped him. 

 

“Wait.”

 

The doctor turned around, surprise clearly shown on his face, for he wasn’t expecting Chanyeol to call out to him. “What is it?” 

 

“I just want to thank you.”

 

Baekhyun gave his patient a questionable look. “For what?”

 

“For taking care of me, and for everything else,” Chanyeol stated as he looked into Baekhyun’s eyes, showing that he meant every word he said. “I mean it, Baekhyun. Thank you… for filling this now less empty heart inside of me.”

 

“I-” Baekhyun tried to say but was interrupted by Chanyeol. 

 

“Goodnight, Baekhyun. Sleep well.”

 

Before Baekhyun could even try to say anything else, Chanyeol had already returned to the guest bedroom. Baekhyun had really wanted to reply that he was also thankful for the taller male. He really wanted to thank the man for keeping him company during the nights when he couldn’t sleep and for the little laughters they shared as they conversed with each other. 

 

It was hard to admit, but Baekhyun would definitely say that he would miss having a friend who shared the same pain as him around. If Chanyeol were to leave, Baekhyun wasn’t sure how he would ever survive those nights of loneliness and pain again. 

 

Trying not to think about the foreboding events, Baekhyun had also returned to his own bedroom, heart feeling heavier than ever. 

 

There was absolutely no explanation for this sudden change of emotions. It was as if a wave of emotions crashed upon him with no warning, leaving Baekhyun more confused than ever. This wasn’t supposed to happen. He wasn’t supposed to grow attached to Chanyeol like this, yet here he was, worrying how he was going to get through the nights without someone like Chanyeol to comfort him.

 

Baekhyun let out a tired sigh as he laid in his bed, eyes wide open. Sleep was the last thing that was on his mind, but with all of these distressing thoughts that were slowly consuming his mind, Baekhyun felt himself being slowly empowered by the world of dreams and nightmares. 

 

With his eyes closed, Baekhyun slowly and steadily fell asleep, completely unaware of what would unfold before him. 

 

_ Baekhyun looked everywhere for his son, but Taehyung was nowhere to be seen. He could’ve sworn the last time he saw Taehyung was when the little boy went to the bathroom, but Baekhyun searched everywhere in the bathroom and his son was still not in sight.  _

 

_ Baekhyun’s hands began to grow clammy, his forehead slowly forming a thin layer of sweat as he searched desperately for his son. The young father watched the other parents around him, looking to see if they may have seen his son, but none of the parents seem to know what was even going on.  _

 

_ “Taehyung!” he cried out, having no choice but to start using his voice to search for his son. He really didn’t want to make a scene at his own son’s birthday party, but this was getting ridiculous. He needed to find his son soon. Every guest was anticipating for the birthday boy to come out and blow out his candles, yet the birthday boy himself wasn’t even there.  _

 

_ Baekhyun’s anxiousness only grew when he received no response. This was definitely not a good sign, and Baekhyun could feel the adrenaline gush through his veins as his heart began to pound in his chest.  _

 

_ Baekhyun just knew this wouldn’t turn out well.  _

 

_ “Baekhyun, my dear,” a voice called out to the young father, and immediately the latter turned around only to be shocked. “Honey, where is he?”  _

 

_ “Taeyeon,” Baekhyun murmured, mind filled with nothing but shock and surprise. This was definitely a dream because Taeyeon had long passed away. This wasn’t supposed to happen. None of this was supposed to happen. “I… I don’t know.” _

 

_ “Baekhyun, where is my son?” the woman asked again, voice steadily getting louder. Baekhyun could see the anxiousness within her eyes, and he wouldn’t blame her because he himself was getting worried. “Baekhyun,” Taeyeon repeated, “Where is he? Where is Taehyung? Where the hell is my son?!”  _

 

_ “I don’t know!” Baekhyun tried to scream back at her, but all of a sudden, Taeyeon wasn’t there anymore. She had completely disappeared, and it was as if she wasn’t even there in the first place. Baekhyun felt like he was going to go insane, or maybe he already lost his sanity and didn’t realize it yet.  _

 

_ When Baekhyun looked around him once again, he noticed that everything had suddenly become dark. Not a single person was in sight. Baekhyun thought he was all alone before he heard soft footsteps coming towards him. Turning around, Baekhyun immediately gasped, his heart finally beginning to steady itself. “Taehyung… sweetie.” _

 

_ It was no one other than his son, and Baekhyun couldn’t have felt more relieved.  _

 

_ “Daddy?” Taehyung whispered, head turning around to look for his father. As soon as the little boy spotted his father who had his arms wide open, his feet began to move towards his father. “Daddy!”  _

 

_ “Taehyung!” Baekhyun cried out in relief, seeing that his son looked completely fine. “Come here.” _

 

_ Taehyung obeyed like always, shoes along with his feet slowly moving themselves towards the young father.  _

 

_ Five feet away. Taehyung was five feet away before he moved closer to his father. As he moved closer, the distance between him and Baekhyun became shorter.  _

 

_ Four feet away.  _

 

_ Three feet away. _

 

_ Taehyung was so close now, and Baekhyun could have just reached his arm out and hold tightly onto his son, but he didn’t. In fact, Baekhyun couldn’t, his body wasn’t moving like how he wanted it to.  _

 

_ Two feet away.  _

 

_ Baekhyun wanted so badly to just hold onto his son, but he couldn’t. He just couldn’t no matter how much he forced his body to just bloody move.  _

 

_ “Daddy?” Taehyung asked, voice so soft that Baekhyun could barely hear his son.  _

 

_ The father wanted to reply back to his son, but he also found that he couldn’t seem to form any words. Baekhyun tried to scream, tried to say something at least, but he couldn’t.  _

 

_ One feet away.  _

 

_ Taehyung was only a feet away before- _

 

_ BANG! _

 

_ Baekhyun saw red splattering before his eyes, and for some reason, that was when he found his voice again. And the first thing he could cry out was “TAEHYUNG!” _

 

_ It was at that moment that Baekhyun realized the harsh, cruel reality. His son was dead. Taehyung died right before his eyes. Baekhyun didn’t know what to say, didn’t know what to do, yet he couldn’t hold the scream that he had been holding back.  _

 

_ Taehyung was gone. _

 

_ He was dead. _

 

_ The little boy would never feel the warmth that he felt while being in his father’s arms ever again. _

 

_ There was no next time. _

 

_ This was the absolute end for Taehyung, and the harsh truth could not have slapped Baekhyun harder than ever.  _

 

_ Baekhyun wailed as he finally moved to where his son was, clutching onto the little boy’s body as if his dear life depended on it. “Taehyung… Taehyung… baby….”  _

 

_ “Wake up….” Baekhyun whispered, not knowing whether or not he was saying it to himself or to his son. All he knew was that he just needed to wake up from this traumatizing nightmare. He needed to get away from this torture. He just needed to fucking wake up.  _

 

_ “Wake up…” _

 

_ “WAKE UP!” _

 

Baekhyun shot his eyes wide open when he finally felt himself gaining control of his body. He woke up only to find himself wailing at the top of his lungs, heart beating sporadically in his chest with his body covered in nothing but sweat. It had been one of those nights when the nightmares were worse than usual. Baekhyun should’ve seen it coming, though. It had been a while since he had a nightmare like that, and it was only a matter of time that he’d have a nightmare like that again. 

 

However, this time, it was different. It felt different from the moment Baekhyun woke up and slowly became more conscious of his surroundings. Baekhyun knew he had been crying, which was the reason for his vision being slightly blurry, but that didn’t affect any of his other senses. As the young doctor became more aware of what was going on, Baekhyun was able to see what exactly was in front of him.

He expected anything but the face of Chanyeol who had nothing but a concerned expression on his face. 

 

“C-Chanyeol…?” Baekhyun whispered softly; he was almost unable to process what was going on, but he knew the face in front of him, and he knew for sure that it was definitely Chanyeol who was in front of him. “W-What-”

 

“Are you okay?” Chanyeol immediately asked, cutting Baekhyun from saying anything else. “I… I heard you screaming, so I instantly came into your room to check if you were okay. I saw you thrashing around, and I thought I should wake you wake. S-Sorry about that.” 

 

“No,” Baekhyun shook his head, still trying to process what just happened. All he knew was that he had a nightmare about his son again, and then he was woken up by Chanyeol. That meant only one thing. Chanyeol must have saw Baekhyun’s most vulnerable side, which was one thing that no one had ever seen. Not even Jongdae nor Minseok, his two closest friends, had seen him so vulnerable before, yet Chanyeol had already seen it. Baekhyun felt nothing but shame. He felt ashamed of himself for probably looking so weak and frail in front of one of his patients. “I should be the one apologizing,” Baekhyun said as he looked down, afraid to see what Chanyeol’s reaction could be. 

 

“Baekhyun, you have nothing to apologize for,” Chanyeol reassured the smaller, petite male as he hesitated but eventually patted Baekhyun’s back. “What… What exactly did you dream about?” 

 

Baekhyun opened his mouth, debating whether or not he should say exactly what he dreamed about, but he closed it. He wasn’t sure if he was strong enough to share his nightmares with someone he only just became friends with. It even took him a few months for him to share his nightmares and thoughts to Jongdae and Minseok, so he hesitated, not knowing if he should tell Chanyeol or not.

 

Though he didn’t say a word, Chanyeol seemed to get the point. “You dreamed about your son, didn’t you?”

 

Baekhyun’s shoulders immediately slumped down as soon as he was reminded of his precious baby. He felt Chanyeol slowly caress his back, the movement giving him slight comfort that he never felt before. 

 

“It’s okay, you know?” Chanyeol explained, voice so soothing and calm. “It’s okay to be afraid. It’s okay to feel vulnerable. You lost someone who was a part of you. No one’s blaming you for being afraid, Baekhyun. Trust me, I know how you feel. I know very well what you’re feeling right now.” 

 

As Baekhyun slowly processed Chanyeol’s words in his head, he began to realize that Chanyeol was indeed correct. For God’s sake, he lost his son and wife. The two most important people in his life were snatched away from him; Baekhyun had every reason to feel afraid, to feel sadness and pain. 

 

Yet all this time, Baekhyun tried so hard to be strong. All of this time, Baekhyun was merely lying to himself. He fed himself nothing but lies. Who was he to believe that he could hide all of his pain alone? Who was he to believe that he could actually fight this battle of depression alone? The realization suddenly came crumbling down upon Baekhyun, and piece by piece, he felt himself slowly beginning to crack open. 

 

Just like a dam that had been opened, the tears immediately came flooding down Baekhyun’s eyes as he sobbed. “I miss them so much, Chanyeol. I-I… I miss them. God… I miss them so fucking much.”

Baekhyun noticed that Chanyeol didn’t even hesitate to open up his arms, and without another thought, Baekhyun buried his face into Chanyeol’s face as he cried into the taller male’s chest, tears soaking into the young man’s clothes. 

 

For once, Baekhyun had someone to cry to. He had someone to hold onto him as he cried about his son and wife. Most of all, this someone knew exactly how he felt, and Baekhyun couldn’t be more grateful. 

 

Despite the people that they lost were different, the pain they shared was nothing but the same. 

 

As Baekhyun cried into his chest, Chanyeol allowed his own tears to fall. He wasn’t sure whether or not it was because he felt empathy for the smaller male or that he felt the pain of losing his own loved one. Nonetheless, the two of them cried together that night, both of them sharing the same pain with one another. 

 

It was at that moment that they knew. They knew they couldn’t be separated from each other. 

 

* * *

 

The next time Baekhyun woke up, it was already early afternoon. Luckily, he didn’t have work that day, so he didn’t panic when he saw that the time was almost 1 PM in the afternoon. However, what almost made him freak out was that he felt that he wasn’t alone on his bed. When Baekhyun turned around, his thoughts were proven to be correct when he saw that Chanyeol was also sleeping on his bed. Baekhyun smiled tenderly at the taller male, for he noticed the distance Chanyeol made sure to put between them before they slept. 

 

It had certainly been a long night for the two men. Baekhyun couldn’t remember that much, but he did remember having one of his nightmares again and then Chanyeol waking him up. He also remembered that Baekhyun had cried as he allowed himself to break down after Chanyeol told him that it was okay to feel pain and anger. He remembered he cried his heart out right into Chanyeol’s chest. 

 

It was definitely the first time he had someone to comfort him after waking up from one of his nightmares. Despite Jongdae and Minseok knowing that Baekhyun often had nightmares, neither of them knew that it was that bad because Baekhyun had never told them. He didn’t want to burden his friends. However, Chanyeol was different. 

 

Chanyeol knew exactly how Baekhyun felt, and the latter trusted the man enough to be able to share his pain. 

 

As Baekhyun stared at Chanyeol while the latter slept, Baekhyun began to think that he needed someone like Chanyeol in his life. He needed a friend that he could share his pain with. Baekhyun knew he couldn’t deny this fact now, but he wasn’t sure how he should reveal this information to Chanyeol. 

 

As he thought about this, Chanyeol began to flutter his eyes, an obvious indication that he was also going to wake up soon. Baekhyun was proven to be correct because in the next minute, Chanyeol had his eyelids completely wide open, eyes still adjusting to the bright light that shone through the room. Baekhyun couldn’t help but let out a soft chuckle as he saw how flustered Chanyeol looked at that moment. 

 

“Hi,” Baekhyun greeted the man with a soft and gentle tone, not wanting to startle Chanyeol after the latter had just woken up. “Good afternoon, Chanyeol.” 

 

The man had looked confused for a minute before Chanyeol sat up on bed. Chanyeol had a concerned expression plastered on his face as he gently held onto Baekhyun’s hands. “Are you okay? How do you feel?” Chanyeol asked in an instant. 

 

Baekhyun responded with a small smile. “I feel a little better. Don’t worry.” 

 

“Are you sure?” 

 

Baekhyun noticed how Chanyeol tightened his grip on his hands before replying, “Honestly, I don’t know. I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel right now. Should I feel sad? Should I be angry? I don’t know.”

 

“It’s okay to feel this way, Baekhyun. You’re not alone in this. Remember, you still have me.” 

 

Baekhyun appreciated the fact that Chanyeol was trying to cheer him up. He wasn’t sure if he’d ever be happy like he once was, but he could try. The least he could do was try to be the happy person he once was before he lost both his wife and son. Trying not to dwell on the thought of them for too long, Baekhyun let out an exhale before looking up at Chanyeol, seeing how empathetic the man looked. 

 

Baekhyun now knew that he and Chanyeol really do have a lot in common. Even though they only met just recently, Baekhyun felt like he could relate with Chanyeol on a lot of things. Thus, Baekhyun decided he wanted to treat Chanyeol to eat lunch with him. 

 

It was honestly the least he could do for Chanyeol, and he wanted the taller male to eat well before he would have to go back to his own house. 

 

After Baekhyun asked Chanyeol, the latter seemed to hesitate, but the doctor was insistent on treating his patient to a meal. Chanyeol really didn’t have much of a choice, so he agreed, but not before thanking the doctor for treating him so well in the past week. 

 

Baekhyun only laughed lightheartedly while Chanyeol continued to thank him, not realizing that he would miss the taller male more than he thought. 

 

* * *

 

Baekhyun had decided to bring Chanyeol to a rather casual restaurant. It certainly wasn’t a five starred restaurant since Chanyeol insisted that he didn’t want anything too expensive, but it definitely was a decent restaurant. It was the least Baekhyun could offer to the taller male. 

 

After the two of them ordered their food, they began to wait. While waiting for their food to arrive, Baekhyun decided to break the silence between the two of them. “I really hope I don’t have to see you in the hospital again.”

 

Chanyeol feigned an offended expression. “Damn it, and I was really hoping you would want to see me again.” 

 

Baekhyun let out a soft chuckle, shaking his head. “That’s not what I meant. I meant that I hope I won’t see you injured again. Besides, if you ever want to meet up again or have a chat, you know where I live. Just don’t go to the hospital because I’ll be busy there.”

 

Chanyeol smirked, raising a brow. “So that means you do want to see me again.” 

 

Baekhyun rolled his eyes as he watched Chanyeol let out waves of laughter. It was honestly a delightful sight to see. For some reason, everytime Chanyeol would laugh, Baekhyun couldn’t help but feel captivated by Chanyeol’s happiness. Knowing that Chanyeol was also greatly affected by losing his loved one, Baekhyun could also tell that Chanyeol was trying his best to make the most out of his life. 

 

Baekhyun wanted to learn from Chanyeol. He wanted to be able to move on from the past and not be so deeply affected by the events that occurred in the past. Baekhyun knew it would take time and a lot of effort, but deep down inside of him, he wasn’t sure if that would ever be possible. 

 

While Baekhyun and Chanyeol continued to chat, their food had soon arrived. They ate in silence, sharing a comfortable silence between the two of them. 

 

Unfortunately, that silence was soon broken by the sound of Chanyeol’s phone ringing. Baekhyun frowned along with Chanyeol who looked at his phone in confusion. In fact, Baekhyun was a bit surprised that Chanyeol got the call in the first place; since Chanyeol had lived with Baekhyun for about a week, Baekhyun had noticed that Chanyeol would rarely ever receive calls from anyone. Hearing Chanyeol get a phone call now only made Baekhyun slightly skeptical.

 

Baekhyun watched with concern as Chanyeol picked up his phone before excusing himself to go somewhere else. Of course, Baekhyun couldn’t protest. Before he knew it, he found himself eating alone, concern and worry beginning to creep up on him. 

 

It wasn’t until long before Chanyeol returned, and Baekhyun couldn’t help but immediately ask what happened. 

 

Chanyeol merely sighed, making Baekhyun even more worried. “My landlord just called.” 

 

Raising a brow, Baekhyun slowly nodded, not sure what Chanyeol was going to say but allowed him to continue. 

 

“She said she’s raising the price of rent. I’m not sure why. She didn’t tell me.” Chanyeol paused, and Baekhyun could see that the man was struggling to say something else. 

 

“There’s more to it, isn’t there?” 

 

Chanyeol hesitated for a second, but he eventually nodded nonetheless. “I… I can’t exactly afford to pay the rent.”

 

So that was the problem. 

 

Baekhyun took a glimpse at Chanyeol, seeing how devastated the man looked. Truthfully, Baekhyun pitied the man. He knew that Chanyeol had gone through so much. From what Baekhyun could remember, he recalled that Chanyeol told him that he didn’t particularly have that much money on hand. His parents were also out of the question since Chanyeol mentioned that they were the last two people on earth he wanted to see. Baekhyun didn’t pry too much into it, not wanting to hurt Chanyeol even more. 

 

For a few minutes, Baekhyun thought about asking Chanyeol if the latter wanted to live with him until things get settled down. Besides, it was the least he could do. 

 

However, Baekhyun was slightly concerned about it as he thought about this, but then he realized that he was already getting used to Chanyeol living with him. He couldn’t say the same for Chanyeol, but the latter did show signs that he had also enjoyed staying with Baekhyun. 

 

Taking a deep breath in, Baekhyun used up every ounce of his courage to ask Chanyeol whether or not he’d like to live with him. “I’m not going to force you to live with me, but the option will be there for you.”

 

“But I wouldn’t want to trouble you or anything, Baekhyun. You’ve already done so much for me.” 

 

“Please, I haven’t done that much,” Baekhyun instantly responded. “Besides, you won’t trouble me at all. In fact, I… I would actually like for you to stay over a bit longer.” Baekhyun looked down, desperately trying to avoid Chanyeol’s eyes. “I may have gotten used to you being in my house.” 

 

Before Baekhyun could say another word, he felt warm, gentle hands slowly wrapping themselves around his own. Immediately, Baekhyun looked up only to see that Chanyeol had such a warm and tender smile plastered on his face. 

 

“If you really want me to,” Chanyeol spoke softly, “I’ll be glad to stay with you. I really do appreciate it. Thank you, Baekhyun.” 

 

Baekhyun wasn’t exactly sure how to respond, so he opted to return Chanyeol’s smile with a smile of his own. Soon enough, the doctor deemed that maybe he’d open up his heart just a little bit more to squeeze someone else in, and that person was no one other than Chanyeol. 

 

Baekhyun knew he would be going against everything he said. He knew that he claimed that he wouldn’t let anyone in his heart again, but maybe… just maybe he could make an exception for Chanyeol. 

 

One last time. Just this one last time, Baekhyun truly wanted to believe that not everyone he loved would be snatched away from him. Baekhyun wanted so desperately for Chanyeol to prove that wrong. 

 

Just one last time. 

 

Baekhyun allowed his heart to open up just a little bit after having it closed for almost two years.

  
  



	9. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

 

It didn’t take long for Chanyeol to move his things from his house to Baekhyun’s. In fact, he didn’t have that many possessions, which only made the moving process a lot easier. The whole moving process had only taken up about two days, for the second day was used for them to make sure that Chanyeol had everything he needed. Chanyeol knew that he most likely wouldn’t ever return back to his old, rundown house, and he wasn’t sure how long he’d be staying in Baekhyun’s house.

 

Baekhyun had reassured Chanyeol, claiming that he really didn’t mind Chanyeol staying over for as long as he needed to. However, Chanyeol still felt guilty, feeling as though he was intruding Baekhyun’s life. 

 

No matter how many times Baekhyun told Chanyeol that he didn’t mind, Chanyeol still took it upon himself to help Baekhyun around the house while he searched for a job. It was the least he could do for the young doctor. 

 

Before long, Chanyeol and Baekhyun were already beginning to fall into a routine. Every morning, if Baekhyun had to go to work, he’d wake up and get ready for work. By the time he would finish getting ready, Chanyeol would be up, breakfast already made. Sometimes, if he had time, Chanyeol would also try to make lunch for Baekhyun. While Baekhyun was at work, Chanyeol would oftentimes stay at home, helping Baekhyun clean up the house. Of course, there were other times where he would try to go out and find a job. 

 

It hadn’t been easy finding a job, however. Every work place he’d try to go to would always reject him. Chanyeol wasn’t sure why, and Baekhyun didn’t want to make Chanyeol feel guilty about it, so he would rarely ask Chanyeol how it was for him to find a job. 

 

Even though Chanyeol didn’t have a job, Baekhyun was lucky enough that his job was able to pay more than enough for the two of them, which was why it wasn’t such a big concern for Baekhyun that Chanyeol had yet to get a job. 

 

Despite not having a job, Chanyeol still did his best to pay Baekhyun back for all the help. 

 

Whenever Baekhyun would return home from the hospital, Chanyeol would already have dinner made. After dinner, the two men would either watch movies or have a chat as they sipped on some beer. 

 

This routine that both men have been doing had already been going on for a few weeks, and as more weeks pass, Baekhyun could already see that his relationship with Chanyeol was growing. 

 

And if Baekhyun had to be honest, he would have to say that he really did enjoy Chanyeol’s presence. He liked the way how Chanyeol put in so much effort in trying to help out the doctor the best he could. Baekhyun also liked how Chanyeol would always try to cheer him up whenever he saw how upset Baekhyun looked. But most of all, Baekhyun enjoyed Chanyeol’s presence simply because he was able to get rid of the loneliness that lingered within Baekhyun’s heart for so long.

 

Of course, Chanyeol was certainly not a replacement for either his wife or son. Chanyeol, however, was becoming the friend that Baekhyun needed so desperately. He was the friend that Baekhyun needed for support and for understanding his feelings. There had been no one like Chanyeol who was able to understand how he felt, and Baekhyun had greatly appreciated Chanyeol for that. 

 

Although Baekhyun was slowly appreciating more of Chanyeol’s presence and even Chanyeol himself, the same could not be said for Baekhyun’s other friends. 

 

Indeed, Minseok and Jongdae had made their skepticism as evident as possible, especially Jongdae. Just like every other day at work, both of them would always ask Baekhyun if Chanyeol had gotten a job yet or if he had moved out yet. Whenever Baekhyun responded that Chanyeol hadn’t, the two nurses would either grimace or not say a word.

 

However, there had been one day when Jongdae continued to speak, and Baekhyun was definitely caught off guard with Jongdae’s spoken words. 

 

“So has Chanyeol moved out yet?” Jongdae had asked just like he would every time he saw Baekhyun. 

 

Of course, Baekhyun always made the same, exact response. “No, he hasn’t.”

 

“Then I’m guessing he doesn’t even have a job yet?”

 

Baekhyun merely shook his head, trying his best not to pay attention to Jongdae because the questions were honestly getting annoying to hear. 

 

“Don’t you think that’s a bit strange? How many weeks has he been staying in your house anyway?”

 

The doctor shrugged as he looked through some of the files and internally prayed for some nurse to page him. “About six weeks?”

 

“It’s been six weeks and he still hasn’t gotten a job?!” Jongdae nearly shrieked and Baekhyun couldn’t help but send a glare at his friend. Both of them knew that it was absolutely unprofessional to shriek unnecessary words at a hospital. 

 

“Jongdae, can you be any more quiet? You know better than this.” 

 

The said nurse only took a deep breath in before he continued, frustration evident in his voice. “Baekhyun, look, I’m just looking out for you. You’re one of my closest friends, and I’m just trying to protect you. I’m just telling you to be a little more aware.”

 

“Of what? Of Chanyeol?” 

 

Baekhyun rolled his eyes when Jongdae nodded. “Yes! Be more aware of Chanyeol! He was being completely strange the first day he was admitted to the hospital. Then later we find out that a lot of his information was missing from his files. Don’t you find that to be a little strange?”

 

“He went through a difficult time, Jongdae. He lost someone he loved. Just leave him be,,” Baekhyun said with a low voice, truly getting irritated by the way Jongdae seemed to be accusing Chanyeol for being some kind of dangerous man. 

 

“So?!” Jongdae exclaimed, keeping his voice softer this time. “You went through a difficult time too, and even now you’re not completely healed. But whenever I see Chanyeol, he seems to be doing just fine.” 

 

“Leave… him… alone.” Baekhyun scowled, having enough of this conversation. Just when Baekhyun was about to get up and leave to see if there were patients who needed him, Jongdae continued to speak. 

 

“It’s almost as if Chanyeol has completely moved on,” Jongdae said softly, but Baekhyun could hear the venomous tone in his voice. “Have you asked what his sexuality was, Baekhyun?”

 

Immediately, Baekhyun turned around, his eyes completely wide as he was completely caught off guard by Jongdae’s question. “What the hell are you talking about?”

 

“Does Chanyeol… like men?” 

 

“What-”

 

Jongdae shook his head, and Baekhyun saw that he wanted to ask something else instead. Jongdae hesitated for a second before he looked directly into Baekhyun’s eyes. “Are you, perhaps, bisexual?”

 

Baekhyun was completely speechless. He wasn’t even sure how to feel at that moment. Was he supposed to feel offended? He didn’t know, but there was definitely one emotion he felt at that moment, and all he could feel was absolute rage. “What the fuck?! You know I had a wife, and you know I even had a child with her! How dare you assume my sexuality!” 

 

Despite Baekhyun’s rage, Jongdae looked completely unfazed as he shrugged. “You never know, right? I mean have you ever found Chanyeol to be somewhat attractive?” 

 

That was it. Baekhyun couldn’t take this ridiculous conversation seriously anymore. Without wasting another second, Baekhyun only rolled his eyes before he angrily walked away. However, as he walked away, he couldn’t help but have Jongdae’s words engraved onto his mind. 

 

_ “Are you, perhaps, bisexual?” _

 

Baekhyun shivered simply from hearing the question again his mind. Although Baekhyun desperately wanted to get rid of the thoughts from his mind, the more he thought about it throughout the rest of the day, the more Baekhyun began to worry. 

 

The fact that he could actually be sexually attracted to men was kind of scary to think about for the young doctor. It wasn’t because he was afraid of liking men. Honestly, Baekhyun didn’t care. The real reason why he was so worried was simply because all throughout his life, he had never once even thought about liking someone who was the same gender as him. 

 

More enough, it terrified Baekhyun to think that he could be attracted to Chanyeol, to be exact. At least, that was what Jongdae had implied, and Baekhyun honestly didn’t know how he would react to Chanyeol when he would have to see the taller male later that night. 

 

Now, Baekhyun was dreading to go back home. He didn’t want to know his own reaction when he saw Chanyeol. How would he even react now that there was this small chance that he possibly  _ liked  _ Chanyeol? Baekhyun truly didn’t have a clue. 

 

As the day continued to linger on and the more the hours passed by, it was eventually time for Baekhyun to dreadfully return home. Usually, Baekhyun would try to hurry up when he would have to return home because he knew that Chanyeol made dinner for him; Baekhyun didn’t want Chanyeol’s efforts to go to waste, so he would usually quicken up his pace, hoping that the food wouldn’t go cold. However, ever since his conversation with Jongdae, Baekhyun tried to take up as much time as possible. 

 

By the time Baekhyun arrived home, he was instantly greeted by Chanyeol who had been waiting by the front entrance, a small frown clearly shown on his face. 

 

“You’re late today. Did something happen?” Chanyeol asked with worry etched into his voice. He helped Baekhyun take off his jacket and offered to help hold his bag, but as soon as he brushed his hand over Baekhyun’s hand, the doctor immediately flinched. 

 

“N-No!” Baekhyun exclaimed nervously as he gripped onto his bag tightly, not noticing the dejected look on Chanyeol’s face. “It’s fine. I got it,” the doctor reassured as he laid his bag down onto the couch. Soon after he settled his things down, he walked into the kitchen only to see that the food had been completely untouched. 

 

“I was waiting for you so we could eat together,” Chanyeol spoke from behind, nearly startling Baekhyun. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

 

“I-It’s fine.” Baekhyun honestly felt like a terrible person at that moment. He knew how much effort Chanyeol put in to his cooking, and he most certainly knew that Chanyeol did not deserve this treatment from him. Baekhyun felt terrible about it, but he honestly couldn’t help it. He couldn’t even look at Chanyeol because he would only be reminded of Jongdae’s words once again, almost as if those words were carved into his brain. 

 

When Baekhyun sat down on the chair he usually sat on, he immediately began to eat. Chanyeol had also sat across from him, and both of them soon ate in silence. 

 

It had been rather unusual for the both of them because Baekhyun would often talk about how his day was and Chanyeol would talk about his day. They very rarely ate in silence, but that day was a lot different, and both of them felt that awkward and, ironically, ear-deafening silence. 

 

Baekhyun tried to eat as quickly as possible, hoping that he’d be able to avoid Chanyeol, but it seemed as if the latter wasn’t going to let the doctor go just like that. 

 

It had been fifteen minutes into their meal when Chanyeol finally decided to speak, breaking that awkward silence between them. “So… how was work?”

 

“It was fine,” Baekhyun merely responded, still not looking into Chanyeol’s eyes. 

 

“I see.” Chanyeol didn’t say much after that, opting to stay silent since it seemed to him that Baekhyun really wasn’t in the mood to talk. 

 

Luckily, for the sake of both of them, Baekhyun finished his dinner early. Before leaving the kitchen, Baekhyun thanked Chanyeol for the meal and then stated that he would be going to his room. This time, he saw the dejected look on Chanyeol’s face and couldn’t help but feel absolutely guilty. Usually, after they had dinner, the two of them would often go into Baekhyun’s living room to either watch some shows or even play card games. This had been the first time Baekhyun would go back into his own room after dinner, and he didn’t blame Chanyeol for looking so upset.

 

Despite wanting to apologize, Baekhyun felt like he just couldn’t. He couldn’t as long as Jongdae’s words still lingered on in his mind. Because he didn’t want to feel even more guilty, Baekhyun quickly hurried on into his room, not forgetting to lock the door behind him. 

 

Once he was in the comforts of his own room, that was when Baekhyun really allowed himself to think. Lying down on his bed, Baekhyun finally allowed his mind to really think about what Jongdae had said to him.

 

_ “Are you, perhaps, bisexual?” _

 

The thought was almost terrifying to think about, but Baekhyun couldn’t help but really think about it. Never once had he actually thought he could be attracted to men. Honestly, Baekhyun wasn’t against it. It was the thought that came so suddenly that really scared him. What would he even do if he was attracted to both genders? Baekhyun guessed that it wasn’t so bad. However, what could be bad was that Jongdae had implied that he was probably attracted to Chanyeol. 

 

Baekhyun sighed, thinking how would things change if he was actually sexually attracted to Chanyeol. Well, first things first, that would definitely make things more awkward between the two of them, for Baekhyun wasn’t sure whether or not Chanyeol could also be bisexual. 

 

Now that Baekhyun really thought about it, he realized Chanyeol never specified what gender his beloved one was. If Chanyeol had a male lover, then that meant that Chanyeol was also probably bisexual, which could make things quite complicated between the two of them. On the other hand, if Chanyeol had a female lover, then that meant that Chanyeol probably wasn’t attracted to men, and then that could also complicate things. 

 

The more Baekhyun thought about it, the more he realized how complicated things could be if he confirmed that he really was attracted to both genders. He thought so much about it that he didn’t even realize that he had fallen asleep, too tired to think about how his relationship with Chanyeol could change since the latter was living in his house. 

 

The moment Baekhyun felt himself regain consciousness, he was immediately startled awake, unable to recall the moment he had fallen asleep. Nonetheless, Baekhyun opened his eyes and checked the time only to see that it was a few minutes past midnight.

 

After staring at the ceiling for a few minutes, debating whether or not he should get up to wash his face because he had yet to do so, Baekhyun found himself to be slightly parched. Having no choice but to get up, Baekhyun soon got out of his bed and headed to the door. As soon as he opened the door, he was definitely not expecting to see Chanyeol in the middle of the hallway… half naked. 

 

Chanyeol was slightly taken aback if his widened eyes weren’t enough of an indication. Chanyeol had a shy smile on his face as he awkwardly scratched the back of his neck. “Uh… hey. Sorry if I bothered you. I had to take a shower.”

 

Baekhyun found himself unable to respond as his eyes laid onto Chanyeol’s body, noticing how the taller male had nicely toned abs and there were still water droplets sticking onto his skin. It hadn’t been the first time Baekhyun had seen the upper part of Chanyeol’s body, but it was definitely his first time actually paying attention to what he saw. Only now did Baekhyun realize that he had missed a lot of the details regarding Chanyeol’s body; one thing the doctor could certainly say was that Chanyeol had a very… very nice body. There was absolutely no point in denying the truth.

 

Baekhyun saw how smooth Chanyeol’s pale skin was, and he could only imagine how hard Chanyeol’s chest and stomach could be, for it was covered in nothing but mostly muscle. Even Chanyeol’s biceps weremuscular, and Baekhyun had never felt so weak just from looking at Chanyeol. 

 

Baekhyun soon realized he had yet to say a word when Chanyeol began to walk closer to him, confusion evident on his face. However, when Baekhyun saw what was happening, he stepped back, causing Chanyeol to immediately stop. “Baekhyun, is everything okay?”

 

“Uh…” Baekhyun mumbled, not knowing what to say. “Just… Just don’t come closer.”

 

“Huh?” Chanyeol questioned as he took another step. However, that one step forward only made Baekhyun take one step back. “Is something wrong? Did I do something to make you… afraid of me?”

 

Baekhyun gasped, instantly denying Chanyeol’s assumption. “No! It’s not you. I-It’s… me.”

 

“What are you saying?” 

 

“I think…” Baekhyun internally debated whether or not he should tell Chanyeol his problems. Unfortunately, the more he looked at Chanyeol’s wet body, the more he found himself unable to form any coherent words. “I… um….”

 

“What is it, Baekhyun?” Chanyeol said more sternly this time, the confusion that was on his face was now replaced with a small frown. “Is it me? If I’m bothering you, please don’t hesitate to tell me. I… I’ll leave if you want me to.”

 

Widening his eyes, Baekhyun unconsciously grabbed onto Chanyeol’s wrist, not realizing he did so until Chanyeol looked absolutely shocked. “No! Don’t leave… It’s not you, believe me.”

 

“Then tell me, what is it?” the taller male nearly pleaded, and Baekhyun felt just awful. 

 

When Baekhyun looked up and took a quick glance at Chanyeol’s face, he noticed how the taller male had a very stern expression on his face. For the first time ever since Baekhyun met Chanyeol, the doctor finally felt the vast size difference between the two of them. He hadn’t felt it much before because Chanyeol would never act dominantly around Baekhyun. Not only that but Chanyeol was also younger than Baekhyun by only a few measly months.  

 

Now that Baekhyun felt terribly vulnerable, he realized how much bigger in size Chanyeol was compared to him. Chanyeol, to him, was truly a giant, and Baekhyun had never felt so frail and weak. 

 

Being under Chanyeol’s scrutinizing gaze, Baekhyun felt like he was suffocating. It had been so long since he had seen Chanyeol so serious. The first time was when he first met the taller male when the latter was admitted to the hospital. Ever since then, Chanyeol had transformed. He had changed and became someone who was a lot more bright and cheery. 

 

Not wanting to make Chanyeol even more upset, Baekhyun decided he should tell the younger male what was really on his mind. Taking a deep breath in, Baekhyun finally spilled it. “I… I might be attracted to men.”

 

Honestly, Baekhyun was expecting Chanyeol to give him a disgusted look, but what he received was a look of bewilderment. “So? I don’t care if you like men or women. You’re my friend now, and I could never judge you based on who you like. Is that what has been bothering you?”

 

_ No _ . Baekhyun had so badly wanted to say that that wasn’t the only thing that was bothering him. It was the fact that he could possibly be attracted to  _ Chanyeol _ . That was the real problem that had been bothering Baekhyun. 

 

“Yeah,” Baekhyun lied, deciding it was best to just keep that information to himself for now. 

 

Chanyeol merely chuckled, not noticing that Baekhyun was still keeping secrets to himself, much to the latter’s luck. “I… I never really told anyone this either, but I’m also bisexual. I don’t know if that makes you feel any better, but at least you know you’re not alone.”

 

“Oh.” Well, Baekhyun certainly didn’t expect that. “I see. I feel honored that you trust me to tell me that, so thank you.” 

 

“No problem,” Chanyeol responded with a gentle smile plastered on his face. 

 

When Baekhyun noticed that he was still holding onto Chanyeol’s wrist, he immediately let go, feeling slightly embarrassed that he nearly had to plead to the taller male not to leave. “Yeah, anyway, you should get some sleep now. It’s been a long day.”

 

The taller male nodded before he said goodnight to Baekhyun and went back to the guest room. 

 

Once Chanyeol was in his own room again, Baekhyun deemed that he wasn’t thirsty anymore, and so he went back into his room as well. It really had been a long day, and nothing seemed better than going back to sleep, even if it meant possibly having nightmares again.

 

* * *

 

Baekhyun woke up the next morning, instantly knowing that something felt wrong. Maneuvering his head to look at the clock, Baekhyun thought that his eyeballs would probably fall out of their sockets when he saw the time. It was already thirty minutes past nine o’clock, which meant he was late for work, something that had never happened once in all of his career. This was his first time ever being late for work, and Baekhyun had never felt so helpless as he nearly scrambled out of bed to get ready.

 

As soon as he got ready in record time, Baekhyun dashed to the door, opened it, and almost ran to the front door, careful not to drop anything as he did everything as quickly as possible. Once he reached the front door and was about to put on his shoes, Chanyeol suddenly appeared in front of him.

 

Stunned, Baekhyun let out a soft gasp in surprisement. “You startled me. I didn’t know you were awake.”

 

Chanyeol chuckled softly, shaking his head. “No, I had been awake since an hour ago.”

 

“I see,” Baekhyun responded as he quickly put on his shoes. “I’m sorry I can’t eat breakfast with you. I’m quite late for work.” Baekhyun would have nearly barged out the door if it wasn’t for Chanyeol who told him to wait. “What is it, Chanyeol?” Baekhyun wondered desperately as he looked at the clock. He really had to get to work, and he already felt guilty enough for being late. 

 

“I actually called the hospital and told them that you were sick.”

 

Widening his eyes, Baekhyun felt his heart almost skip a beat. “What? Why would you do that?”

 

“I actually checked up on you an hour ago. You looked really peaceful when you were sleeping, and I would have felt awful for waking you up,” the taller male spoke softly, aware of the small frown plastered on Baekhyun’s face. “Besides, you really need the rest. I know you’ll probably argue that you don’t, but trust me, you  _ need _ to rest, Baekhyun.”  

 

Somehow, Baekhyun wasn’t sure how he was supposed to feel. There was slight disappointment, Baekhyun deemed because this would be his first time calling in sick when he actually wasn’t sick. Yet, how could he stay disappointed in Chanyeol when the latter thought that he needed rest. With that thought in mind, in an instant, Baekhyun felt all disappointment and anger disappearing. There was no way he could stay mad at Chanyeol when he was only trying to look out for Baekhyun.

 

Heaving a deep sigh, Baekhyun slowly took off his shoes before he looked up at Chanyeol and sent him a soft smile. “Thank you, Chanyeol.” 

 

Chanyeol, of course, responded with a large grin before he turned around, leading Baekhyun into the kitchen where he had already prepared breakfast.

 

While Baekhyun was following Chanyeol into the kitchen, he had been completely unaware of a light, red hue that was slowly forming on Chanyeol’s cheeks. Baekhyun, too, was also unaware of his own heart nearly skipping a beat just the thought of Chanyeol taking care of him. 

 

Two men living in the same house could never have been so oblivious to their own feelings.

 


	10. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

 

Baekhyun’s day off from work was spent with nothing but peace and quiet, except for that hectic morning in which he thought he was late for work only for Chanyeol to tell him that he called in sick for him. 

 

At first, Baekhyun was reluctant in skipping work, for it was his first time not going to work without an actual excuse. Baekhyun felt terribly guilty despite his boss allowing him to take a day off. However, it was because Chanyeol told his boss that he was sick, which was why Baekhyun felt nothing but guilt since he wasn’t even sick. 

 

Eventually, Baekhyun came to accept that he wouldn’t be going to work that day, and he was rather glad that he didn’t go to work. Chanyeol was right; Baekhyun realized he really did need some rest because as soon as he finished his breakfast that Chanyeol had made, he immediately went back to sleep with no trouble. 

 

When Baekhyun woke up, he decided to go to the kitchen, wanting a glass of water. When he arrived in the kitchen, Chanyeol was already there. 

 

“Hi, Chanyeol,” Baekhyun greeted the taller male as he went to fill himself a glass of water. 

 

“Hey,” Chanyeol responded with slight excitement in his tone. “Oh, by the way, I actually have something to tell you.” 

 

Baekhyun looked up at Chanyeol as he drank his water. After taking a few sips, Baekhyun curiously asked, “What is it?”

 

“I got a new job.Two jobs, to be exact.”

 

Immediately, a proud smile appeared on Baekhyun’s face. “No way! Congratulations!”

 

Chanyeol thanked the doctor before the latter asked where he was working at. “They’re rather simple jobs, but I’ll be working in the grocery store in the daytime. Then I’ll be working as a bartender at night. Hopefully I’ll make enough money soon so I won’t have to stick around here for too long. I feel guilty enough for intruding on your life,” Chanyeol stated with a small chuckle at the end, not realizing how the last two sentences nearly crushed Baekhyun’s heart. 

 

Baekhyun had gotten so used to Chanyeol living in his house, so just thinking about the giant leaving his house only made Baekhyun realize just how lonely he’d be without Chanyeol. “R-Right, but I assure you that you really aren’t intruding in on anything.” 

 

The giant shook his head, protesting against Baekhyun’s statement. “You’ve already given me so much, and I really can’t appreciate you enough. I don’t want you to think that I’m using you for my own good.”

 

“You aren’t though,” Baekhyun said softly and quietly as he looked down. 

 

It seemed like Chanyeol didn’t hear because the next thing he said was, “Anyway, I actually start work today. I probably won’t be back until late at night, so don’t wait up for me.”

 

“Oh” was all Baekhyun could mutter as Chanyeol got ready for his first day of work. He watched in silence as Chanyeol packed up his own lunch, not forgetting to make Baekhyun’s lunch and dinner as well. 

 

“Don’t think that I forgot to make you dinner,” Chanyeol teased the shorter male as he gave Baekhyun a wink. “Just heat up the container when you’re hungry. And please… do not forget to eat.” 

 

Baekhyun obediently nodded as if he was a child being scolded for not eating. “I won’t.”

 

“Good,” Chanyeol exclaimed before he was already on his way to the front door. “I’ll call you to make sure you’ve eaten.” That was the last thing Chanyeol said before he stepped outside, leaving Baekhyun alone in his dark and empty house.

Already, Baekhyun felt the loneliness that was creeping up on him. Only Chanyeol was able to make his house warmer and brighter than it usually was, but the taller male wasn’t there, and Baekhyun never realized how much he would miss Chanyeol if the latter actually did leave him. 

 

With a soft sigh, Baekhyun headed back to his bedroom, wanting to take another nap and get rid of this strange feeling that was blossoming in his chest. 

 

* * *

 

Days passed by like usual, and soon enough, days became weeks. It had already been several weeks since Chanyeol started his two new jobs, and to say the least, he was doing quite well. Chanyeol had shown Baekhyun how much he earned, and Baekhyun was quite surprised by the amount Chanyeol was earning. The giant had said that the money mostly came from being a bartender; he had been given so many tips for his great attitude at work. 

 

If Baekhyun had to estimate, then Chanyeol would probably be able to get his own place if he worked for another couple of months and maybe even a few years. It sounded like a long time, but Baekhyun knew from the past that time could pass by in a blink of an eye. 

 

Baekhyun didn’t want to think about Chanyeol leaving him anytime sooner, so he quickly tried to get rid of the thoughts from his mind, not wanting to let go of the giant so soon like that. 

 

Unfortunately for Baekhyun, because of Chanyeol’s two new jobs, both men had less and less time to see each other. Since Baekhyun started work in the morning and got back home late in the afternoon, he wasn’t able to see Chanyeol who started work in the late afternoon and would come back late at night. The only times they were truly able to catch up and chat was during the weekends simply because neither of them had work on those days.

 

However, during the weekdays, it felt like torture for Baekhyun. He never thought he could miss someone other than his wife and son so much that it actually hurt. After Taeyeon and Taehyung passed away, Baekhyun truly believed that there would never be another person in his life where he’d grow so attached to them that it’d hurt when the other person left him alone, but Chanyeol came into his life and changed his life for the better.

 

Thus, it hurt Baekhyun when Chanyeol wasn’t home, leaving him stranded in his own house that he had grown to despise because of the emptiness of it. 

 

It hurt Baekhyun to learn that someone could have such a great effect on him even though he knew that it shouldn't hurt him. Why? Because Chanyeol was not his and probably would never be. To Chanyeol, Baekhyun was just a kind friend who allowed him to stay in his home until he could afford a place to stay. 

 

Baekhyun knew this, but that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt him to think that Chanyeol would eventually have to leave him, and that thought was what scared him the most. Because if there was one thing that Baekhyun was most terrified about, it would have to be being left alone by the people he loved.

Sadly, for Baekhyun, it almost seemed as if everyone he ever truly loved would eventually leave him. Although it had happened twice already, Baekhyun was certainly not prepared for the third time that it could happen. Never. Not in a million years. 

 

Because Baekhyun was so afraid to be left alone for the third time, it made it harder for him to get closer with Chanyeol. Knowing that Chanyeol would eventually leave him, Baekhyun thought it was better to start building up this imaginary wall between him and Chanyeol so by the time the giant would leave, then Baekhyun wouldn’t feel so upset. 

 

It wasn’t the greatest idea that Baekhyun had in plan; ever since he started building this wall, it was evident by the way the house had become even more silent between the two men. Even during the weekends when both of them didn’t have work, Baekhyun would stay in his room, refusing to see or talk to Chanyeol. 

 

Chanyeol had tried to talk to Baekhyun, but it was futile since Baekhyun was stubborn, and he refused to get out of his room to talk to the giant. Thus, Chanyeol had slowly began to give up in trying to talk to Baekhyun, and the conversations that were once shared between them dwindled down exponentially.

 

It wasn’t until a certain Friday night that changed everything, however. It was the night that would change Baekhyun’s life and his relationship with Chanyeol, and neither one of them would have expected it.

 

The day started out like any other day. Baekhyun woke up early in the morning, ready to get to work. After getting ready and packing his things, he went to the kitchen to make himself a cup of coffee. Since Chanyeol started working, he didn’t have the time to wake up in the morning to make breakfast for the both of them. Although Baekhyun was slightly disappointed about it, he couldn’t blame Chanyeol for it. 

 

With his cup of coffee in hand and his bag in the other hand, Baekhyun did his best to get out of the house as silently as possible, for he didn’t want to wake up Chanyeol who was rather exhausted these days from working. Like Chanyeol, Baekhyun wanted him to get as much rest as possible.

 

Once he successfully got out of the house without making too much noise, Baekhyun drove to the hospital, taking the usual route. Unfortunately, since it was a Friday, the rush hour traffic was busier than the other weekdays, so by the time Baekhyun arrived at the hospital, he was already a few minutes late. Luckily, there was no penalty for him as he got straight to work. 

 

“Hey, Baek,” Jongdae greeted the doctor with a bright grin. Ever since Baekhyun told Jongdae that Chanyeol got a job, Jongdae had stopped pestering the young doctor about Chanyeol. It was almost as if Jongdae had completely forgotten the taller male, almost as if Chanyeol didn’t even exist in Jongdae’s world. Baekhyun didn’t mind that Jongdae had finally stopped mentioning Chanyeol, but he couldn’t help but feel that Jongdae was forcing himself to forget Chanyeol. 

 

However, with so much going on in Baekhyun’s mind, he didn’t have the time to bring up his worries to Jongdae. Thus, the thoughts soon faded away, and Baekhyun didn’t have any plans to ever bring up his concerns about Jongdae again.

 

“Hey,” Baekhyun responded to Jongdae as he sat behind the front desk, not forgetting to give Minseok a wave as well. Taking a sip of his coffee, Baekhyun looked through the files of his patients once more, making sure that everything was filled out correctly. He was so concentrated on his task that he was almost startled when Jongdae tapped him on the shoulder. 

 

“Sorry, didn’t mean to startle you,” Jongdae chuckled before he continued. “Anyway, Dr. Kim won’t be here tonight, so that means you gotta fill in for her tonight.”

 

Baekhyun raised a brow in confusion. “What? Why me?” 

 

Jongdae smirked before he answered, “Remember when you called in sick? Yeah, I don’t think the boss is gonna let you go off like that so easily.” 

 

Now that Jongdae reminded him, Baekhyun did remember that day when Chanyeol called in sick for him when he wasn’t actually sick. Well, it only seemed that all lies would result in consequences. Baekhyun made a mental note to himself that he would never call in sick again unless he actually was sick. With a soft, defeated sigh, Baekhyun nodded. “Fine, then can you hand me her files of her patients?” 

 

Jongdae did as he was told and quickly began to work on his own task, allowing Baekhyun to dread alone under two thick piles of papers. This was going to be a long day, and Baekhyun had a feeling that he would need another cup of coffee.

 

* * *

 

It was close to midnight when Baekhyun felt like all of his energy had been completely depleted; he was absolutely exhausted and drained, and there was nothing more he wanted to do except to go home and just sleep. Unfortunately, the doctor still had a few more hours of work before he could go home. This was simply the price he had to pay for missing a day of work. 

 

It had already been a few hours since he started filling in patients’ medical records, and the more Baekhyun wrote them out, the more he felt his handwriting was getting sloppier. Deciding it was time for a break from writing, Baekhyun began to go through the files from his coworker. 

 

Just as he was going through the files, he stopped when one particular patient caught his eye. To say the least, Baekhyun was absolutely shocked. 

 

“Park… Jaemin,” Baekhyun whispered softly as he looked at the patient’s picture and felt his heart almost break. 

 

It seemed like Minseok, who was also working the night shift, heard the doctor and turned around, looking to see what Baekhyun was whispering about. “Are you looking at Jaemin’s file right now?”

 

Baekhyun slowly nodded. 

 

Minseok let out a soft sigh, not sure whether he should tell Baekhyun that Jaemin was a five-year-old little boy who had been on life support for a few months due to a rare brain disease. There was no cure, and the parents of Park Jaemin had already decided that they would turn off the life support machine tonight. Since Minseok knew that Baekhyun would eventually find out, he decided to tell the doctor what happened to the little boy. 

 

“He… reminds me so much of…  _ him.” _

 

Minseok knew exactly who Baekhyun was referring to, and the moment the doctor began to tear up, Minseok could do nothing except feel sympathy for his friend. With a soft pat on the back, Minseok then spoke softly. “I’m so sorry Baekhyun. I really am.”

 

“It’s not your fault. Don’t apologize for something you didn’t do,” Baekhyun replied dryly as he continued to stare at the patient’s picture, caressing the page with his thumb as he was reminded of his son once again.  _ “I miss you, Taehyung. I miss you more than anything else in this world.” _

 

Just as Baekhyun was about to put the file down, for he was unable to bear the memory of his son any longer, a man who appear to be in his early thirties came to the front desk. In an instant, Baekhyun could tell that the man had been crying, the red-filled eyes were more than enough to help him indicate that. 

 

“May I help you?” Baekhyun kindly wondered as the man looked down at his hand, almost as if he was hesitating to talk. However, the moment the man began to speak, he immediately broke down into a sob. Baekhyun quickly handed the man a tissue and waited patiently for the man to calm down a little bit. 

 

“I-I’m sorry… this is so hard for me to say, b-but…” the man stuttered as he continued to sob. “M-My wife and I ready to… let go.” 

 

_ Letting go _ . Oh how Baekhyun learned to hate those words. It was those words that were spoken to him when Taehyung’s doctor told him that his son wasn’t going to live. Baekhyun knew exactly what this man was going through, and he felt nothing but empathy. 

 

“I see,” Baekhyun said, trying his best to speak with a stable voice. “Can I have the patient’s name, please?”

 

The man nodded. “Park Jaemin.”

 

Baekhyun’s heart stung a bit as he confirmed the man was indeed Jaemin’s father. When he confirmed it, he walked with the man to Jaemin’s room. When the both of them entered the room, Baekhyun felt his heart break a little more as he heard a woman let out a loud cry. Baekhyun could only guess that she was Jaemin’s mother. 

 

“Would you two like to give Jaemin some last words?” There was nothing Baekhyun wanted to do except to bury himself into a hole as he watched the man and his wife stay next to their son. He felt like a heartless and cruel monster because there was absolutely nothing he could do but watch the couple sob helplessly next to their son. 

 

“We love you so much, Jaemin,” the woman cried softly as she carded her son’s hair. “Daddy and I promise to continue to love you no matter what. We… We hope to see you soon, J-Jaemin. Sweetdreams, my darling.” 

 

Baekhyun nearly felt his own tears come out because this scene was all too familiar with him. He remembered whispering those exact same words to his own son when he had to turn off Taehyung’s life support. However, because he had to be a professional, he kept the tears to himself and had to pretend like that this was doing anything but affecting his emotions. 

 

It seemed like time was endless as Jaemin’s parents continue to say their last words to their son. Baekhyun felt like he was trapped in hell and was being forced to watch this family say goodbye to their son forever. Everything felt way too familiar, and Baekhyun just wanted to get this over with. As terrible as that seemed, it was the truth. 

 

Just when Baekhyun seemed like he couldn’t handle it any longer, the man slowly looked up into the doctor’s eyes and hesitantly nodded. 

 

_ It was time.  _

 

With slow and steady steps, Baekhyun made his way towards the life support machine. In one second, he flicked the machine off. In one second, the woman’s sobs began to be drowned out in Baekhyun’s mind as his own thoughts were consumed by the memories of his son dying in this very hospital. In one second, Baekhyun’s heart clenched painfully in his chest as he watched the parents of Jaemin cry despairingly. 

 

“I’m so sorry,” Baekhyun softly whispered, knowing that his words were of no help. Despite the couple still crying over their now deceased son, Baekhyun quickly explained the funeral process to them, recalling every detail of the process because he, unfortunately, had to go through it as well. “I-I’ll… leave you two alone now.”

 

Without wasting another second, Baekhyun dashed out of the room almost as if he was suffocating in there. Just as he stepped out, Minseok was on his way to a different room, but he stopped briefly when he saw his friend trembling terribly. 

 

“B-Baekhyun! Are you okay?” 

 

The doctor nodded even though he knew that Minseok very well knew that Baekhyun was anything but okay. 

 

“Look, I’ll have someone take over your shift. Just… go home and get some rest. It looks like you need it,” Minseok said softly as he held onto Baekhyun’s shoulder in an attempt to calm down. “Relax, Baekhyun, or else you’re going to get a panic attack.”

 

Baekhyun tried, however. He tried desperately to keep himself calm, but it was so hard. It was so hard to relax when all he could think about was that poor boy and his parents. 

 

“D-Do you want me to call Chanyeol for you? You don’t seem to be in the right condition to drive right now.” Minseok was about to take Baekhyun’s phone when the doctor gently slapped his friend’s hand away. 

 

“I’m fine. Just leave me alone.”

 

Not even waiting for Minseok’s reply, Baekhyun hurriedly ran off, hoping to get to a place that was empty. He didn’t need anyone to see him trembling from fear and sheer panic. Baekhyun headed to the bathroom, praying that there wasn’t anyone in there. 

 

He was wrong, unfortunately. As soon as he stepped into the bathroom, he saw one of his coworkers who kindly greeted him. Baekhyun didn’t even greet his coworker as he ran off once again, wanting to be completely alone. 

 

Baekhyun looked at the time on his watch and saw how it was already past midnight. Chanyeol wasn’t supposed to be back home yet, which meant the house was empty. Without sparing a second, Baekhyun hurriedly left the hospital to get back home. He knew he was breaking the rules by leaving his shift early, but he had a good excuse. Baekhyun only hoped that Minseok stuck to his words and would have another doctor cover the rest of his shift. 

 

Getting into the car, Baekhyun stepped on the gas pedal, desperately rushing to get home. 

 

When he reached his house, he expected it to be empty but he was thrown aback when he met Chanyeol’s eyes in the living room. 

 

“Baekhyun?” Chanyeol said with concern in his voice. “Are you okay? I thought you would get home later?” 

 

“Something came up at work,” was all Baekhyun could say as he tried to get past the taller male, but the latter had stopped him as he grabbed ahold of the doctor’s thin wrist. Shocked, Baekhyun tried to tug away from Chanyeol’s grip, but the giant was stubborn, and he didn’t seem to want to let go. “Let me go, Chanyeol.”

 

“Something’s clearly bothering you.” Chanyeol turned the smaller male around. With Baekhyun now facing him, the taller male held tightly onto both sides of Baekhyun’s arms. “Tell me what’s wrong.”

 

Baekhyun was now quivering due to sheer panic, and Chanyeol’s hold on him wasn’t helping at all. As Chanyeol stared sternly into Baekhyun’s eyes, the doctor felt his lungs suddenly being depleted of any oxygen, and soon enough, it was getting harder for Baekhyun to breathe. 

 

“Baekhyun?” Chanyeol, of course, had noticed the quickening breaths and the trembling body of the smaller male that he was holding onto; he instantly knew what was happening. Baekhyun was having a panic attack. “Baekhyun! You have to breathe!”

 

Chanyeol realized right then and there that words were easier said than done. He watched helplessly as the smaller male in his hold was having a hard time breathing. 

 

“C-Chanyeol,” Baekhyun managed to wheeze out, catching all of the giant’s attention. “It… hurts.”

 

“Where?” Chanyeol tightened his hold on Baekhyun, noticing the thin layer of sweat beginning to form on the young doctor’s forehead. “Where does it hurt?”

 

“My chest.” Baekhyun gasped out. A memory of his son suddenly flashed through his mind, and that was the moment the storm had finally hit him once and for all. A loud wail came out of Baekhyun’s mouth as he removed himself from Chanyeol’s hold and then clutched onto his chest as if his dear life depended on it. “Oh… God,” Baekhyun panted, feeling the tightness in his chest as it was getting harder and harder to just breathe. 

 

Baekhyun felt his heart was beating way out of its normal pace. He could feel himself slowly losing the consciousness that he had been clinging onto.  _ Maybe this is the end _ . Baekhyun thought as he lost focus on Chanyeol’s face and voice that was desperately trying to tell him to breathe and to relax. 

 

“Fuck, Baekhyun!” Chanyeol exclaimed with anxiety as Baekhyun collapsed onto the floor. “Baekhyun… please.”

 

Nothing. Baekhyun heard nothing, for all he could hear was erratic beats that his heart was making. There was nothing more that Baekhyun wanted other than to end it. Baekhyun just wanted the pain to stop because it hurt. It hurt so much to even breathe at that point. 

 

_ It hurts… _

 

_ It hurts… _

 

_ It hurts… _

 

_ It- _

 

It was when Baekhyun had least expected it did he feel the pain slowly start to vanish. It still hurt, but the pain was much more tolerable, and there could only be one reason why that was. 

 

Chanyeol had placed his mouth onto Baekhyun’s, and before Baekhyun could even be shocked about it, he realized that Chanyeol had kissed him on the lips. It was certainly weird at first, for it had been a long time since Baekhyun had kissed anyone, let alone have a man kiss him. However, the weird sensation slowly dissipated, and soon enough, it left Baekhyun feeling a lot more calm than before. 

 

Chanyeol continued to kiss Baekhyun, however, as he molded his lips into Baekhyun’s and gently cupped the latter’s cheeks as if they were fine delicacies. 

 

Despite having a man kiss him for the first time, Baekhyun felt strangely at ease. Indeed, it was initially shocking, but when he got past that point of astonishment, the feeling left him rather content to say the least. 

 

When Chanyeol began to pull himself back, Baekhyun couldn’t deny that he felt a little disappointed. Already, he was missing those tender and warm lips that were placed on his own. Baekhyun knew exactly what this meant, though; his concerns about being bisexual were true, but Baekhyun didn’t have a problem with that. In fact, he was kind of relieved to figure out what his true sexuality was. 

 

“Baekhyun?” Chanyeol said softly, his voice almost an octave lower, sending chills down Baekhyun’s spine. “Are you… okay?”

 

The doctor quickly nodded as he stared into Chanyeol’s eyes. Though his heart was still beating at a fast pace (but this time it was for a completely different reason), it was definitely a lot easier to breathe. 

 

“W-Why?” Baekhyun couldn’t help but ask. “Why did you-”

 

“Why did I kiss you?” 

 

Baekhyun nodded.

 

“I… I read that holding your breath helps when you’re having a panic attack. And when I kissed you… you held your breath.”

 

“Oh,” was all Baekhyun could mutter out as he lowered his head, avoiding Chanyeol’s eyes. “Thank you, Chanyeol.” 

 

“O-Of course. Anytime.” Chanyeol was about to stand up, but before he could even get up, he noticed the doctor had grabbed onto his wrist. “Baekhyun?”

 

“Don’t. Don’t leave… please?” the smaller male pleaded as he held tightly onto Chanyeol’s wrist, preventing him from getting up. Baekhyun had looked up, and Chanyeol instantly noticed how red his eyes were. He realized instantly that they were red because of the tears that he had shed earlier. Realizing this, Chanyeol knew he couldn’t leave Baekhyun alone. 

 

“I won’t. I’m not going to leave you,” Chanyeol reassured as he wrapped one of his arms behind Baekhyun’s back and the other arm grabbed him under the knees. Making sure that Baekhyun was properly in his hold, Chanyeol almost effortlessly lifted up the smaller male from the ground. He smiled softly when he heard a soft gasp come out from the doctor. “Relax. I won’t drop you. I’m just going to carry you to your room, okay?”

 

It took almost a full minute for Baekhyun to realize what was happening as Chanyeol carried him bridal style to his bedroom. Never before had this ever happened to him, so it took awhile for Baekhyun to get used to Chanyeol’s hold on him. However, as soon as he learned to relax like what Chanyeol had told him to do, he couldn’t help himself but bury his head into the crook of Chanyeol’s neck.  

 

“I apologize for being heavy,” Baekhyun said softly as Chanyeol proceeded to carry the smaller male into his room. 

 

“Heavy?” Chanyeol nearly snorted as he looked down at Baekhyun’s eyes. “You’re anything but heavy. I think you’re perfect. Trust me.”

 

“Thanks, Chanyeol,” Baekhyun said softly with a gentle smile plastered on his face. 

 

When the giant finally brought Baekhyun to his room, he slowly laid the smaller male down onto his bed. “Go to sleep, okay? You need to rest. I’ll be back to check on you.” 

 

Just when Chanyeol turned around, about to leave, Baekhyun grabbed onto the giant’s wrist. “Wait…. Can you stay?” 

 

“A-Are you sure?” Chanyeol questioned with all seriousness in his tone. “I don’t want to intrude your room or anything.”

 

Baekhyun couldn’t help but playfully roll his eyes as he scooted to the other side of the bed. Patting the empty side that was next to him, Baekhyun whispered with a low voice, “Stay.” 

 

With a gentle smile that was slowly spreading across Chanyeol’s face, he cautiously sat on Baekhyun’s bed before laying himself down.

 

The room had suddenly fallen silent, and Chanyeol wasn’t even sure how much time had passed until he could hear the sound of Baekhyun’s soft snores that was reverberating throughout the room. It was a clear indication that the doctor had fallen fast asleep, and Chanyeol couldn’t have been more grateful. Slowly, he let out the breath that he had been holding in and turned his body so that he was laying on his side. 

 

Laying on his side allowed Chanyeol to get a better view of Baekhyun. He knew it was weird to stare at Baekhyun, which was why he was doing it while the doctor was asleep, but he couldn’t help himself from staring at all of Baekhyun’s beauty. He first laid his eyes on Baekhyun’s face, remembering how soft his skin was when he had cupped his face from before. 

 

His eyes lowered itself until he was staring at Baekhyun’s soft, red lips. Smiling to himself, Chanyeol recalled his memory when he kissed Baekhyun to calm the latter down. He remembered how soft and tender Baekhyun’s lips were, and if Chanyeol had the chance, he’d kiss Baekhyun all over again. Of course, as Chanyeol continued to be mesmerized by Baekhyun’s face, he noticed how there was a mole on top of the smaller male’s lips. 

 

Chanyeol chuckled to himself when he soon noticed how there were a lot more moles that were all over Baekhyun’s face and body, and he found it rather adorable, for all those moles were what made Baekhyun so much more unique.

 

At this point, it wouldn’t take a genius to figure out that Chanyeol had fallen head over heels for Baekhyun. The giant remembered exactly how it happened. It was that night when he had woken up due to Baekhyun’s nightmare. He recalled how he had this feeling that he should check up on Baekhyun, and he was grateful for his instincts because Baekhyun had looked so lost and scared back then. 

 

Of course, that wasn’t the sole reason for why Chanyeol began to harbor feelings for the lithe man. It was mostly the small little things that Baekhyun had done for him that only strengthened Chanyeol’s feelings for him. The way that Baekhyun took such good care of him when he injured his hand and just the way that Baekhyun spoke to him were all memories that Chanyeol held dear to him now that he had realized his feelings for the doctor. 

 

The events that occurred tonight only proved to Chanyeol that his feelings were real. He could’ve done anything else to help Baekhyun from having a panic attack, but he chose to kiss him instead, and at first he hesitated in doing so. However, now that he realized his feelings, there were no regrets. 

 

Chanyeol would have to admit it. He… liked Baekhyun. 

 

Grinning to himself, Chanyeol leaned over Baekhyun’s face before he pressed a soft, gentle kiss onto Baekhyun’s forehead. “Goodnight, Baek. Sleep well.”

 

Chanyeol then turned off the lights that Baekhyun had forgotten to do. With the lights out, Chanyeol lulled himself to sleep as he placed an arm protectively over Baekhyun’s body. And while he listened carefully to Baekhyun’s soft snores, Chanyeol found himself slowly losing consciousness; sleep finally taking over him.

 


	11. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

 

Baekhyun woke up the next morning feeling more energized than ever. He had realized why, though. For the first time in a very long time, Baekhyun slept through the night without a single nightmare. That meant that he was able to get a full night’s sleep. 

 

Letting out a soft yawn, Baekhyun soon noticed that there was something laying on his chest. Lifting his head up, Baekhyun widened his eyes a little bit after seeing that it was Chanyeol’s arm that was draped over his body. For some reason, the arm that was practically wrapped protectively around him didn’t bother Baekhyun as much as he thought it would. In fact, it felt rather comforting to know that he was being protected by the giant. 

 

The memories of last night soon came to his thoughts, and Baekhyun couldn’t help but feel a little embarrassed yet grateful. Honestly, if it weren’t for Chanyeol, Baekhyun was sure he would’ve had a full blown panic attack. However, since Chanyeol was able to calm him down before that happened, the doctor couldn’t appreciate the giant any more. Because of that, Baekhyun felt like he owed Chanyeol. 

 

Gently, while Chanyeol was still sleeping, Baekhyun lifted the giant’s arm off his body and removed himself from the bed to get ready for the morning. Since it was the weekend, Baekhyun was able to get more rest because he didn’t have to go to work. 

 

Once Baekhyun got out of bed and got himself ready, he quietly made his way to the kitchen, trying hard to be as silent as possible so he wouldn’t wake up his housemate. After a successful attempt of getting to the kitchen while trying to be quiet, he immediately began to work on making breakfast, despite it being a while since he cooked a meal. 

 

It didn’t take long for his nerves to kick in, for Baekhyun wanted to make the most perfect breakfast. It was his way of trying to pay back Chanyeol for everything the latter had done for him; from Chanyeol having to comfort him when he had nightmares to cooking meals for him almost everyday, Baekhyun knew he had to at least show his gratitude. And, of course, he decided the best way of showing his gratitude was by making a simple Korean breakfast. 

 

Although, to Baekhyun, it wasn’t as simple as he thought it’d be. It had been so long since he had cooked breakfast for anyone (even himself) that when he cracked an egg open, part of the shell got into the yolk. With the more attempts he made to try to make a decent meal, the more frustrated Baekhyun began to get. 

 

“This won’t do,” Baekhyun murmured to himself as he threw out another fried egg that he managed to burn. 

 

“What won’t do?” 

 

Flabbergasted, Baekhyun turned around to see where the voice was coming from only to be met with the sight of Chanyeol’s bare chest. Baekhyun would’ve almost bumped into the taller figure if it weren’t for Chanyeol who immediately caught the shorter male with his bare arms. 

 

“Whoa. Be careful, will you?” Chanyeol chuckled teasingly and ruffled Baekhyun’s hair.

 

The latter looked up in embarrassment, feeling his cheeks grow ever so hotter. Oh how he pleaded to himself that he wasn’t blushing because at that very moment, Chanyeol was holding tightly onto him… without a shirt. 

 

Now, Baekhyun really didn’t want to admit, but he was staring at Chanyeol’s bare front and was actually quite mesmerized by how large and muscular the giant’s abs were. It only made him feel a little bit guilty about himself because all he had was a flat tummy. Though, to be considerate, being a doctor and all, he never really had the time to work out and stuff. 

 

“Chanyeol, where’s your shirt?” Baekhyun couldn’t help but ask. He received a soft laugh that came out of the taller male. 

 

“I woke up only to find you missing, so I got worried and looked for you. I didn’t really have the time to look for my shirt.” 

 

“I see…” 

 

“What? You like what you see?” Chanyeol teased which only earned him a soft, playful slap on the chest. “Sorry.”

 

Baekhyun only rolled his eyes in response before he turned around, unable to contain the blush that he knew was certainly forming on his cheeks. With Chanyeol standing right behind him, Baekhyun tried his best to focus on making breakfast. However, he was failing epically, and it was clearly seen when he realized he burned another egg. 

 

Chanyeol seemed to have seen Baekhyun struggle as the latter cooked because as soon as Baekhyun let out a frustrated groan, the giant immediately came to the rescue. 

 

“Here, let me help.” 

 

And just like that, as soon as Chanyeol held the frying pan, the kitchen immediately became his own. 

 

“I’m sorry you ended up doing all the work. I tried my best to make a decent meal, but it’s been so long since I’ve cooked anything,” Baekhyun said with an apologetic tone as he set the table, as instructed by Chanyeol.

 

“Don’t worry about it. If you really want, I can teach you how to make some simple meals sometime.” 

 

“That’d be… really nice.” 

 

With a smile spreading on his lips, Chanyeol began to set the table. As soon as the table was set, the two men dug in, neither of them saying a word as they munched quietly on the dishes that Chanyeol made. 

 

The silence wasn’t as awkward as Baekhyun thought it would be. Honestly, it felt nice just knowing that he had a companion to eat with him at his very own dining table. Ever since Chanyeol started working, neither of them were able to hang out as much, nonetheless see each other. 

 

“So, Baekhyun.” Chanyeol coughed, breaking the silence between them. Earning the said man’s full attention, the giant looked into Baekhyun’s eyes with nothing but concern. “How are you feeling now? Be honest with me.”

 

“I’d be lying if I said that I was fully okay, but I’m a lot better than last night. Last night… wasn’t something that you should’ve seen, and I apologize for causing such a ruckus.” Baekhyun looked down onto his lap as the events of last night unfolded in his mind. Despite feeling a lot better, guilt was still consuming the young doctor because he had caused so much trouble for Chanyeol. 

 

The taller male seemed to have figured out what was going on in Baekhyun’s mind because it wasn’t until a second later did Chanyeol move his chair so he could be right next to Baekhyun. Once he settled himself down, in an instant, Chanyeol put his arms up, and without a warning, he pulled the smaller figure into a large embrace, allowing Baekhyun to settle his head onto his chest.

 

A soft, surprised gasp escaped from Baekhyun’s mouth when Chanyeol pulled him in, but the initial shock of what just happened disappeared and comfort soon settled within the doctor. Being in Chanyeol’s arms, Baekhyun actually felt… safe. It was something he rarely felt ever since the two most precious people in his life were gone, but now that he finally had Chanyeol, Baekhyun didn’t feel any remorse.

 

“You have nothing to apologize for,” Chanyeol said softly, keeping his voice low. “You’re my… You’re my friend, and I care deeply about you. When I kissed you, I had no regrets, and I hope you don’t have any either.”

 

Of course, Baekhyun couldn’t regret it. Chanyeol saved his life, and Baekhyun couldn’t be any more grateful. “I don’t.”

 

“Good.” Chanyeol gently caressed Baekhyun’s back as he continued to speak. “Would you like to talk about what exactly happened?”

 

It took a moment for Baekhyun to think about it before he shook his head. “I’m not ready yet. I… apolo-”

 

“Stop.” Chanyeol immediately interrupted. “Don’t apologize. I understand if you’re not ready.”

 

“Thank you, Chanyeol. Thank you for understanding.” 

 

Baekhyun fluttered his eyes closed as he relished this moment of being in Chanyeol’s arms, the latter’s body touching his own, which resulted in warmth and comfort that was shared between the two of them. Baekhyun wouldn’t want this moment to happen any other way. 

 

* * * 

 

A couple of weeks had passed after that moment when Chanyeol embraced the young doctor. After that moment, however, neither of the men had really made any moves on each other, for neither of them didn’t want to cross the boundaries. Neither did of them knew that as they kept their distance from each other further apart, their hearts yearned for one another more and more. 

 

“Hey, Baek, I think I’m able to move out of here soon,” Chanyeol stated one night as he and Baekhyun ate dinner together. 

 

As soon as those words were spoken out loud, Baekhyun stopped chewing on his food and looked up in surprise. “What do you mean? How were you able to get the money so quickly?” 

 

“Actually,” Chanyeol put down his chopsticks, ready to explain his situation to the young male who looked like he was about to flip the table. “I have a friend who finally reached out to me, and he offered me a place to stay. He’s... a decent friend of mine. You will certainly like him if you ever get the chance to meet him.”

 

Baekhyun resisted the urge to snort. He didn’t know why, but already he wasn’t liking whoever this friend Chanyeol was talking about. “But I told you, Chanyeol, I really don’t mind you staying here. Hell, you can even stay for as long as you want to.” Baekhyun nibbled the bottom of his lips in pure anxiety. Where did this anxiety suddenly come from? He didn’t know, but all he knew was the fact that he didn’t like how Chanyeol was planning to leave him.

 

“I know you don’t mind, but I already feel awful enough. You’ve given me so much, and you should understand how I feel about staying here.”

 

“Well, then, how do you feel?” Baekhyun questioned curiously. 

 

“I feel guilty that you’ve given me a home, and even though I try to pay for the little things, it’s not enough to repay you for everything you’ve done for me,” Chanyeol answered honestly, his heart beating a little too quickly for his liking as he watched Baekhyun’s expression contort from anxiousness to anger.

 

“I told you already! It doesn’t matter!” Baekhyun slammed his chopsticks down out of rage. Just the thought of Chanyeol leaving him scared him a little inside. “But if you just want to leave, then whatever! I can’t make you stay. Do whatever you want, Chanyeol,” Baekhyun seethed with venom as he rolled his eyes and made his way out of the kitchen and into his bedroom, slamming the door behind him. 

 

As soon as the door was shut, Baekhyun leaned his back against the door and slowly slid down, tears already beginning to form in his eyes as he remembered himself doing this after his wife and son’s funerals. The familiar pain in his heart was coming back, and it hurt, but this time it was for another reason. 

 

This time, he wasn’t crying for someone who passed away. This time, he finally realized, Baekhyun was crying for the man who knocked down the wall surrounding his heart and lit up the flame within. 

 

Baekhyun knew he could no longer deny this feeling any longer. He knew exactly what this feeling was because he had experienced it years ago with his past wife. It was this feeling of pure tenderness and contentedness. But it was more than that.

 

It was love. 

 

Baekhyun was slowly falling in love, once again.

 

He was falling in love with a man named Park Chanyeol: a giant idiot yet nonetheless a perfect friend. 

 

Since Chanyeol had said he should leave, Baekhyun felt like he was being left alone. The young male knew Chanyeol had no intentions of making Baekhyun feel alone, but now that he basically confirmed his feelings, everything Chanyeol did only made Baekhyun overthink the thoughts whirring in his mind. 

 

It felt like a stab to Baekhyun’s heart when Chanyeol said he had wanted to leave. Baekhyun couldn’t believe it at first. He had wondered himself if he was that bad of a housemate if Chanyeol had so badly wanted to leave. Despite the taller male trying to convince Baekhyun that it wasn’t like that, Baekhyun couldn’t help but think that there really was something wrong with him. Otherwise, there would no reason for Chanyeol to want to leave. 

 

Baekhyun placed his hands over his mouth, silencing himself as he let out soft whimpers of pain. 

 

Chanyeol knocking on the door didn’t help at all and neither did him asking if he was okay from the other side of the door help.

 

“Leave me alone!” Baekhyun finally yelled out when Chanyeol had yet to stop the knockings. 

 

“I’m not leaving until you open the door and I can see that you’re okay because clearly everything is not okay.”

 

“God, just fucking go away!” 

 

“What’s gotten into you?” Chanyeol yelled in response; he was usually a patient man, but like everyone else, he had his limits. “I thought you’d be happy if I leave and I won’t stop bothering you anymore. How the hell was I supposed to know that you’d be reacting this way?!” 

 

“You’re such a fucking idiot!” Baekhyun snarled a little aggressively, feeling slightly bad after he called the giant an idiot. But now that he said it aloud, there was no going back. 

 

“Well at least I’m not a brat who locks himself in his room!”

 

Baekhyun had it. Immediately, he stood up and swung the door open, paying no heed to the shocked expression on Chanyeol’s face as soon as the latter saw Baekhyun’s red, puffy eyes and his tear stained face. “Just shut the fuck up! You have no right to call me that!” 

 

“Yes, I do! Why the hell are you so pissed off anyway?” 

 

“I’m pissed at you!” Baekhyun cried out as he jabbed Chanyeol straight onto his chest. “For days, I’ve been having these strange feelings because of  _ you _ .”

 

“What are you talking-”

 

Chanyeol couldn’t even finish his sentence before he felt soft, tender lips being melted into his his. For a minute, everything felt normal. This kiss felt normal, and it was almost as if they weren’t screaming at each other in the last five seconds. However, as soon as Baekhyun leaned away, Chanyeol felt himself yearning for more. 

 

“I  _ like _ you, Chanyeol.”

 

“I like you too, Baekhyun.”

 

The latter sadly shook his head. “No, I don’t like you as just a friend. I like  _ like  _ you.”

 

Chanyeol widened his eyes at the revelation. He couldn’t believe his ears. “Really? Do you really mean it?” Chanyeol couldn’t help but ask, wanting so desperately for Baekhyun to confirm his statement. 

 

Chanyeol nearly jumped up in joy when Baekhyun had slowly nodded his head as he faced the ground, almost as if he was embarrassed by Chanyeol’s reaction. 

 

Smiling gently to himself, Chanyeol placed his hands over Baekhyun’s cheeks and made the young doctor look up at him. 

 

“Chanyeol, what-”

 

The giant crashed his lips onto Baekhyun’s, and once again, everything felt absolutely normal, almost as if they  _ should _ be kissing each other like a normal couple. Chanyeol continued to kiss into Baekhyun’s lips, and he would’ve stopped if Baekhyun asked him to, but the smaller male didn’t, so Chanyeol continued, deepening his kiss every second. 

 

It was only when they needed to catch their breaths did they separate for a few seconds. Chanyeol, seeing Baekhyun’s flushed face and surprised expression, only smiled generously. “I also really like  _ like _ you.” 

 

“Y-You do?” 

 

Chanyeol helped the older male answer his question by placing his lips onto Baekhyun’s once again, this time with a little more aggression and passion. As they molded their lips against each other’s, adrenaline began to pump viciously in their veins. 

 

Baekhyun wrapped his arms around Chanyeol’s neck while the latter had his hands on Baekhyun’s waist, gripping tightly onto them and feeling how the waist curved in a little down the middle of his body. All of this wasn’t new to Chanyeol, for he had a few flings in the past (some of them were girls and some were boys), but he knew that Baekhyun was completely new to this. With this knowledge in mind, Chanyeol had to make sure that Baekhyun was perfectly fine to go onto the next step. 

 

Hesitantly, Chanyeol broke apart, both of them gasping for their breaths. “Baekhyun, I need to make sure that you’re completely okay with this. We can stop here, but if you want to go any further, I have to make sure that you will be okay.” 

 

Chanyeol’s heart almost clenched a little when he saw a small glint of fear in Baekhyun’s eyes, but nonetheless, the latter nodded without hesitation. “I know I can trust you.”

 

A large grin found its way onto Chanyeol’s face before he quickly lifted Baekhyun off from the ground, feeling nothing but satisfaction when he heard Baekhyun let out a tiny yelp and immediately wrapped his legs around him, securing himself onto the giant so he wouldn’t fall off. It was almost as if Baekhyun was clinging onto Chanyeol for dear life, literally. 

 

With Baekhyun off the ground and in his arms, Chanyeol slowly brought the two of them into the older male’s bedroom, noticing how soft and round Baekhyun’s ass was as he held onto them while walking into the bedroom. 

 

Never once did either of them break apart from each other. Despite Baekhyun having the feeling like he was going to fall, he wasn’t afraid because he knew Chanyeol was there to catch him if anything were to happen. 

 

As soon as Chanyeol felt the end of the bed with his knees, he gently placed the smaller male down onto the bed before he climbed on as well and hovered over Baekhyun, his hot breath fanning over Baekhyun’s flushed face. Chanyeol leaned down before he not only placed a kiss on Baekhyun’s lips but again on his chin and neck. 

 

“Chanyeol,” Baekhyun gasped out when the giant sucked on the skin over his neck. This was nothing Baekhyun had ever felt before. It was a new feeling for sure, but it certainly wasn’t unwelcomed. “Give me more,” Baekhyun felt himself surrendering. It was slightly embarrassing, for Baekhyun had always been the dominant one, but the pleasure that he was given from Chanyeol’s light, feathery kisses over his neck was indescribable, and he desperately needed more. 

 

“Are you sure, Baekhyun? We can still stop if you want to.”   
  


The male underneath him only responded with a firm nod. He definitely wasn’t going back now. 

 

Without a second to waste, Chanyeol grabbed the hem of Baekhyun’s shirt and pulled it over his head, revealing the young doctor’s smooth, pale skin. Chanyeol gently placed his fingers over Baekhyun’s body and slowly drew abstract patterns, smirking when he felt Baekhyun shiver beneath him. 

 

Chanyeol’s cold fingertips glid easily over Baekhyun’s soft, porcelain belly and chest. However, he knew that touching was nothing compared to tasting, so without giving the older male a warning, he leaned down and placed a soft kiss on Baekhyun’ stomach before running his tongue over it. Chanyeol smirked with victory when he felt Baekhyun trembling beneath him, leaving him with all dominance. 

 

He continued to lick the man’s upper body before he got up to Baekhyun’s nipples and gently bit onto it. 

 

“Gah!” Baekhyun whimpered as he grabbed onto Chanyeol’s hair and tugged on it slightly. “Don’t stop.”

 

“I’m not planning to,” Chanyeol responded as he continued to suck on Baekhyun’s nipple, one hand making sure the other nipple was also played with while his other hand moved itself lower onto Baekhyun’s body. 

 

The giant could feel Baekhyun tense up a little as he began to maneuver the older male’s pants down. Making sure to listen to Baekhyun’s pleas from earlier, Chanyeol didn’t stop. He couldn’t stop until he made sure Baekhyun’s pants were all the way down, and he carelessly tossed them to the side without a fraction of an idea of where they’d end up, but the placement of their clothes was the least of their concerns. 

 

Now, Baekhyun was wearing nothing but his birthday suit, and Chanyeol felt the heat in his pants rise ever so gradually. When he looked down to see Baekhyun’s face, he furrowed his brows when he noticed that Baekhyun looked slightly frustrated. 

 

“Is everything okay?” Chanyeol asked with a slight tease in his tone as he placed his hand over Baekhyun’s cheek. 

 

“It’s not fair. Why am I completely naked and you’re not?” 

 

Oh, so that was the problem. Chanyeol smirked devilishly in response. “Then why don’t you help undress me?”

 

“I’ll be glad to,” Baekhyun responded eagerly as he leaned up and assisted the giant in taking his clothes off. It didn’t even take long, so before they even knew it, both of them were completely and utterly naked right in front of each others’ eyes. “Fuck…” 

 

“We will… soon,” Chanyeol sent the smaller male a mischievous wink before he brought Baekhyun’s back against the bed once again before he moved his face down towards Baekhyun’s lower region. With no heads up sign, Chanyeol gave the tip of Baekhyun’s dick a lick before inserting the entire thing into his mouth with no trouble. 

 

“Oh my God… Chanyeol,” Baekhyun gasped as he instantly grabbed onto the giant’s hair and tugged harshly, having no remorse for Chanyeol’s poor scalp. 

 

The smaller male only began to tremble when Chanyeol slowly bobbed his head up and down, his saliva making it slightly easier to do so as he slicked up the entire length. Baekhyun tugged even harder onto Chanyeol’s hair when he felt the tip of his dick touch the back of his throat. “C-Chanyeol,” he whined out loud, surprising himself since he had never created such a desperate sound before in his life. “P-Please…”

 

Chanyeol neither fastened his pace nor slowed down. He kept bobbing his head at a constant pace, making sure that Baekhyun felt pleasure but wasn’t at the point of cumming just yet. 

 

“I-I’m going to-to cum…” 

 

Hearing that, Chanyeol instantly stopped, smirking when he heard Baekhyun let out a desperate whine to release. “Not yet. We haven’t even got up to the best part yet.” 

 

Baekhyun widened his eyes, excitement and lust clearly evident in both orbs. 

 

“Lube?”

 

Immediately, Baekhyun leaned over the bed to reach over to his nightstand table. He quickly pulled out the first drawer before he got out a bottle of lube and a condom.

 

However, before Baekhyun handed the bottle of lube over to Chanyeol, he took it upon himself to open the bottle and squeeze a little bit onto his hand. This time, he was the one who gave no warning to Chanyeol before he placed his hand over the giant’s cock and wrapped it around the long shaft. 

 

Chanyeol couldn’t help himself but let out a groan of pleasure. “Ugh… fuck!” 

 

Smiling to himself, Baekhyun slowly brought his hand up and down and repeated this movement at a constant pace just like what Chanyeol did to him before when he was giving the smaller male a blowjob. 

 

Baekhyun smirked as he watched Chanyeol roll his head back, his eyes rolling to the back of his eyelids as well. Thankfully for the lube, it only made the job easier as Baekhyun started to quicken his pace just slightly. Before he could get too fast, however, Chanyeol placed his hand over Baekhyun’s, a sign for the older male to stop. 

 

“Let me take over now.”

 

Baekhyun slowly nodded as Chanyeol gently pushed the doctor back against the bed. “Can you spread your legs for me?” 

 

“I-I…” Baekhyun hesitated for a moment. He had never done something like this before. Never before was he the one to spread the legs for some man, but something within him told him that he could trust Chanyeol, and so he did. After a few seconds of debating with himself, he slowly spread his legs apart, feeling slightly embarrassed now that he was even more exposed. 

 

“You have nothing to be embarrassed about,” Chanyeol said as he grabbed the bottle of lube and spread a little bit of gel over his fingers. “You’re absolutely beautiful, Baekhyun, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.” 

 

Baekhyun knew his cheeks were becoming red because he felt them heating up. He never knew how strongly Chanyeol’s words could affect him. 

 

Before they proceeded any further, Chanyeol once again looked down onto Baekhyun’s face. “I’m going to prep you. I know you’re completely new to this, and I know you’re probably scared, but just try to relax.”

 

The smaller male nodded, knowing that he had to be prepped. Just because he never got fucked by a male didn’t mean he wasn’t sure how it was done. He was a doctor and knew perfectly how the process worked, but that didn’t mean he could ever be prepared for what was to come. 

 

Baekhyun felt like a gust of wind hit his bare skin when he felt something hovering over his base. 

 

“I’m just going to apply some lube. Since it’s your first time, I’ll be using a lot of it.”

 

“O-Okay, Chanyeol, j-just do it already.” 

 

With a nod of confirmation, Chanyeol slowly inserted a finger into Baekhyun’s anus. As he did so, he carefully watched the expression on Baekhyun’s face and sighed in relief when it didn’t look like he was in too much pain.

 

Baekhyun certainly felt a little discomfort, but it wasn’t up to the point of pain just yet. Although he gripped the bedsheets underneath him just in case. 

 

Noticing that Baekhyun seemed to be fine, Chanyeol began to move his one finger in and out before adding another one. As he added another finger in, that was when the pain began to settle in. 

 

Chanyeol’s heart ached a little as he heard Baekhyun let out a soft whine, and he saw how Baekhyun’s knuckles turned white from clutching onto the bed sheet. “I’m sorry, sweetie,” Chanyeol whispered softly against Baekhyun’s ears, careful not to move his fingers too much so he wouldn’t hurt Baekhyun. Gently, Chanyeol littered soft kisses across Baekhyun’s stomach as he moved his fingers in and out. It took a while, but when he heard Baekhyun cry out in pleasure, he knew his fingers just found the sweet spot.

 

Without hesitating, Chanyeol allowed his fingers to continue to touch that spot, sending Baekhyun into a wave of pure bliss. 

 

“Ooooh,” Baekhyun moaned out as Chanyeol continuously hit the bundle of nerves within him. “More, Chanyeol, please!” 

 

Doing as what he was told, Chanyeol gently inserted his third finger in, making sure that Baekhyun was finally able to relax again before he continued to find that sweet spot again. 

 

“I-I’m going to cum!” 

 

“Then cum for me,  _ baby.” _

 

Not a minute passed until Baekhyun finally released all of his semen, moaning in pleasure as he saw nothing but white and absolute bliss. “Fuck…”

 

Chanyeol removed his fingers from Baekhyun’s anus, smirking happily when Baekhyun let out a whine of dissatisfaction. “Relax, you’ll get more from me soon.”

 

Looking for the bottle of lube once again, Chanyeol soon found it near the end of the bed and immediately lathered a good layer onto his cock. He knew he a needed a lot more than when he used for his fingers because (not wanting to boast) he knew his fingers were nothing compared to his dick.  

 

As soon as he deemed himself to be ready, he soon looked into Baekhyun’s eyes again, wanting to make sure that the latter was also ready. When Baekhyun gave him a small nod to go, that was Chanyeol slowly began to insert the tip of his dick into the small hole. 

 

Chanyeol let out a groan because he didn’t realize how tight Baekhyun still was. He felt a little guilty for not preparing Baekhyun well enough, especially when the young doctor let out a silent scream of pain. 

 

Baekhyun instantly moved his hands from the bed sheet and instantly used them to grab onto Chanyeol’s arm instead, gripping tightly onto the muscular arms because, holy  _ fuck,  _ the tendency to just remove this foreign thing from his ass was so great; Baekhyun, however, knew he couldn’t though. He just had to suck it up and put all his trust in Chanyeol.

 

“I’m sorry, Baek. I know it hurts, but just try to relax.” 

 

“I know… I’m trying,” Baekhyun whispered softly as a tear formed at the corner of his eyes and slid down the side of his face. 

 

Chanyeol’s heart clenched in pain because seeing Baekhyun in pain only made him feel pain as well, so without hesitating, he leant his head down and began to kiss Baekhyun’s lips, hoping that it could distract him from the pain.

 

Soon enough, it seemed to work, and Baekhyun seemed to relax a little more, so Chanyeol continued to push himself in until he was balls deep inside. 

 

“Ugh… Chanyeol…” Baekhyun groaned, his eyes clenched shut as he tried to will the pain away. His grip on Chanyeol’s arms tightened, and his breaths got heavier and faster. It felt like the pain was never going to go away, but when Chanyeol made a slightly movement, he seemed to have grazed over his prostate again. “C-Chanyeol… y-you can move.”

 

“Are you sure, Baek?”

 

“Yes, fuck me!” the doctor almost cried out until Chanyeol had no choice but to pull his dick out until only the tip was in before he pushed it back in, balls deep once again.

 

“There, there!” Baekhyun screeched as he dug his nails into Chanyeol’s arm, feeling the mixture of pain and pleasure rush through his veins and in his lower region. 

 

Chanyeol continued the movement; he continued to pull out and push back in. The sound of skin slapping against each other was getting heavier and louder, their breaths and moans of pleasure began to increase as Chanyeol moved faster and faster, the tip of his dick always hitting that same sweet spot over and over again. 

 

Baekhyun continued to moan in pleasure while Chanyeol grunted each time he hit the same spot. 

 

It was absolute pure bliss for either men. 

 

They continued to fuck each other, releasing all of the tension they had in the past few weeks during this very moment. 

 

When Chanyeol’s speed began to grow out of pace, Baekhyun knew that both of them were close. 

 

Chanyeol only confirmed it when he grunted, “I’m going to cum soon.”

 

“M-Me too,” Baekhyun moaned out before he couldn’t hold himself back again. With one last touch onto his prostate, Baekhyun released his seeds for the second time that night. 

 

Chanyeol was close as well. As he thrusted once again, he came into the tight walls surrounding his length right after Baekhyun and rode out his orgasm as his dick continued to throb almost painfully good in Baekhyun’s ass. As the both of them released their seeds together, there was nothing but the sound of loud pants reverberating in the room. 

 

“Fuck,” Baekhyun groaned when he felt his stomach being covered with his own semen. 

 

Chanyeol chuckled softly as he finally pulled his dick out, his semen also dripping out and spreading onto Baekhyun’s smooth thighs. He slowly got up and retrieved a small towel from his room only to come back and wipe the remnants of their dirty deed off of Baekhyun’s stomach. 

 

“How romantic,” Baekhyun teased lightly before Chanyeol threw the towel into the laundry basket and climbed onto bed, laying right next to the smaller male before finding the unused condom to the side. 

 

“Shit, I forgot to put this on,” Chanyeol murmured apologetically before Baekhyun only let out waves of laughter. 

 

“Whatever, it’s not like I can get pregnant anyway.” 

 

Chanyeol chuckled softly in response before both of them laid down in bed in silence. 

 

“That was-” Baekhyun started to speak, breaking the silence, but Chanyeol cut in.

 

“Pretty good?” Chanyeol answered for the young doctor and laughed lightly when he received a light punch in the arm. 

 

“I was going to say amazing, but that also works.” 

 

Baekhyun sighed in content as the two of them lay in each others’ arms, underneath the bed covers wearing absolutely nothing, their clothes that laid on the floor were still long forgotten. They didn’t need their clothes anyway, since their outfits would only become a barrier between them.  

 

It was silent for a few minutes in the room, both men still catching their breaths and climbing down from their highs. Although Baekhyun hesitated to ask his question, he did so anyway because he had to know Chanyeol’s answer. 

 

“So do you think you’ll still be going to your friend’s place now?” 

 

Chanyeol looked down into Baekhyun’s eyes with a stern expression on his face. “After what just happened? I don’t think so.” 

 

Baekhyun smiled happily to himself. “Well… good, then.”

 

Before both of them could fall asleep, Chanyeol had a question himself. “I have a question for you, Baek.”

 

“Ask away,” the smaller male responded with a tired sigh. 

 

“Will you be my boyfriend?”

 

Baekhyun didn’t even need a second to think about his answer. 

 

“Absolutely.”

 


	12. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

 

Life probably couldn’t get any better for Baekhyun, if he had to be completely honest. It had been so long since everything in his life actually felt…  _ right.  _

 

It was mostly thanks to Chanyeol, though. Ever since he and Chanyeol began dating, Baekhyun couldn’t have been happier in his life. It was more than refreshing to begin a new relationship, and to say the least, Chanyeol was more than the perfect partner. 

 

For example, despite Baekhyun’s protest of having Chanyeol pay him while living in his house, the giant still worked his ass off at his two jobs so he could also be able to provide for the both of them. Chanyeol would also be the one who cooked dinner and breakfast most of the time, and he would always try to get Baekhyun to relax after coming home from a hard day at work. 

 

Their relationship had been going on for almost a year, and it didn’t seem like it would end anytime soon. The love they have for each other was only just blooming into something more than just a tiny bud. Although they haven’t exactly said the words ‘ _ I love you _ ’ just yet, it was definitely at the tip of the very tongues, waiting to be said out loud. 

 

But that didn’t matter because actions still spoke louder than words, and with everything Chanyeol had been doing for Baekhyun, the latter couldn’t be anymore grateful to have a man like Chanyeol in his life. 

 

However, despite their long, ongoing relationship, besides the two of them, no one really knew about their relationship. Baekhyun had yet to tell Jongdae nor Minseok, in fear that they would freak out. Chanyeol had only told one person, who was one of his very close friends, but that was really it. Even Baekhyun’s parents didn’t know anything about his relationship with Chanyeol. 

 

Baekhyun knew he would eventually have to tell them if their relationship continued, but as of now, there really wasn’t any need for that just yet. 

 

Although almost a year had passed, not much had really changed. Baekhyun still went to work like usual and so did Chanyeol. The only main difference was that Baekhyun would now be willing to return home to his boyfriend instead of a dark and empty house. 

 

Really, nothing could get better than that. 

 

The only place where their relationship could go at that point was downhill, but Baekhyun really couldn’t see that happening anytime soon. 

 

* * * 

 

It was late at night when Baekhyun was eating dinner along with Chanyeol. They had ordered takeout, both too exhausted to really cook anything. Thankfully, it wasn’t too often that they had to order takeout, but it was only that one night when both barely had the strength to lift up a pan. 

 

“So, you know what date is coming up?” Chanyeol asked teasingly, sending a wink towards Baekhyun’s direction.

 

The young doctor only rolled his eyes and pretended to not know what Chanyeol was talking about. “I don’t know. What is coming up?”

 

“Come on, don’t tell me you forgot.”

 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

 

Chanyeol sighed, brows furrowing. “Seriously?”

 

Baekhyun only playfully slapped his boyfriend’s arm. “Relax, Chanyeol, I was kidding! Of course I know what’s coming up. It’s our anniversary!” 

 

Chanyeol let out a sigh of relief. “Thank God you remembered. You really had me there for a second.”

 

Baekhyun responded with a small snort. “I can’t believe you doubt me that much.” 

 

“I could never,” Chanyeol replied before he leant in towards his boyfriend and gave him a peck on the cheek. After he gave Baekhyun a kiss, he leant back towards his seat before he allowed his expression to become serious again. “So it’s almost been a year since we’ve been dating, and I’ve been meaning to ask you this…”

 

“What is it?” 

 

Chanyeol nibbled on the bottom of his lip, obviously nervous to ask his next question. Despite being nervous, he asked anyway. “I know we agreed to try not to have too many secrets between us, but there’s something that’s been bugging me.”

 

“What’s bugging you?” Baekhyun wondered, his brows also furrowing in slight confusion. 

 

“That room over there.” Chanyeol pointed his finger at a certain room down the hall. “Why won’t you let me go inside?” 

 

Baekhyun instantly knew exactly what Chanyeol was talking. It used to be Taehyung’s room, and ever since his son passed away, he had not stepped a foot into that room, afraid it would only bring bad memories for him. 

 

However, ever since his relationship with Chanyeol began, he wasn’t that afraid anymore. Instead, he was rather grateful to even have a son like Taehyung, and despite the little boy dying at such a young age, at least he could be with his mother. It still stung Baekhyun’s heart to know that his little boy was taken away from him so soon. 

 

“It was my son’s room,” Baekhyun said softly after a moment of silence. “I’ve locked that room for a reason. It’s because I don’t want to ever go in there if all I could remember was my son dying.” 

 

Chanyeol sent his boyfriend a concerned look. “M-May I ask how he died?” 

 

The giant noticed Baekhyun’s tight grip on his utensil while his eyes shut tiredly. Chanyeol gently placed his hand over Baekhyun’s, a reassurance that he was there to listen to whatever Baekhyun had to say. 

 

“He was murdered by some psychopath,” Baekhyun seethed with such a low tone that even Chanyeol had never heard before. Even the giant himself had shivers run down his spine when Baekhyun finally opened his eyes with a glare that he’d never seen before. 

 

“D-Did they ever find the murderer?”

 

Baekhyun shook his head. “No, but if they do or if I do, then I hope that neither of us will hold back because that murderer deserves to die in hell for taking the life of a little, innocent boy.” 

 

“I’m… so sorry” was all Chanyeol could say before that conversation ended rather bitterly.

 

* * *

By the time the couple’s anniversary came around, Baekhyun decided it was time to let out any secrets that he ever kept from Chanyeol. Well, to be exact, they weren’t exactly secrets, but they were definitely information that he had never told Chanyeol about. 

 

It would be the day when he would finally tell Chanyeol about his previous relationship and his son. However, if he had to do that, Baekhyun decided it would be best to show Chanyeol instead. Of course, Baekhyun asked for permission from Chanyeol, not wanting to take his boyfriend off guard by bringing them to the graveyard on their anniversary. 

 

Chanyeol, of course, had agreed. Although Chanyeol could tell that his boyfriend was nervous about going to the graveyard, he tried to keep his spirits up because he knew just how much pain Baekhyun was in. 

 

When the day finally came for them to visit Baekhyun’s wife and son, the young doctor cursed himself for forgetting to buy a bouquet of flowers. 

 

“Fuck, I completely forgot to buy flowers,” Baekhyun cursed at himself. “Why don’t you wait here while I quickly go to the flower shop to buy some?” 

 

“Are you sure? I can come with you if you want.”

 

Baekhyun only shook his head. “No worries, I’ll be back as soon as possible,” he stated as he placed what seemed like a piece of paper down on the kitchen table. 

 

“Drive safely, baby.” 

 

The smaller male nodded with a soft smile on his face. “I will.”

 

After Baekhyun left the house, Chanyeol decided he should clean up the house while he waited. As he went to the kitchen, he noticed a piece of paper that was on the ground laying next to the kitchen chair. Quickly, he bent down to pick it up only to realize it wasn’t just any piece of paper, it was a photo. 

 

As Chanyeol brought the image closer to his eyes, he noticed that it was a picture of a lovely woman. However, as he got a better look at the woman, that was exactly the moment when his heart dropped to the pit of his stomach. It wasn’t just any woman, Chanyeol realized. It was someone that Chanyeol knew from a very long time ago. It was the woman who unintentionally shattered his heart. 

 

_ Kim Taeyeon. _

 

She had been Chanyeol’s first love interest until he found out that she had a boyfriend. Never in a million years did he imagine that he would be dating that same boyfriend. 

 

Everything had been so damn perfect; now Chanyeol regretted looking at the picture in the first place because he wasn’t sure how he was supposed to feel about this fact. 

 

Deciding it was best to put the picture down, Chanyeol soon made his way towards the living room, allowing himself to sit down on the couch and think about what he just discovered. 

 

It wasn’t until soon did Baekhyun return from the flower shop. Thankfully, the latter didn’t seem to notice the change of aura within Chanyeol as they left the house, heading their way towards the place where Chanyeol’s first love interest was buried. 

 

Chanyeol wasn’t sure whether he should laugh or cry at the situation, so he opted to stay silent, hoping that Baekhyun wouldn’t ask any questions about why he was so quiet during the car ride. 

 

The time it took for them to get to the graveyard felt like an eternity. Really, it only took about an hour to get there, yet Chanyeol felt like he was suffocating himself in that car. He couldn’t even bring it upon himself to look at his boyfriend, afraid of mostly himself and his actions if he were to look at Baekhyun and know that  _ he _ was the man who took his first love away from him. 

 

Chanyeol, although never admitting it out loud, had always been someone who acted out irrationally at times. Truthfully, he blamed it on his father. That damn old man never gave a fuck about him after Chanyeol’s mother left him for another man, someone who had more money. 

 

Chanyeol couldn’t really blame his mother, though. He knew his father always had a temperament issue, and him losing his job was simply the last straw for her. Of course, life had been difficult for Chanyeol. He wasn’t exactly abused nor was he properly taken care of. Instead, he was mostly ignored by his father for more than half of his childhood. 

 

No matter what Chanyeol did, whether it be good or bad, his father never gave a reaction. This was probably the reason why Chanyeol had been so reckless during his childhood and teenage years. Since he never got in trouble by his father, there had been nothing stopping him from acting out during his school career. 

 

However, all of that had changed from the moment he met eyes with one of the most beautiful girls he had ever met. Chanyeol could remember that moment so clearly and vividly in his mind that it was almost impossible to forget. 

 

It was that day during middle school when Chanyeol was set to pull off another prank on one of his teachers. The prank was for him to put a bucket filled with leftover garbage from the cafeteria over the door, so when the teacher opened the door, the bucket would fall over his head. Chanyeol had tested out everything beforehand, but when he actually set the plan into action, a girl had accidentally bumped into a him, and Chanyeol’s hands just so happened to slip, leaving the contents inside the bucket to spill all over the girl’s dress. 

 

_ “Hey, you messed up my prank!” a young, teenage boy cried out, accusing a girl he never saw before. “Great, now my plan is all ruined thanks to you!”  _

 

_ “Are you kidding me? You’re the one who ruined my dress,” the girl argued back, tears starting to form at the corner of her eyes because of the humiliation.  _

 

_ “That’s not my problem! You’re the one who ran into me!” Chanyeol shouted out loud, gaining the whole class’ attention on them. Some people were whispering amongst each other while some let out waves of laughter when they saw how the girl was covered in garbage.  _

 

_ “You know what, Chanyeol, you’re exactly how people described you! Although I never talked to you personally, I had defended you from those people, but now I can see why everyone in this school absolutely hates you, including me!” the girl quickly ran off, leaving Chanyeol completely baffled. Never before had he been lashed out like that, and if he had to be honest, he kind of liked it. Since Chanyeol was rarely disciplined at home, he actually felt grateful that he was criticized by the girl. He felt somewhat cared for, and that was what Chanyeol had wished for ever since his father started to ignore him.  _

 

_ Before giving it another thought, Chanyeol decided to run off to find the girl again and apologize, but he was stopped when the teacher stepped into the room and announced that the class would be starting. That would be the one time when Chanyeol actually got the chance to talk to the girl, but little did he know he wouldn’t get the chance to talk to her again for a long, long time.  _

 

_ It was when they were all in high school did Chanyeol finally get the chance to talk to the girl again. Ever since he had been lashed out like that by her, Chanyeol actually tried to refrain himself from acting so reckless again. He had realized that the girl probably thought he was obnoxious from the first time they met, and Chanyeol didn’t want her to have that impression on him, so he decided to lay low for the next few years.  _

 

_ When Chanyeol finally got the chance to talk to the girl, the latter had been planning to run for class president along with another boy who was running for vice president. The girl had first approached Chanyeol, probably forgetting that he had been the one who had gotten garbage on her dress, because she was smiling brightly at him when she came up to him.  _

 

_ “Hey, my name’s Kim Taeyeon! As you know, I’m running for class president, and I hope that you’ll be tuning in to hear the speeches later today.”  _

 

_ “O-Oh… I-uh…” Chanyeol wasn’t sure what to say, but before he could even say any coherent words, the girl had narrowed her eyes, almost as if she was judging the guy. _

 

_ “Wait a minute, aren’t you Chanyeol? Wow, look how much you changed!” Taeyeon exclaimed excitedly, which confused Chanyeol because he was so sure that Taeyeon had been pissed off at him for what happened in middle school. _

 

_ “Yeah, b-but aren’t you mad at me?”  _

 

_ “What? Why would I be mad?”  _

 

_ Chanyeol furrowed his brows. “You don’t remember? I was the one who got your dress dirty in middle school.”  _

 

_ With that reply, Taeyeon only let out a wave of laughter, a sound that Chanyeol never knew he so desperately wanted to hear. She had sounded so lovely to him, especially when she sounded so happy like that very moment. “That was years ago! I’m not angry anymore if that’s what you’re wondering. Besides, it was just a mistake, and we were all so young and ignorant back then, wouldn’t you agree?”  _

 

_ “Y-Yeah, I guess.”  _

 

_ Taeyeon chuckled lightly before claiming that she had some duties to run as a candidate. She waved farewell to the giant, leaving the latter completely baffled and confused as to why his heart was beating so quickly in his chest.  _

 

_ He later figured out that it was because he liked the girl, Taeyeon. Although the two didn’t have too many moments when they talked, Chanyeol still had a very big crush on him. Unfortunately for him, Taeyeon was always hanging out with her group of friends, especially with that one guy who was running for vice president.  _

 

_ It angered Chanyeol to know that he probably had no chance against that guy, but he was determined to make Taeyeon his. He had the perfect plan of asking her out to prom during their senior year of high school; he would buy a bouquet of flowers for her and then ask her once they were alone.  _

 

_ Everything had gone pretty smoothly at first, but as soon as he arrived at school, he was met with the sight of the class’ vice president, singing a ballad to the girl who Chanyeol had fallen for. He had been too late; the guy had asked Taeyeon to go to prom with him, and of course she agreed.  _

 

_ Chanyeol, not wanting to see the sight in front of him, threw the flowers in the trash and ran out of the school, anger and rage rushing through his veins.  _

 

_ Ever since that day, Chanyeol’s heart was filled with nothing but darkness. He was angry at not only that guy who asked Taeyeon out but also Taeyeon herself. Chanyeol hated the fact that Taeyeon didn’t choose him, and he was angry at the fact that he arrived to school too late. Maybe if he was a tad bit earlier, then things could have been different.  _

 

_ But now, Taeyeon couldn’t be his, and Chanyeol would only find out that a few years later, Taeyeon would marry that same guy who asked her out to prom, and they would have a son together. However, what made him angrier was when he found out that Taeyeon had died, and the guy allowed that to happen.   _

 

_ Chanyeol hated that. He hated the fact that the one person who could make him so happy wasn’t his and would never be his anymore; he hated the fact that while the couple were living so happily with each other, he was left with nothing but rage and jealousy.  _

 

_ He wanted vengeance.  _

 

_ He wanted to destroy their happiness.  _

 

_ The rage within him was the only thing that fueled his motivation.  _

 

_ He wanted to kill the couple’s happiness, especially that guy. _

 

_ But he couldn’t do it alone. _

 

Chanyeol’s eyes were filled with tears as he watched Baekhyun lay the bouquet of flowers on top of Taeyeon’s and his son’s graves. His hands were clenched into fists as he watched helplessly. Of course, Baekhyun was also crying as he spoke up. 

 

“Hey, Taeyeon… I know it’s been a while since I last visited you, but I’ve been a coward,” Baekhyun admitted softly to himself. “I… was afraid to face you, afraid of how you would react if I told you I have fallen in love with a man. His name’s Chanyeol, and he’s such a sweet giant. I’m sure if the two would ever meet, you’d really like him.” 

 

Chanyeol widened his eyes at when Baekhyun said that out loud. His tightened his fists when this sudden wave of guilt crashed over him. 

 

Sure, he had been in love with Taeyeon, but that was years ago, and he learned to let go. Baekhyun was his boyfriend now, and Chanyeol only realized now that he was the one that destroyed everything that had ever made his boyfriend happy. 

 

He was so consumed in his thoughts that he didn’t even hear Baekhyun calling out his name until the latter tapped him on the shoulder.

 

“Is everything okay, Chanyeol? You’ve been kind of out of it ever since we came here. I’m sorry, I know this is probably really overwhelming for you, but I really just don’t want any secrets to come in between our relationship,” Baekhyun said softly as he continued to stare down at Taeyeon’s gravestone. 

 

Chanyeol had never wanted so badly to just run away from Baekhyun. He knew he was absolutely disgusting. How could he even face Baekhyun now that he knew the truth? Chanyeol knew there was no chance for him to tell Baekhyun what happened, so he decided it would be a secret that only he would keep for himself. 

 

Now that he decided that he would keep that information a secret, he felt slightly better, but the guilt didn’t go away. Chanyeol would simply have to live with this guilt for the rest of his life. 

 

But if that meant keeping Baekhyun to himself, then Chanyeol would live with the guilt that he destroyed his boyfriend’s happiness at one point in his life because he was in love with no one other than Byun Baekhyun. 

 

“I’m sorry for your loss” was all Chanyeol could say before he allowed Baekhyun to bury himself in his chest and allowed the smaller male to wet his eyes into shirt. 

 

Besides, it was the least he could do because nothing he could do would ever bring back Baekhyun’s son. 

 

And Chanyeol absolutely regretted it. 

 


	13. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

 

A few months had passed ever since Baekhyun brought Chanyeol to visit Taeyeon and Taehyung. That also meant that a few months had passed ever since Chanyeol realized what he had done, and he had yet to tell Baekhyun, promising himself that it would be only his secret to keep. However, that didn’t mean that the guilt wasn’t there because it was. 

 

The guilt was roaring with more power as each and every day passed. The guilt would even sometimes keep Chanyeol up at night as he stayed awake, watching his boyfriend sleep peacefully, oblivious to the fact that his own boyfriend was the one who murdered his son.

 

Chanyeol thought he could bear the guilt, but as each day passed, it only became harder and harder. The one thing that Chanyeol feared the most was that he would be unable to bear the guilt for any longer, and then he would accidentally crack, break down, and let all his secrets loose. He knew if that were to ever happen, Baekhyun would be sure to leave him. 

 

That was why Chanyeol had a plan in mind. It was a wild plan, but it could work. 

 

He was planning to marry Baekhyun because this way, it would be harder for Baekhyun to leave him, and that was the last thing that Chanyeol could want: Baekhyun leaving him alone. 

 

However, in order for him to set his plan into action, he knew he had to get the approval of Baekhyun’s friends first. Now that he and Baekhyun had been dating for over a year, the older male had already told his parents. Although his parents were slightly skeptical about him, they eventually approved when they saw how well Chanyeol treated their son. 

 

Baekhyun had asked Chanyeol about his parents, but the giant only told Baekhyun that his parents weren’t involved in his life anymore, to which Baekhyun responded with an apology. 

 

Chanyeol paid no heed, though, for he wasn’t sorry that his parents technically abandoned him. Besides, it didn’t feel right to call them his parents when all they have been to him were strangers, so of course Chanyeol didn’t care too much about his parents. 

 

The only people who still didn’t know about their relationship were Jongdae and Minseok, and Chanyeol had a feeling it’d be tough getting their approval because he’d seen how protective the two of them were of their friend. Chanyeol needed a way to convince those two people that Baekhyun truly deserved him, and he needed to think of a way fast. 

 

* * * 

 

It was a Saturday afternoon when neither Baekhyun nor Chanyeol had work to do that Chanyeol opted to pay a visit to the hospital to have a talk with Baekhyun’s two friends. Since Baekhyun was away for the weekend to visit his parents, Chanyeol thought it’d be the perfect time to visit Jongdae and Minseok at the hospital. 

 

On his way to the hospital, he actually bought some food, hoping that Jongdae and Minseok would accept his invitation to have lunch with him. 

 

Once he arrived at the hospital, he already knew where Jongdae and Minseok worked since he visited Baekhyun so many times at the hospital, and the young doctor was usually around his two friends whenever he wasn’t performing a surgery. 

 

His long legs lead him straight towards the front desk, and luckily for him, Minseok was already working at the front desk, but Jongdae was nowhere to be seen. Chanyeol thought it was best for him to approach Minseok first since the latter had been more considerate towards him instead of Jongdae. 

 

“Hey, Minseok,” Chanyeol greeted softly with a kind smile, hoping he didn’t startle the other male. 

 

When the young nurse’s name was called out, he instantly looked up and grinned brightly. “What’s up, Chanyeol! What brings you here? Are you looking for Baekhyun? I thought he’d tell you that he would be away this weekend.” 

 

Chanyeol shyly nodded and awkwardly scratched the back of his neck. Here it goes. “I actually came here to talk to you and Jongdae.” 

 

“Me and Jongdae?” Minseok tilted his head in slight confusion since it was the first time that Chanyeol had ever requested to talk to them instead of Baekhyun. “Why? Is something going on with you and Baekhyun?” 

 

“Well, yes and no. I’ll explain later when Jongdae gets here.” 

 

The young nurse gave a hesitant nod. “He should be here soon-”

 

“HEY!” 

 

Minseok let out a sigh as he looked at the figure behind Chanyeol. “He’s here.” 

 

“What the hell are you doing here?” Jongdae snickered with an aggressive tone in his voice. It was clear to anyone that Jongdae wasn’t too fond of Chanyeol. The latter wasn’t sure why, but Baekhyun merely told him to ignore Jongdae if the he ever got onto Chanyeol’s nerves. “Baekhyun’s not here, so you can leave,” he quickly said as he walked behind the front desk before Minseok lightly slapped him on the shoulder. 

 

“He’s not here to see Baekhyun, he’s here to see us,” the older nurse explained, Jongdae’s eyebrow raising with every word. 

 

“Whatever, make it quick then.”

 

“It’s actually kind of important,” Chanyeol said as he placed the food on top of the counter. “It’s going to take a while to explain, so I thought we could have lunch together.” 

 

“Oh, that’d be great! Jongdae and I actually haven’t eat-”

 

“We already ate,” Jongdae immediately interrupted the older nurse before the latter gave him a slight nudge. “Fine, whatever. We’ll eat with you.” 

 

Chanyeol grinned with excitement as the two nurses seemed to agree to eat with him. He could only hope that the two nurses would actually approve of his plan to marry Baekhyun. 

 

As the two nurses went to the cafeteria to find a place to eat, Chanyeol followed closely behind and sat at the table where Jongdae and Minseok decided to sit at. 

 

It was ten minutes into their lunch time when Jongdae finally opted to cut the silence. “So what’s all of this? Why’d you suddenly come to us?” Jongdae soon sent the taller male a deathly glare. “Did you have a fight with Baekhyun?” 

 

Chanyeol put his hand up in surrender. “What? No! It’s not that. I actually wanted to talk to you two about something else, and since you two are Baekhyun’s closest friends, I thought it’d be best to get your approval.” 

 

Minseok raised a brow, obviously intrigued by what Chanyeol had to say. “Our approval? For what?” 

 

“Well, I know Baekhyun and I didn’t tell you guys anything, but we’ve actually been dating for more than a year.”

 

“WHAT?!” Jongdae shrieked in horror, standing up from his chair as he pointed at the giant. “Y-You’re dating my best friend?!”

 

Chanyeol slowly nodded his head at Jongdae’s question before he glanced at Minseok who still didn’t say anything, but the latter didn’t seem too surprised. 

 

“I’m sorry that neither of us told you guys, but Baekhyun told me he was afraid of how you guys would react. As his boyfriend, I should have convinced him to tell you guys sooner, and I apologize.” Chanyeol bowed his head down a little to show his sincerity. 

 

Since neither of the nurses have yet to say anything, Chanyeol decided to continue, knowing his next request would truly catch them off guard. “Well, you now know how I’m dating Baekhyun now, right?” 

 

The two of them nodded slowly, still having no idea where the conversation was going, so Chanyeol continued to speak, mentally praying that everything would work out. 

 

“You guys must trust me when I say I love him so much, and… I-I think it’s time we should settle down. I… want to marry him. I want to marry Byun Baekhyun.” 

 

With this request, Chanyeol had expected Jongdae to be furious, and his expectations turned out to be true. 

 

“Absolutely not!” 

 

Minseok only widened his eyes, opting to stay silent and allowing Jongdae to speak for him. 

 

“If you two are truly dating, then you should  _ know _ what Baekhyun went through in the past. How dare you disregard all of that and plan to marry him, knowing everything that happened to him.”

 

“But-”

 

Jongdae immediately cut him off. “It’s a no from me, and that’s final.” With that said, Jongdae scooted his chair back and got up, turning his back behind the table and leaving Minseok behind with Chanyeol. 

 

The latter sadly looked down at the unfinished food on Jongdae’s plate. “I… didn’t realize he would be so against my idea.” 

 

Minseok only patted Chanyeol on the shoulder. “Don’t worry about him. He’s just very close with Baekhyun, and he was his son’s godfather, so you can just imagine how close they are. Baekhyun was one of Jongdae’s very first friends, so he’s just very protective of him, and so am I.” 

 

Chanyeol nodded slowly. “I had hoped that he’d at least think about it before storming off like that.” 

 

“If it makes you feel slightly better, I approve of your request.”

 

The giant looked up with bright, shining eyes. “You really mean it?” 

 

Minseok nodded. “Yeah, I’ve seen how happy Baekhyun has become ever since you two met. It didn’t take me too long to figure out that something was going on behind the scenes, and you basically just proved my assumptions to be correct just now.” The nurse chuckled softly as Chanyeol smiled awkwardly. “Also, you don’t seem that bad of a person, so I definitely approve.”

 

“You may approve, but Jongdae doesn’t. It’s not worth it if only of you approves,” Chanyeol murmured softly, clenching his fists because it was true that he couldn’t put his plan into action if Jongdae resented the idea of marrying his best friend. He knew that in the end, the decision was his and Baekhyun’s to make, but he loved Baekhyun, and he didn’t want to have any bad relationships with any one of Baekhyun’s friends and family. 

 

“He’ll come around. Besides, even if he doesn’t, I’ll make him,” Minseok said, followed by a teasing chuckle. “Just give him a couple of days.” 

 

“I hope you’re right.” 

 

“I know I’m right.” 

 

With that said, Minseok ate all of the food that Chanyeol brought for all of them and even ended up eating the leftover food that Jongdae left. “I know he doesn’t like you that much for some reason, but he should’ve at least finished the food that you bought.” 

 

“Don’t worry about it. It’s no big deal,” Chanyeol replied with no resentment whatsoever. 

 

After lunch, Chanyeol was on his way to the parking lot while Minseok walked back to the front desk when he heard Jongdae talking to someone over the phone. 

 

“Hey, Baekhyun… have you ever thought of marriage again?” Jongdae had asked over the phone. Minseok only sighed as he watched Jongdae’s expression turn gloomy. “But are you sure? Do you really think you moved on?” 

 

There was silence for almost a whole minute before Jongdae let out a large sigh. “If you say so, Baek. I only want you to be happy, you know that, right?” 

 

Soon enough, Jongdae hung up the phone and looked up at Minseok. “Is Chanyeol still here?” 

 

“I think he’s on his way to the parking lot,” the older nurse replied as he started working on his desktop, a soft smile approaching on his face as he watched Jongdae sprint from the front desk and towards the front entrance of the hospital. 

 

Minseok knew he should have made a bet with Chanyeol that Jongdae would eventually come around.

 

* * *

 

Chanyeol being happy would be an understatement. He was ecstatic, elated even. He couldn’t believe that he was able to get the approval of both of Baekhyun’s friends. 

 

With their approval, Chanyeol was finally able to set his plan into action, and he was already starting as he was wandering around in the mall, finding a jewelry shop so he could buy a ring for his boyfriend. Knowing it was a rather difficult task to complete, Chanyeol decided it was best to bring one of his own friend to come along with him to help him out, Do Kyungsoo. 

 

Chanyeol first met Kyungsoo at a bar downtown after he decided to drop out of high school, realizing that that place really had not much to offer anymore. After it was basically confirmed by everyone in the school that Taeyeon was dating the guy she went out with to prom, Chanyeol couldn’t bear to see the couple in school anymore. His father also didn’t really care anyway (like always), so it didn’t bother Chanyeol as well that he was now a high school dropout. 

 

Kyungsoo was one of the first friends that Chanyeol had made. After drinking an excessive amount of alcohol at a bar one night because he was so heartbroken over Taeyeon, Kyungsoo, who was a bartender at that time, couldn’t find it in himself to push the giant away. Thus, after his shift had ended, he brought Chanyeol home with him, and that was when the taller male had spilled everything. Kyungsoo knew, at that time, that he probably wasn’t supposed to know everything that happened, but he couldn’t just tell the drunken teenager to stop. 

 

Ever since that day, Kyungsoo had always been there for Chanyeol, looking out for him like he was his younger brother. Everything actually went pretty well for the two of them. Since Kyungsoo was older and was more financially stable, he allowed the teenager to stay in his house just until Chanyeol could get his own place. 

 

The two of them constantly worked together, even if it came to revenges. Kyungsoo was probably the only one who could understand Chanyeol. He understood the giant’s rage and anger within him after being so heartbroken, which was why he assisted Chanyeol in assassinating a little boy only if the giant could help him get revenge on his ex-boyfriend, a man that went by the name of ‘Kai.’ 

 

Kyungsoo knew he was a terrible human being for carrying out these revenges, and he knew that he was also the cause of Chanyeol’s guilt lately, but what could he do now? Life is never blissful, and Kyungsoo understood all too well how the world can treat you like utter shit. The young, doe-eyed male could care less unless he was the one who received the short end of the stick. 

 

“Chanyeol, are you sure this is a good idea?” the shorter male asked monotonously. “If he finds out what you’ve done to his son, he’s going to leave you.” 

 

“That’s why I’m going to marry him, so he won’t be able to leave me unless we get a divorce, and that requires the approval of both partners,” Chanyeol replied almost as if his response wasn’t completely insane at all. 

 

Kyungsoo only heaved a sigh. Despite him doing horrible deeds in the past as well, he couldn’t believe Chanyeol was willing to go this far and risk everything for this one man. Kyungsoo wasn’t sure why, but just knowing that Chanyeol was so smitten with Baekhyun left a bitter taste in his mouth. 

 

Forcing these emotions to evade his mind, Kyungsoo followed his taller friend around like a lost puppy on a leash until they finally reached a jewelry shop. 

 

Chanyeol gleefully walked in and greeted a young woman behind the counter. 

 

“Welcome!” she greeted them cheerfully. “Is there anything you’re looking for specifically?” 

 

The giant nodded without hesitation. “I’m looking for a ring, an engagement ring to be exact.” 

 

“Oh my,” the woman gasped. “She must be a very lucky woman then.” 

 

Shaking his head, Chanyeol corrected her. “It’s a guy, and  _ I’m _ lucky to have him.” 

 

The woman quickly apologized before she said nothing else and helped Chanyeol in choosing a ring for males. 

 

All it took was less than thirty minutes until Chanyeol finally found the perfect ring; it was a simple, diamond encrusted Cartier ring. 

 

Kyungsoo watched attentively at Chanyeol who paid for the ring with his own money. The doe-eyed male wasn’t sure how he was supposed to feel about Chanyeol being able to afford his own things now. In the past, Kyungsoo remembered how he always had to help Chanyeol pay for things, even having to bid him out of juvy after he was caught shoplifting. The strange emotions were suddenly flaring up within him again because he realized the grasp he had on Chanyeol was slowly loosening. The taller male was leaning away, and he was leaning away from Kyungsoo. 

 

The latter only clenched his fists as he looked at the wide grin on Chanyeol’s face. 

 

* * * 

 

It was a Sunday night when Chanyeol decided to take Baekhyun out on a date, and he had already planned to propose to Baekhyun during this very date. 

 

Everything was already going according to Chanyeol’s plan; Baekhyun had no idea what was to come, and the giant couldn’t wait to see the young male’s reaction once he proposed. 

 

“Chanyeol, are you sure I can order whatever I want?” Baekhyun asked hesitantly as his eyes scanned briefly over the menu, almost getting a heart attack as he also looked at the prices. Sure, he was a doctor and had enough money to afford for anything on the menu, but that didn’t mean that he thought it was reasonable for food to be so expensive. Also, he wasn’t the one who would be paying since Chanyeol  _ insisted _ he pay for tonight’s meal. “It’s very expensive here. I honestly would have been fine eating ramen at a convenience store.” 

 

Chanyeol smiled with glee, knowing that Baekhyun still remembered that time when he brought Baekhyun to a convenience store on their first “date.” It was memories like those that ensured the fact that Chanyeol was making the right decision tonight. There had been no other man like Baekhyun who encaptivated Chanyeol’s heart. Baekhyun was the one he truly loved. 

 

“Don’t worry, Baek, feel free to get anything you want. Besides, I saved up a lot of money, and you deserve this.” 

 

Baekhyun narrowed his eyes a little. “Am I missing something? As far as I remember, it’s neither our birthdays and our anniversary just passed.” 

 

Chanyeol heaved a sigh. “Come on, a guy can’t take his boyfriend out for a date once in a while?” 

 

_ Boyfriend.  _ Chanyeol smiled to himself knowing that Baekhyun’s title as his boyfriend would most likely change very soon. 

 

“Fine, I trust you.” Baekhyun eventually gave up, and when the waitress came over to get their orders, the young doctor simply ordered a salad. 

 

Chanyeol’s heart swelled when he noticed that Baekhyun ordered one of the cheaper items on the menu. He didn’t comment on it, though, because he knew that his boyfriend would only deny it. 

 

After Chanyeol also placed his order, the waitress left the two of them alone as she went back to the kitchen. As the two waited for their foods to survive, the two men chatted amongst each other in peace. They even played a few rounds of ‘Never Have I Ever.’ 

 

“Never have I ever had a pet,” Baekhyun admitted as it was his turn; he let out a light chuckle when he watched Chanyeol widen his eyes almost as if him never having a pet was a sin. 

 

“Never? Not even a goldfish?” 

 

Baekhyun shook his head. “My family was always too busy to think about getting one.” 

 

“Did you ever want a pet?” 

 

The doctor shrugged. “I always wanted a dog to play with, but that would have been impossible because of my dad’s allergies.” 

 

“Well, why don’t we get a dog in the future? You can choose the breed and even the name, and I’ll help take care of it with you.” 

 

Chanyeol saw how Baekhyun’s eyes sparkled. “Really? You mean it?”

 

The giant nodded, smiling once again to himself when he practically implied that he and Baekhyun would be together for a very long time, and hopefully that would become true in just a few hours.

 

As the two men continued to chat to each other, their foods arrived and they ate happily in silence. 

 

Once they were finished with their meal and Chanyeol paid for everything (to Baekhyun’s protest), the smaller male was sure that they would be going home right after, but Chanyeol stated that he had one more thing he wanted to do with Baekhyun. The latter, confused, simply agreed to go with Chanyeol to wherever the giant wanted to take him. 

 

Chanyeol drove his scooter with Baekhyun sitting behind him, holding onto his waist as tightly as possible because no matter how many times he rode on Chanyeol’s scooter, he would probably never get used to how fast and livid Chanyeol would drive the vehicle. 

 

As Chanyeol continued to drive further onto the streets of Seoul, Baekhyun realized they were heading towards the direction of Han River; he was proved to be correct when Chanyeol found a parking spot near the famous tourist attraction and held onto Baekhyun’s hand as the latter got off the bike. 

 

Chanyeol didn’t let go of Baekhyun’s hand as they walked on the sidewalk, the large river to their right. It had been so long since Baekhyun came to this area. The last time he came here was with his son, and ever since Taehyung’s death, Baekhyun couldn’t find it within his heart to ever come back, but here he was now with the man he came to love. 

 

“This is absolutely beautiful, Chanyeol.” Baekhyun tightened his grip on Chanyeol’s hand. “It’s been so long since I’ve come here, and today’s a wonderful day to be out here.” 

 

“I’m glad that you like it,” Chanyeol replied as he reached into his jacket pocket and felt the velvety box, his heart starting to beat a little faster when he thought about what would happen in just mere minutes. “Come on, follow me.” 

 

“Yeol, where are we going?” Baekhyun asked incredulously as Chanyeol lead them to a more private area with less people. They now stood directly below the bridge where people were out of their sight. There were still some passersby, but Chanyeol paid no heed to them. His sole attention was on Baekhyun, and as he stopped the smaller male from walking any further from where he was, he held onto Baekhyun’s other hand. Now he had both of Baekhyun’s hands in his, and he didn’t fail to notice how soft and slender Baekhyun’s fingers were. 

 

“Chanyeol, what are you doing?” 

 

“Baek, you know we’ve been dating for almost more than a year, right?” 

 

The shorter male nodded. “Yes, of course I know.” 

 

Chanyeol continued as he looked deep into Baekhyun’s eyes, his heart beating almost at an unrecognizable pace. “Baekhyun, everything we went through means so much to me. From the first day we met at the hospital to now, I didn’t realize I was falling so far for you.” 

 

“W-What are you trying to say?” 

 

Chanyeol tightened his hold on Baekhyun’s hands. “What I’m trying to say is that I love you. I love you so much, Baekhyun, and I can’t imagine my life with anyone else.” 

 

“Is this what I think it is?” Baekhyun widened his eyes as Chanyeol got down on one knee. At this moment, his heart stopped, and the blood in his veins almost stopped moving. Baekhyun felt like he couldn’t even breathe. 

 

“I know what you’ve been through, Baekhyun. I know how much pain you were in, and you can probably call me selfish for doing this after knowing everything you’ve been through.” Chanyeol took a deep breath in. “But I want you to give it another chance. I want you to give  _ me _ a chance because I promise you… you won’t regret it at all.” 

 

Baekhyun couldn’t help the tears from welling up in his eyes as he looked down at the man who was now reaching for something in his pocket. He knew exactly what the giant was doing, and he wasn’t sure what to think at this very moment. 

 

Chanyeol took a small, velvet box from his pocket and held it out, opening it and revealing a beautiful engagement ring. “B-Baekhyun, I want you to give marriage another chance. W-Will you m-marry me?” 

 

“I-”

 

“ _ Please,” _ Chanyeol was nearly begging at this point; he really couldn’t imagine spending his life with someone other than Baekhyun. 

 

The latter only stared at the ring that was in the box and his heart nearly skipped a beat. He remembered how he used to wear a ring everyday; it was the ring that he wore when Taeyeon was still alive, but after her death, he couldn’t bear to wear the ring ever again. Now, here he was, with another ring being shoved into his face by this man he claimed he loved. 

 

Baekhyun wanted to reject because he was so scared of the past repeating itself. He was afraid that Chanyeol would have the same fate as Taeyeon’s and be left alone again. However, the look in Chanyeol’s eyes told him that the giant was determined to make Baekhyun as happy as possible. 

 

The doctor hated himself for being so terrified. He knew if he was a teenager again, nothing would stop him from going for what he loved, but after everything that happened, there was no doubt that he had hesitation in his actions. 

 

Marrying Chanyeol would be a lifetime commitment, but as Baekhyun thought about the past few months, he realized how happy he had been in such a long time. Chanyeol had been the only who was able to make him forget about the disasters in life and was able to make him  _ smile. _

 

Maybe he really should trust Chanyeol. Besides, there was no harm in giving love one last chance, right?

 

Within a minute, Baekhyun finally gave his response. 

 

“Y-Yes… Chanyeol. I shall marry you.” 

 

Without a second to think, Chanyeol took the ring out of the box and gently slid it onto Baekhyun’s finger, relishing the sight of the ring now on Baekhyun’s perfect finger and knowing Baekhyun was one step closer to being his. 

 

“I love you so much, Baekhyun,” Chanyeol said with no hesitation as he got up and wrapped Baekhyun’s body within his arms and didn’t miss to kiss the shorter male on the lips. 

 

“I love you too, Chanyeol,” Baekhyun said as they separated to catch their breaths, unknowing that he had fallen in love with the man that destroyed what was once his only happiness. 

 

The world was, unfortunately, full of lies. 

  
  



	14. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

 

_ Tick. _

 

_ Tock. _

 

_ Tick. _

 

_ Tock. _

 

The clock’s ticking matched the pace at which the man tapped his pen on the kitchen table. The man had been thinking for weeks. There was nothing he could do except to think after he received an invitation to his friend’s wedding that would be taking place in one month. 

 

The man had long thrown the invitation into the trash, but he saved the date, thinking that it would be important for the future. And here he was, thanking himself that he did save the date. As the date of the wedding ceremony was approaching faster than ever, the man had thought he needed to do something, fast. 

 

He had to stop this wedding at all costs no matter what, even if Chanyeol was his friend. 

 

People would probably think this man had good intentions, that he probably didn’t want Baekhyun to fall into a marriage filled with lies, but it wasn’t anything like that. 

 

Kyungsoo hated Baekhyun because the latter had taken the man he loved away from him. 

 

Kyungsoo was smart and calculative, and he was a genius. Knowing that Chanyeol would never expect this from him, he smirked slyly to himself as he saved the hidden video footage onto his flash drive. His room becoming darker than from a minute before.

 

* * * 

 

“Have you bought a wedding gift for Baekhyun and Chanyeol yet?” the older nurse asked the younger nurse. 

 

Jongdae looked up only to see his coworker scrolling through the computer to find a gift. “I already have.” 

 

“Liar.”

 

Rolling his eyes, Jongdae reached under the desk to pull out a brown bag. “It’s in here.” 

 

“Don’t tell me you got them underwear-”

 

“What the hell? Why would I do that?” Jongdae placed his hand over his chest, a little irritated that his friend would even think he’d pull off something like that.

 

“Because you’re Jongdae.” Minseok laughed aloud when Jongdae only rolled his eyes once again before looking through some of the patient’s files. As he looked through them, he came across Chanyeol’s file once again and glanced carefully at it, making sure that Minseok wasn’t watching him. 

 

He looked at every word and letter on the file but couldn’t understand how there was missing information on the file. It all seemed too strange, and Jongdae felt his hand starting to get clammy by how strange this whole situation was. 

 

“Nurse Kim?” 

 

Jongdae looked up to see another nurse who called out to him. “Hey, what’s up?”

 

“Is Baekhyun here?” the nurse asked curiously as she held a strange looking envelope. 

 

“No,” Jongdae replied as he stared incredulously at the envelope. “Is that for him?”

 

The nurse nodded. 

 

“I can send it to him if you want.” 

 

The nurse was slightly hesitant in handing the envelope over, but she knew that Jongdae and Baekhyun were very close, so she eventually decided to hand it over. “The person who sent this said that only Baekhyun should open it.” 

 

“Do you know who sent it?” Jongdae narrowed his eyes as he looked at the strange looking envelope.

 

The nurse shrugged. “He said he wanted to stay anonymous.” 

 

Jongdae continued to look at the envelope before he saw a note attached to the back of the envelope, and it read: ‘ _ The truth lies within this envelope.’ _

 

The nurse nodded to his coworker as she walked away, leaving Jongdae alone with the mysterious envelope. 

 

As soon as Jongdae saw that the nurse was out of sight, he immediately opened the package. 

 

“You’re not really going to open it, are you?” Minseok asked as he watched Jongdae nearly rip open the envelope. 

 

“I am, and don’t try to stop me. Who the hell would just try to come here and give this to Baekhyun with a weird note attached to it? I’m only doing this Baekhyun’s good.” 

 

Minseok heaved a sigh, knowing he couldn’t stop his friend. 

 

Once Jongdae finally opened the package, he looked inside only to see nothing but a piece of paper and a flash drive. Taking the paper out, he glanced at it only for his jaws to drop wide open. “M-Minseok…”

 

“Yeah?” 

 

“Come take a look at this.”

 

Minseok instantly walked over to see what Jongdae was looking at, and he too had the same reaction as his friend. “Is this-”

 

“It’s Chanyeol’s missing medical record.” 

 

“Holy fuck…” 

 

Jongdae continued to looked through the file before the sentences at the bottom caught his attention:  _ ‘Patient may have psychopath disorder. Patient has lashed out several times and acted irrationally. Patient is advised to be looked out for. Patient did not complete therapy sessions.’ _

 

It didn’t take long before Jongdae reached into the envelope and pulled out a flashdrive. Immediately, he inserted the flash drive into the computer and waited for the document to load. Thankfully, it didn’t take long before a black and white video started to play. 

 

Jongdae nearly had to squint to see what exactly he was watching until he realized. “M-Minseok, t-this is from Taehyung’s birthday party.”   
  


“What?!” Minseok nearly shrieked, mindful of other patients in the hallway. “That’s impossible! The owner said that all the video clips from the birthday party were gone or missing. We assumed that it was-”

 

“Hacked.” 

 

Jondae watched the video carefully before the video began to speed up and then slow down after a minute. It was at this moment that Jongdae watched the horror before him. He could see a tall man wearing a hat with a mask over his face. Jongdae had no doubt that it was Chanyeol just from looking at how tall the man was. 

 

Jongdae watched as the man pulled over a little boy, and the nurse could feel himself shake when he realized that the little boy was Taehyung. He nearly bursted in tears when he realized he should’ve had his eyes on Taehyung the entire time. 

 

The two men continued to watch the video clip before terror struck them as they watched the man in the video pull out a gun on an unconscious Taehyung. 

 

Neither of them could watch what was next because they knew what would happen. 

 

With a shaky breath, Jongdae pulled the flash drive out of the computer and slumped down on his chair. “C-Call Baekhyun. W-We have to tell him.” 

 

“Jongdae, do you realize what that’ll do to him?! He’s going to be  _ crushed _ . Imagine finding out that your fiancé killed your son.” 

 

“Then what the hell do you suggest we do?! Our friend is going to be married to some psychopath in one month, Minseok. In one month, Baekhyun’s life will be fucked over, and I refuse to allow that to happen,” Jongdae cried out as he got up from his chair and walked towards the entrance. 

 

“Where are you going?” Minseok yelled as he chased Jongdae down. 

 

“To find Baekhyun and to tell him the truth.” 

 

“Jong-”

 

“Don’t you dare try to stop me. If you care for Baekhyun like I did, you won’t try to stop me.” 

 

Minseok nearly wanted to scream out of frustration but he held it in as professionally as he could. “You need to think about it. You need to think about how Baekhyun’s reaction would be. J-Just… don’t do anything careless,  _ please _ , because I care about Baekhyun just like you do.” 

 

Letting out a heavy sigh, Jongdae left the hospital without another word said. Minseok could only hope and watch miserably at his friend who walked off into the parking lot. 

 

Things just got really fucked up. 

 

* * * 

 

Jongdae clenched his hands around the steering wheel as his car was now parked in front of Baekhyun’s house. His mind was clouded with the memories of Chanyeol trying to deceive them all. They were all fooled by this psychopath. Why did Jongdae have to agree to allow Chanyeol marry his best friend?

 

Jongdae felt like a pathetic fool, his head now resting on the steering wheel, contemplating his next move. 

 

After driving to Baekhyun’s house, he thought about what Minseok told him and realized the nurse was right. If he told Baekhyun the truth about Chanyeol, he couldn’t imagine how his best friend would react. Jongdae was terrified his friend could possibly go into shock. However, he couldn’t just allow Baekhyun to marry the psychopath. 

 

As Jongdae contemplated for another few minutes, he nearly let out a shriek when he heard someone tapping on the window of his car. Looking up, he almost jumped out of his seat if it weren’t for the seatbelt holding him back. 

 

It was Chanyeol. 

 

Jongdae clenched his hands as he slowly took a deep breath in before sliding the windows down. 

 

“Hey, I was taking out the trash and happened to see you parked outside. Are you looking for Baekhyun?” Chanyeol asked, oblivious to the fact that Jongdae  _ knew _ he was psychotic. “He’s actually not here right now, but I can send him your message if you’d like.”

 

Jongdae thought about it for a minute before he realized that this was probably better. “No, I actually came to see you, Chanyeol. How are you doing?” 

 

The giant smiled happily. “Great! Baekhyun and I can’t wait for the wedding next month.” 

 

“I see. I’m sure Baekhyun must be very happy.” 

 

Chanyeol slowly nodded, noticing the slight sarcasm within Jongdae’s tone. “Yeah, he’s very happy.” 

 

“Then I assume he knows all your secrets?” 

 

Chanyeol froze. “What do you mean? I tell him everything.” 

 

“So does that mean he knows about what you’ve done?” Jongdae narrowed his eyes and smirked when he noticed Chanyeol’s eyes darken drastically. It only proved that his assumptions were correct. 

 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

 

“You know exactly what I’m talking about, Park Chanyeol, or should I say you psychopath.” 

 

Immediately, Chanyeol grabbed Jongdae’s neck and gripped tightly onto his neck. “What the hell do you know?” 

 

Jongdae gave the giant a devilish smirk. “You’re… a…. Monster,” he breathed out as he felt Chanyeol tightening his grip on his neck. 

 

“Take that back!” Chanyeol yelled, his voice booming inside the car. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

 

“Seems like you forgot that you killed a little, innocent boy, haven’t you?” 

 

Before Chanyeol could even respond, a voice called out for him. Immediately, the two of them recognized it to be Baekhyun’s. Chanyeol instantly released his hold on Jongdae’s neck before he backed out from the car and put on a smile as best as he could. 

 

“Hey, babe,” Chanyeol said softly as Baekhyun slowly walked over. 

 

“Hey, Yeol, what are you doing? Is that Jongdae?” Baekhyun walked up to the driver’s seat and saw his friend in the car. “Hey, Jong- Are you okay?! You look a bit shaken up.” 

 

Jongdae opened his mouth before he saw Chanyeol sending him a deathly glare. Taking a shaky breath, Jongdae replied, “Chanyeol was just telling me a scary story. Don’t worry about it.” 

 

Baekhyun shrugged without a second thought before he asked Jongdae if the latter wanted to come in. 

 

“No thanks, I just wanted to have a chat with Chanyeol.” 

 

“Oh, okay then!” Baekhyun replied happily. “By the way, aren’t you supposed to be working today?” 

 

“I got off of work early today,” he lied. “And I just wanted to come by to give you something.” Jongdae picked up the envelope and was about to hand it to Baekhyun before Chanyeol took it instead. 

 

“Thanks for the gift, Jongdae,” Chanyeol faked a smile as he hid the envelope behind his back. He didn’t forget to send the nurse another deathly glare while Baekhyun wasn’t looking. The doctor only shrugged, unknowing that within the envelope was the  _ truth _ . 

 

Jongdae, feeling like this was all he could do for now, merely stated that he should leave. “I’ll see you later, Baek. Just… be careful.”

 

Before the doctor could even respond, Jongdae rolled up the window and left soon after, leaving Baekhyun rather confused. “I’ve never seen him so shaken up like that. Just what on earth did you tell him?”

 

“It was nothing. I promise, he’ll be fine,” Chanyeol lied as he lead Baekhyun back to the house, holding tightly onto the envelope because he knew exactly what was inside. 

 

Just as they got inside the house, Chanyeol received a message on his phone. It was sent from Jongdae. 

 

_ Jongdae: If you don’t tell him, I’ll tell him.  _

 

Chanyeol clenched his fists as he stared at the message and wondered who could have sent this envelope to him. There was no one he could think of besides the one man he trusted almost as much as Baekhyun. 

 

_ Kyungsoo. _

 

The giant felt his heart clench, wondering why the hell Kyungsoo would try to betray him like this. There had to be a reason because Kyungsoo would never do something like this without a reason. 

 

“Baek, I… have to go out for a bit. I’ll be back soon, okay?” Chanyeol placed a soft kiss on Baekhyun’s head before he rushed out the door without allowing Baekhyun to reply. 

 

* * *

 

Chanyeol sped up his scooter, hands clutching tightly onto the steering bar of the vehicle. His heart was beating rapidly in his chest as his mind was beginning to fill up with useless thoughts. He nearly crashed into a car if it wasn’t for the person who honked at him. Chanyeol received a nasty look from the driver, but he paid no heed as he only continued to speed up, heading towards Kyungsoo’s apartment. 

 

Once he arrived, there was nothing stopping him from rushing into the building and nearly busting the door down. 

 

“You fucking TRAITOR!” Chanyeol screamed out loud, crying out in frustration when there was no response. 

 

He looked around the apartment only to find nothing but a note stuck to the fridge. Chanyeol’s eyes widened as he read the note carefully. 

 

_ I had to do it because I’m in love with you. I don’t regret it.  _

 

Chanyeol knew this note was for him; Kyungsoo wouldn’t have a note like this lying around for no reason. Looking around him, the giant tore the note apart, paying no attention to what had been written on it. Kyungsoo had been in love with him?  _ He could go fuck himself.  _ Chanyeol thought as he searched around the apartment again, this time noticing a door that lead to Kyungsoo’s room was closed. 

 

Chanyeol furrowed his brows because it was unusual for Kyungsoo to leave the door closed in his house. Without hesitation, Chanyeol bursted through the door only to let out a shout of fear. “HOLY FUCK!” 

 

There Kyungsoo was, lying atop his bed with his eyes open yet so distant from reality. Chanyeol walked closer to the unmoving body before he looked carefully and saw how deathly pale Kyungsoo’s body was. 

 

“You fucking fool. You fucking, pathetic fool.” Chanyeol cried as he sunk to his knees, holding onto Kyungsoo’s cold hands. He wanted to punch the little guy so much, but it was useless because Kyungsoo was dead. “I would never love you, Soo. God… you’re pathetic.” 

 

Although Chanyeol used to see Kyungsoo as his best friend, he was not blind to see that Kyungsoo was a monster himself. Of course, he had followed the man around because there was no one else around, but then when Kyungsoo mentioned his revenge plan on Kai, Chanyeol knew he would have fallen into his own grave if he didn’t listen to Kyungsoo. 

 

The latter had promised to help Chanyeol with his own plan if the giant helped him. Together, they worked together as a duo. They first started in Busan, where they’d be fulfilling Chanyeol’s revenge first. Kyungsoo helped Chanyeol track down Taeyeon and his husband, and they eventually found out where they were located from Taeyeon’s social media account. 

 

She was a fool, Kyungsoo had said as they started on their revenge. From Busan, they began to take down little kids from different schools just because Kyungsoo said it was good practice for Chanyeol, and the latter actually believed him. 

 

Kyungsoo was smart, however, and he knew that the police would be after the culprit, so when he eventually decided that enough was enough, they had to stop for a while before they had to continue so there wouldn’t be any suspicions. The two hid from the police for years until Chanyeol found out about Taeyeon’s death through the news. Chanyeol’s rage, at that point, had been too much, and Kyungsoo declared that it was time to start on their revenge again. 

 

It took all of Chanyeol’s power not to cry or to hesitate as he pulled the trigger on the little boy that reminded him so much of Taeyeon, but because he had been trained by Kyungsoo for so long, his heart coldened, and he pulled the trigger without shedding a tear. 

 

Kyungsoo was prepared for what was to come and immediately deleted the video footage on the security camera. While Chanyeol was hurting internally, Kyungsoo could only care less as he and Chanyeol quickly moved on to help Kyungsoo get his revenge on Kai. 

 

From then on, Chanyeol had been Kyungsoo’s little puppet, even sacrificing himself to save Kyungsoo from his therapy sessions when he was caught. Since Kyungsoo was rather appreciative of Chanyeol taking his place, he helped Chanyeol get rid of some of his medical history as the therapist wrote down what Chanyeol had been doing. 

 

Chanyeol pretended to act psychotic in order for the officials to never suspect Kyungsoo; he had taken Kyungsoo’s place at the therapist’s office but decided to give up after weeks of going to therapy and feeling as if he was becoming psychotic himself. After abruptly ending his therapy sessions, he immediately ran for his life, hoping he’d never have to face Kyungsoo again. 

 

Chanyeol had bursted out in anger as he realized how much shit he had gone into after he met Kyungsoo; he had punched a wall and nearly got himself run over by a car if it wasn’t for a kind passerby who called the ambulance. 

 

That was the very moment he ended up in the hospital, eventually meeting Baekhyun for the first time. While Chanyeol began to open up to Baekhyun more and the latter allowed him to stay at his house, Kyungsoo had been looking for him the entire time. 

 

When the doe eyed male eventually found him, the latter immediately apologized and stated that he would never let Chanyeol go so far for him ever again, and the giant was a fool to believe him. Chanyeol had considered going back to Kyungsoo’s place because he was guilty of staying over at Baekhyun’s house, but after Baekhyun admitted his love for him, Chanyeol’s heart told him to stay with Baekhyun. 

 

Maybe that moment was fate, but now that everything was coming around in a full circle, Chanyeol shivered, wondering if fate was playing some sick, cruel joke on him. 

 

He took one last look at Kyungsoo before he called the ambulance. Chanyeol didn’t forget to place a bottle of pills on the bedside table to make it more believable that Kyungsoo committed suicide. The giant cursed at the unmoving figure on the bed, noticing how there was nothing surrounding Kyungsoo; he realized that Kyungsoo was trying to get him caught by the police because if he called the police and they came, there would no doubt be suspicions of him trying to murder Kyungsoo. 

 

“Oh… you fool,” Chanyeol said softly and waited for the police to arrive. 

 

Once the police came, they immediately started asking questions. 

 

“I-I think he o-overdosed,” Chanyeol said sadly, hoping his acting skills were good enough to trick the police. “I… I just came into his room, a-and I saw him on his bed, unmoving. H-He had a bottle of pills on his nightstand… I-I can’t believe he could do this to himself.” 

 

The police sighed, realizing that was all he would be getting out of Chanyeol before the latter left the apartment, his heart feeling heavier than ever. 

 

There was nothing that could possibly be worse than this, Chanyeol hoped. 

 

Oh how wrong he was. 

 

Chanyeol walked back to his scooter until he realized something, and his body froze up. The envelope wasn’t there. 

 

That only meant that it was still at Baekhyun’s house. 

 

“FUCK!”

 

* * * 

 

Chanyeol nearly barged through the door only to see Baekhyun with confusion written on face the second he stepped into the house. His chest was heaving at that moment because of the adrenaline that was rushing through his veins, absolutely mortified of Baekhyun looking through the envelope. 

 

Fortunately, it didn’t seem like Baekhyun looked through the envelope because the doctor walked up to the giant with nothing but a concerned expression on his face. 

 

“Yeol, are you okay?” Baekhyun immediately asked, worriness in his tone. 

 

“I’m fine. Don’t worry about me.” 

 

“Are you sure?” the doctor asked again, his brows raising up, obviously not believing the giant. 

 

Chanyeol cursed at his boyfriend’s doctor’s instinct because he really didn’t need Baekhyun to question how he was doing right now at that moment. In fact, he was anything but fine; he wanted to scream for help, but it just wasn’t something he could do.

 

What he once thought was his best friend just passed away. 

 

That very best friend of his just so happened to be in love with him and couldn’t bear the thought of him being with Baekhyun. 

 

Not only that but also Jongdae, Baekhyun’s best friend, now knew what Chanyeol had done in the past. What was worse was that Chanyeol didn’t know whether or not Jongdae would tell Baekhyun the truth. 

 

Chanyeol felt his heart racing when he realized what he must do. 

 

It was either he confess to Baekhyun or Baekhyun finds out about the truth from Jongdae, and Chanyeol would rather have the former happening. However, he just needed to do it after the wedding.

 

Right.

 

After the wedding, he would tell Baekhyun. It would be in one month. Chanyeol could only hope that his mouth wouldn’t say a word before the wedding. 

 

“You should rest, Yeol,” Baekhyun said softly as he placed a comforting hand on Chanyeol’s shoulder, and the latter nodded, agreeing that resting was the best option for him at that moment. 

 

“Baek?”

 

The doctor hummed as he gently helped Chanyeol get on the bed. 

 

“I love you.” 

 

Baekhyun gave the giant a tender smile before placing a soft kiss on Chanyeol’s chapped lips. 

 

“I love you too, Yeol.” 

 

“Promise?” 

 

Chanyeol held up his pinky finger.

 

In response, Baekhyun heaved a sigh before sticking his own pinky finger up and crossing it with Chanyeol’s. “I promise.” 

 

The giant soon fell into a deep slumber, his thoughts soon fading away into a deep abyss, but the guilt stayed lingering in his darkened heart. 

 


	15. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

 

One day. 

 

Twenty four hours. 

 

1440 minutes.

 

86400 seconds. 

 

In that amount of time, Baekhyun would officially be wedded to Chanyeol.

 

There had been a plethora of emotions that Baekhyun felt all within the span of one month. He really wasn’t sure how to feel by the end of the month, if he had to be honest. Baekhyun had already gone through this phase once when he married Taeyeon, but he was young and naïve at that time, never thinking that he would end up losing his wife. 

 

Now that he was going to marry Chanyeol, Baekhyun knew that anything could happen to him. He just didn’t exactly know what it would be, but he was afraid. 

 

Despite this fear, however, Chanyeol made sure that Baekhyun was continued to be loved by taking care of him and making his fears go away. Chanyeol had only reassured Baekhyun that his decision to marry him was right. 

 

Baekhyun could only hope that he and Chanyeol would be able to live happily in the future. The doctor was already thinking about getting a dog after he married Chanyeol, and this thought brought nothing but happiness to him as he thought about what the future could hold. 

 

Since the wedding was in one day, Baekhyun was given a day off from work to prepare for the wedding. There really wasn’t much to prepare at that moment. Everything was already set up; they would have a small wedding ceremony at a church nearby with only a few of their friends and families.

 

Remembering the friends who were going to show up the next, day, Baekhyun’s thoughts went back to his best friend, Jongdae. The latter had been missing work for more than three weeks. Baekhyun, being Jongdae’s best friend, couldn’t help but be concerned for his friend. He had asked Minseok if Jongdae was fine since they loved together, but the older nurse only reassured that the other nurse was fine with nothing else said after that. 

 

Baekhyun thought it was a bit strange at how his friends were reacting. They seemed to be rather distant from him, he realized. All he could do was truly hope that everything was fine. He even texted Jongdae if the latter was okay and that he wasn’t obligated to come to the wedding, but Jongdae merely replied that he was going to show up and nothing else. 

 

Baekhyun tried to shrug off this feeling that maybe Minseok and Jongdae knew something that he didn’t, but he couldn’t help but think about what could make his two friends react this way. As he tried to relieve his mind of these thoughts, he decided it would be best to clean up the house before he and Chanyeol would be leaving for their trip to Europe after the wedding. 

 

While Chanyeol was away at that moment, Baekhyun began to clean up the house, getting every speck of dust from each corner of the house. Eventually, when he reached the last room that hadn’t been cleaned in years, Baekhyun hesitated. 

 

It was Taehyung’s room. 

 

The room had been untouched for years, for Baekhyun had dared to step inside, afraid that the memory of his son dying in that damn hospital room would shaken him up. However, after Chanyeol came into his life, the giant had brought nothing but happiness and reassurance that he wasn’t alone. Now, Baekhyun felt like he finally had the courage to step into the room, his hands becoming clammy and his body tensing up just slightly as he twisted the doorknob. 

 

Just as he opened the door and turned on the lights, Baekhyun’s mind was flooded with memories of his precious son. Nothing in the room had changed except for the surfaces of some of the furniture being slightly more dusty. It almost seemed like Taehyung was never actually gone and that he had only gone to school for a couple of house. 

 

Baekhyun’s heart clenched in his chest when that thought shattered in his mind as he looked at the shattered pictures he broke after Taehyung died, a reminder of what he almost tried to do to himself. 

 

The doctor willed the thoughts to go away and only tried to remember the happy moments he shared with his son. He smiled softly as he remembered going to the ice cream store with his son, or when Taehyung would come to his bedroom when he was having a nightmare. It was memories like those that Baekhyun wished he could’ve cherished a little more, but how was he to know that his son would be taken away from him so soon?

 

Baekhyun felt like he should’ve been more aware; he should’ve been more careful. The guilt was slowly creeping up on him, and Baekhyun felt like he couldn’t tolerate it anymore. Without giving another second to think, the doctor quickly left the room, his heart feeling so much heavier yet lighter now that he stepped into the room. 

 

Immediately, Baekhyun went to the next room that had yet to be cleaned. It was the guest room where Chanyeol once slept in. Ever since he and Chanyeol became boyfriends, the latter only slept with Baekhyun in the master’s bedroom, the guest room long forgotten. 

 

When Baekhyun stepped into the room, he noticed that Chanyeol’s laptop was still open. When he made his way to close the laptop, Baekhyun noticed a strange video playing on the screen. 

 

Unsure of what the video was, Baekhyun started the scene from the beginning, not realizing that the video was actually the video footage of his son being murdered. 

 

Baekhyun had yet to register the fact that he was basically intruding on Chanyeol’s personal items, but he was so captivated by the video that he couldn’t stop watching the video. 

 

When Baekhyun looked a little closer at the screen, his heart to the bottom of his stomach. He recognized Jongdae and Minseok in the video, and when he looked at the date, Baekhyun felt like his body had gone cold and stiff. It was the date when he got the call that his son had been… 

 

“Taehyung…” Baekhyun whispered when he saw his son in the video being dragged into a darkened hallway, away from the other kids and parents at the party venue. 

 

Baekhyun begged for his eyes to move because he knew what was coming up, but he couldn’t. He only looked carefully at the man who had taken his son and that was when his heart stopped beating in his chest for a moment. 

 

It was  _ Chanyeol.  _

 

* * * 

 

Chanyeol returned home a little later than he would have liked (curse the damn dry cleaners for mixing up his outfit with someone else’s!), but even that wouldn’t dampen his mood because in one day, he would be married to Baekhyun. 

 

With excitement, he entered the house, calling out to Baekhyun as he placed his wedding suit to the suit. Chanyeol furrowed his brows when he noticed the house was completely dark, the lights have yet to be turned on. That was strange, first of all, because he knew Baekhyun was home, and it was rare for the doctor to not turn on the lights whenever he was home. 

 

“Baekhyun?” Chanyeol called out to his fiancé, but he received no response. Now, Chanyeol was starting to get worried. His heart was starting to beat a little rapidly in his chest as he walked further into the darkened house, but when he saw that the lights in the guest room was turned on, his heart nearly stopped. 

 

It was only then that he remembered he accidentally left the computer on while watching the video footage. He had been trying to delete the footage, but then he got the call from the dry cleaners that his suit was done. 

 

Immediately, Chanyeol dashed his way into the room only for his heart to completely drop in his chest as he saw Baekhyun staring intensely at the video with a glass of water in his hand. 

 

“B-Baek-”

 

“You’re… back,” Baekhyun said softly, his voice almost an octave lower, nearly sending shivers down Chanyeol’s spine. “Did you have a good day today?”

 

The doctor slowly looked up, and Chanyeol could see the look of absolute mortification and betrayal in his eyes. 

 

“Baekhyun, look, I can explain.” 

 

“What’s there to explain?” 

 

Chanyeol walked closer to Baekhyun only to stop when the latter abruptly stood up, his legs a little shaky as he got up. 

 

“I’m… I-I-” Chanyeol was at a loss for words before he heard glass shattering on the wall. Widening his eyes, Chanyeol watched helplessly as Baekhyun threw the glass of water onto the wall, his hands immediately beginning to drip with blood. “BAEK-”

 

“MURDERER!” 

 

Chanyeol winced, his heart pounding in his chest. 

 

“YOU FUCKING MONSTER!” 

 

Baekhyun’s voice was filled with terror and rage as his shouts reverberated throughout the entire house. 

 

“I’m sorry, Baekhyun!” Chanyeol cried as he kneeled on his knees, paying no care to the glass that was cutting through his skin because he knew this was nothing compared to what Baekhyun was feeling at that moment. “I-I was going to tell you after the wedding. I… i had been a fool. I didn’t even know that he was your son!” 

 

“Get lost,” Baekhyun seethed through gritted teeth.

 

“But-”

 

“I said to  _ fucking  _ GET LOST, monster!” the shorter male nodded as his breaths began to shorten and his chest was heaving. “I… I can barely look at you, knowing that I was so blindly in love with someone who killed my own precious son.” 

 

“How could I have been such a fool?!” Baekhyun continued to shout, but it felt like he wasn’t talking directly at Chanyeol but mostly at himself. “WHY AM I STILL SUCH A FOOL?” Baekhyun wailed as he fisted his hair and pulled harshly, and soon enough he was also on the floor, the glass cutting through his skin but nothing was more painful than knowing the man he loved had killed his son. 

 

“My precious Taehyung… God… I-I…” 

 

“Please… Baek-”

 

“SHUT UP! I… I hate myself so much right now that I just want to fucking end my life here, but I can’t because no matter how much I want to try to kill you right now, I just can’t because i’m still helplessly in fucking love with you!” Baekhyun screamed as tears rolled his blood shot eyes, his sobs getting louder as seconds passed by. “WHY?! WHY YOU?!” 

 

Chanyeol didn’t say a word. Besides, what was there to say? He had nothing to say to defend himself, and he knew this was what he deserved. 

 

“He was a little boy! He was just an innocent little boy, so why did you do it?! Why did it have to be my son? WHY?” 

 

“I-I... “ Chanyeol was at a loss for words, so he continued to stay silent, his heart slowly beginning to break as he watched Baekhyun slowly break down in front of him. The man he loved so much, the man he took care of, the man who shared his pain was now slipping away from his grasp, and there was nothing he could do about it. 

 

Just as Chanyeol tried to reach out for Baekhyun, sirens could be heard outside the house. Not a minute passed until the front door could be heard being busted open. 

 

Chanyeol stayed silent as he helplessly watch Baekhyun sob on the floor with shattered glass surrounding him. “Baek… please-”

 

“It’s the police!” a man had entered the room and held up a gun. “We’re looking for Park Chanyeol!” 

 

The giant widened his eyes as the police pointed his gun at him. “W-What-”

 

“You’re under arrest for the murder of five-year-old Byun Taehyung!” shouted the man who held up his gun while another cop walked over to place the handcuffs on his wrists. 

 

“How’d…you guys find out?” 

 

“Does the name Do Kyungsoo sound familiar?” the cop who handcuffed him asked, his tone monotonous. 

 

Chanyeol merely nodded, mentally cursing at himself for forgetting that Kyungsoo was the one who had the hacked video footages saved onto his laptop. After Kyungsoo’s death, Chanyeol had completely forgotten that there was another evidence of him killing the little boy other than just the flashdrive. 

 

“You’re coming with us.” The police pulled him up before they pushed him out the door. However, just before Chanyeol was completely out the door, he looked back behind him, his heart shattering just like the broken pieces of glass on the ground when he saw just how damaged Baekhyun was. He was thankful for another policeman to help Baekhyun out, but he hated himself for not being the one to comfort the doctor like he was supposed to. 

 

“I’ll always love you, Baekhyun.” 

 

The latter looked up with his bloodshot eyes. 

 

“Fuck you, Park Chanyeol, you… monster.”

 

Everything had been so perfect until that very moment. Chanyeol had tried to lie to himself that everything would be okay, but he should’ve known better. 

 

The lies would only try to strike him when he least expected it. 

 

* * * 

 

_Five Years Later_

 

Winter had been harsher and colder this year than any other year. The country had been bombarded with a few warnings from the government to stay inside because it was so cold. 

 

That, however, didn’t stop Baekhyun from acting recklessly. 

 

Besides, the cold never bothered him anyway. Ever since five years had passed since  _ that _ incident, Baekhyun’s heart had frozen up; the walls he once built around his heart was now built once again, this time it was built with more sturdiness because never again would he allow love to conquer his heart. 

 

He had lost all contact with everyone he cared for with the exception of his family who came by to visit once in a while to check up on him. 

 

Jongdae and Minseok also came by, but it was rarely now that they had been promoted and they had their own lives. Baekhyun couldn’t blame them. Really, the only person who should be blamed was himself. He had forced himself to push everyone of his life, terrified that he would be lied to again. 

 

Jongdae was persistent, though, as he tried to convince Baekhyun that he was going to tell the truth to him, but Baekhyun wouldn’t hear any of it. He didn’t want to hear anything anymore; he didn’t want to do anything anymore. 

 

Baekhyun had even decided to quit his job as a doctor, feeling as if the position just wasn’t suitable for him. It took him awhile to make that decision for himself, but what made him eventually quit was the fact that he felt like if he couldn’t even take care of himself, then he couldn’t take care of other people. 

 

Jongdae had begged him to stay and rethink about his decisions, but Baekhyun was set on quitting his job. 

 

Now, without his job, Baekhyun felt as lifeless as ever with so many people he loved now gone. 

 

Taeyeon.

 

Taehyung.

 

....

 

Even Chanyeol. 

 

Without a job, Baekhyun knew he couldn’t afford his house anymore, so he sold mostly everything he had and bought a cheaper apartment room. Then, with the leftover money, he had actually went to the pet store himself and decided to buy a puppy, a Welsh Corgi to be exact, and eventually named the puppy ‘Loey.’ 

 

Loey grew up to become a wonderful companion. The dog was all that everything Baekhyun had left now. There were so many times when Baekhyun thought about ending it all in his very own apartment, but whenever Loey would come to him and just lick his cheeks, Baekhyun willed the thoughts away for the sake of his dog. 

 

Loey was supposed to be his and Chanyeol’s, but after everything that happened, it was impossible. 

 

With a soft sigh, Baekhyun finally decided to get up from his bed with Loey trying to tag along. 

 

“No, Loey, not today. It’s too cold to go out today,” Baekhyun said softly to the dog as he put on a jacket before he left the house, shivering immediately when the cold, winter air brushed his face. 

 

He heard Loey whimper from outside his apartment, but Baekhyun paid no heed as he walked to get to his car. 

 

He started the car and soon drove to his usual destination, his mind continuing to stay blank the entire time. The car ride was silent, the radio had long been used since Baekhyun didn’t want to listen to anything anymore. Not even the songs he used to listen to with Chanyeol would ever make his soul come back to life anymore. 

 

Though he was still breathing, Baekhyun felt like he was as lifeless as ever. 

 

For five years, Baekhyun felt this way. For five damn years, Baekhyun didn’t know why he still felt this way when he should’ve stopped right after Chanyeol had been arrested. 

 

With these thoughts in mind, Baekhyun almost forgot to make the turn but was reminded by his GPS to make his turn. Once he pulled into the parking lot, Baekhyun got out of the car, shivering once again when the cold air hit his face. 

 

With a few silent steps, he made his way into the building, into the prison where the man he loved was held captive. 

 

“I’m visiting Park Chanyeol,” Baekhyun said monotonously to the police before the latter told him to follow him to the visitor’s area. 

 

From there, Baekhyun waited patiently behind a glass window, and it wasn’t long before the police opened the door followed by a taller male. There was no doubt that it was Chanyeol. Baekhyun let out a soft gasp as he saw how different Chanyeol looked from the last time he saw him, which was five years ago. 

 

Chanyeol’s hair had grown much longer, and there was a beard now covering his face. However, the most noticeable difference were Chanyeol’s eyes. The eyes that used to shine with happiness and ecstasy was now filled with nothing but darkness and emptiness, similar to Baekhyun’s. 

 

“You’ve got fifteen minutes,” the police said as he stood behind the corner, making sure the prisoner wouldn’t lash out or anything. 

 

For almost a minute, neither of them said anything to each other. Baekhyun wasn’t sure what he was supposed to say. How was he supposed to address the man who he once was going to marry, yet this man had  _ murdered _ his child. 

 

Chanyeol wasn’t doing any better on the other side of the glass window. The giant kept his head low, almost as if he was ashamed to look at Baekhyun. The latter couldn’t blame him, though. Besides, he did call Chanyeol a ‘monster’ the last time he saw him. 

 

“Hey,” Baekhyun finally decided to speak, breaking the silent atmosphere between them. 

 

That got Chanyeol’s attention as his head perked up, his eyes widening almost as if he was surprised that Baekhyun was even talking to him. “B-Baek…”

 

“Look, I’m going to make this clear,” Baekhyun said with his eyes dark and empty. “I don’t know why I came here. If you think I’m here to forgive you or something like that, you’re wrong.” 

 

Chanyeol shook his head. “I don’t expect to be forgiven.” 

 

“Good.” 

 

The silence soon returned, and Baekhyun realized now just how awkward this was. Really, why exactly did he visit Chanyeol? 

 

“How are you, Baekhyun?” the giant asked this time, breaking the silence between them. 

 

With a soft sigh, Baekhyun admitted defeat as he soon responded to the giant, telling him everything that happened. From him quitting his job to getting a dog to having these unknown feelings. Chanyeol listened to everything, and he even watched helplessly as Baekhyun broke down several times. 

 

“I keep trying to tell myself that I don’t know why I came here,” Baekhyun cried as tears streamed down his face, his eyes turning red. “B-But my heart keeps telling me something different.” 

 

“Time is up,” the police finally interrupted them as he walked over to Chanyeol. 

 

The latter, however, shoved the police away. “WAIT!” the giant shouted as he continued to look at Baekhyun. “W-What is… your h-heart telling you, Baekhyun?” 

 

Baekhyun sobbed hysterically on the other side of the glass window as he futility watched the police nearly tackle Chanyeol down onto the floor for his misbehavior. 

 

“I-I’m… still helplessly in love with you, Park Chanyeol.” 

 

Baekhyun’s heart clenched so tightly in his chest as he finally realized why he was there to visit the murderer. This was all so wrong. He wasn’t supposed to be in love with the giant anymore, but he couldn’t help it. His heart would still continue to beat strongly in his chest whenever he saw Chanyeol. 

 

As soon as Chanyeol heard that, however, his eyes widened, the light that used to linger in them returning for just a second. “R-Really? Are you telling the truth, Baekhyun?” 

 

The latter clenched his fists.  _ Yes.  _ He was telling the truth, but he didn’t want to tell that Chanyeol. Just like what Chanyeol had done to him, Baekhyun wanted to lie to him as well, for he wanted the satisfaction of seeing Chanyeol break down just like how he broke down five years ago. 

 

“N-No… I don’t know what I just said. Forget about it.” 

 

“W-What?!” 

 

“To me, Park Chanyeol, you’re still a pathetic liar, and you’re nothing but a monster.” 

 

Baekhyun smiled sadly as he watched Chanyeol break down before he turned his back on the man he once called his fiancé. “Also,” Baekhyun started one last time before he would leave for good. “Pineapples on pizza is way better than pepperoni.” 

 

_ I’m sorry, Chanyeol, but in this world, don’t we all need to lie to survive? _

 

With that thought in his mind, Baekhyun quickly left the building, but he would never forget Chanyeol’s last words that were spoken to him before he was taken back to his cell. 

 

_ “I will always love you, Byun Baekhyun. There is nothing I regret more in this life than killing your son.”  _

  
  


**The End**


End file.
